Monday, August 13, 2007

vortexia + mayhem = married.


Monday, April 02, 2007

Suspect cheese... 

my mouth tastes like i just ate some cheese, but all i've done is drink some fruit punch. i think it must be tainted punch. it came from a bottle, but with the peanut butter scare and the dog food thing, why couldn't there be some cheese infestation in the fruit punch plant?

not a nasty smelly cheese, a nice crisp sharp cheddar taste. i debated if this was a cosmic foodie sign that i should grab a hunk of cheddar. instead, i decided to eat some bagel crisps and blog.


Thursday, March 29, 2007


i have this kind of modeling gig for a friend in about a month or so. believe it or not with this highly flawed personality and "definition of imperfection" persona, i am somehow a bit of a perfectionist. i visualize everything, so my reality must then closely match the visualization or it seems imperfect. i am also very good at critiquing. so this mumble jumble all causes this normally quirky and happily flawed chickadee to turn down the corners of her mouth in disappointment.


so doing my "research" for next month (read: looking at the pictures other friends have taken where they play like models) has left me a tad bit horrified. icky poses, tortured faces where you can tell they were trying to concentrate on looking sexy, awkward bodies.... eesh. maybe i better strut around in a bra, panties, and high heels to practice feeling really natural in all kinds of sassy poses. i'm sure mayhem would be all for assisting me with this hands on research. yes, i do realize the dirty implications of calling it "hands on research" but i'm leaving it anyway.

latest fuze update. the banana colada after a long day of work tastes striptacularly delicious.

finally, to shamelessly promote the post below, read it and comment! hughugkisskiss!


Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Mush blender... 

so i have been asked what my favorite romantic song is. problem is, i'm notoriously bad at making important decisions. music is life. having to narrow any single category down to one song is impossible in my mind. if you do that, you're excluding every other song ever made that even remotely fits that category of song. never would have thought of either song that was suggested if i were forced to make my pick, but both are good choices.

as much as i hate to admit it, many of the really good mushy romantic songs are country songs. now i'm not advocating them here, i can just recall many seasons of the "it" wedding song being something with a twaaang to it. to me, to a certain extent the song needs to be realistic. kind of like the traditional vows. essentially, i can't promise you a life without pain or sorrow or tears or heartache, but i can promise that we'll go through it together and weather the storm as one. that's the song i want to hear. let's make this a little contest. whoever finds me that really great song that describes a realistic love (and i have to like the song itself, not just the message), i will use it as my wedding song with mayhem if and when that time comes.

i am mildly obsessed with breakfast at tiffany's. fell in love with the book when i chose it to do a book report in high school. it was hyped by the teacher when she said i'd have to get parental permission to read it as my book of choice because it was a bit risque for her prudish mind. won me over when it had a chic cover and was a short, quick read. then capote swept me off my feet with the stunning elixir of words that formed one magnificent story. after that, of course, i had to watch the movie where my dear sweet beloved audrey hepburn was absolutely incredible. if i were to ever change my name just for the whim of it, i would pick the last name of golightly. it's so cheery and bubbly. vortexia golightly. how could you not have fun with that girl by your side?!

do any of you other bloggies laugh at a comment on your site because you feel like you know the person well enough to know exactly how that comment would have been said in real life? i guess that goes for any written communication, but blogs have such personality to them (it's usually word vomit of the person's personality in that 15 minute span on time that holds their attention long enough to type something). obviously, i have revealed (probably since my first post) that i have almost no attention span or linear thinking abilities because i jump and hop and go from place to place.

thought of the day from my fuze drink: "proud of our back-side!" we should all announce that with conviction. we should all be proud of our back sides! our killer ass. our bubble butt. our badonkadonk (or however that's spelled). whatever you may call it. smack it and sizzle!


