Vortexia's Secret

Let's start with introductions. I want to hear all the boyfriends stand up and announce, "Hi, my name is _____, and I'm a bad boyfriend at times. I would like to learn to be better."

Nice to meet you, _____. The first misperception that I need to clear up for you boyfriends is this whole "listening" issue. Now, most of you believe that if you store the last 4 words your girlfriend said in some little pocket in your brain you're good to go. You're listening. Right? Wrong. Just covering your ass in the event that your girlfriend utters those words that strike fear into grown men ("Are you listening to me?," aka "You're not even listening are you?," aka "You don't even know what I just told you, do you?") does not mean that you were listening. All that means is that you have enough spare brain cells to store 4 words at a time and regurgitate them on command. Not listening. Not good.

Now for those of you I haven't already lost, let me explain the correct way to listen. Actually listen! Stop watching tv, searching the internet, fixing your computer, playing your video game, talking to your buddies, or whatever and pay attention to what she is telling you. The whole story, not just the last 4 words or the big key words. BUT what's even more important is this... you listen to the emotions behind the words. That's right. You'll suddenly catch on that something is wrong if you do this. Let's have a scenario for this:

GF: (Silence)
BF: Hey baby, is everything ok?
GF: Fine. (Said with hatred, anger, and sadness)
BF: K. (Continues watching the football pregame followed by the game followed by the play-by-plays in complete silence on their 1st anniversary)

While this couple somehow managed to make it to their first anniversary with this kind of communication (or lack thereof), they may not make it to their 2nd. The GF was obviously pissed and the BF didn't even hear her.

I have to get up at 6:15 now for my internship so that's it for now, but I just wanted to help educate the men of the world. Love is a good thing when it's going smoothly, so maybe this can help make a few more relationships last.

Oh, and for the guys who may want to deny that this listening tactic isn't what is employed on a regular basis, I have proof. You guys are often quite good at disguising with this 4 word tactic, but sometimes you slip up. Like today. I was trying to tell Mayhem about something that happened today at work, and I had mentioned in a previous discussion how I couldn't sleep the night before. He heard something about not sleeping (old convo), a lady (check), and a break room (check on the room, negative on the break room). So he pieced together a recap for me that I had been talking to this woman in the break room about how I couldn't sleep well the night before. Nope. Not even close. Totally wrong. And I hadn't even gotten to the point of the story by the time he was telling me this fabricated conversation. He was laughing