Sunday, March 25, 2007

Of the day... 

i've been acting domestic lately. haven't been on the computer much. tried doing some home projects. dirt and dust really travels. the carpets were all clean before i started. i did the projects outside. i swept the dirt and dust up when i was finished. however, the inside still got messy when my dog and i came back in. puppy had all kinds of stuff in her fur that she then wriggled out onto the carpets. i had taken off my shoes before i came back inside, but then every step helped to shake loose more of the dirt that had clung onto my skin. my floors do not look clean anymore.

anybody know where you get those wire ball things to train ivy or climbing flowers into a topiary? i have several climbing objects, including an ivy that is just growing out of control. i think that would be cool.

speaking of all that dirt that got tracked through the house, i think i'll go get naked and take a shower.

question of the day: what's a really good romantic song that doesn't make people nauseous? if you've already gotten married, maybe you picked it as your first dance as hubby and wifey. maybe you selected a great song for V-day (the stereotypical one, not the one in celebration of me. although you might have picked the same song for both days if you're in love with me!)

thought of the day: i love hydrangeas. they're so cute i just want to eat them up. except i've heard they're downright deadly to doggies, so i wouldn't actually try to eat them. why do we say that something is so cute we want to eat it anyway? hold the dirty answers, boys, that's not what i'm asking. i can't tell you how many girls i've heard say that a friend's baby is so cute that they just want to eat them up (or the honest ones saying that about their own offspring).

tidbit of the day: one of my friends has a shaggy little dog. i was playing with it and started messing with his hair. did you know that dogs can wear the "flock of seagulls" hair do with great pride? he just looked so cocky with his new 'do!

ok, that's the latest from my brain. sorry i've been so delinquent. off to the shower.


Saturday, March 03, 2007


i came in with a purpose. don't know what it was now. my tummy's feeling weird. i worked out + started + got a stomach virus that made me very queasy. i don't think you can be any worse on one part of your body all at once. and all the people joking that maybe i was just pregnant--- not funny.

it's interesting for me to see how much people really feel they know you. one of my friends went to a happy hour not too long ago and when we saw each other again, he said "oh my gosh, i ran into this guy who said he knows you really well." couldn't tell me his name, described him, and i had no clue who it was. the only thing i could guess was that it was some guy i met once at a meet & greet event. if he handed me his business card, i could recognize the name and design and say that, yes, we had met before. however, i would never consider that i knew him well.

there are those people who try to awkwardly push things further. or make the promise of something further. like they want to get your info the first time you meet so you can go hang out again. this is awkward. you know you aren't going to hang with them again, and you really know that they'll never make that incredibly awkward phone call to arrange it.

i think that's even harder possibly in the friendship realm than in the dating realm. there are so many more possibilities for the friendship spectrum. they could want to be a couples friend, a shopping buddy, a drinking buddy, a happy hour wing man/woman, or the creepy i-just-met-you-but-let's-be-best-friends friend.

easier just to network within your existing friends to new groups. like a tree branching out.

i'm tired, i'm in lingerie, and mayhem just got out of the shower. adios!


Sunday, February 25, 2007


1) It's not cannibalism until you know better.

2) Now I'll be thinking about fruit baskets all night!

these are a couple comments from our weekend. the first was my comment as mayhem and i made cruel conversation about a severely obese toddler we saw. i pointed her out and mayhem said she just hadn't lost her baby fat yet. i asked how many babies she took the baby fat from to get that much pudge. mayhem said she ate her whole preschool class. i responded that it's not cannibalism until you know better. then we died laughing and i started laughing again every time i saw the girl. mostly because it was too cruel. then i realized that i think the guy across from us heard me because he was covering his mouth with his napkin and seemed to be chuckling while looking over at us. oops.

the second comment was made by mayhem as i mentioned that one of our friends chased his wife around the house one day with a fruitbasket (dick tucked around the nuts). mayhem of course wanted to know who it was and i refused to tell him. so he said that now he'd be thinking about fruit baskets all night.

there is something seriously wrong with us. i don't know if we need a censor or medication or a padded cell or what.

well, that was our weekend. how about yours?


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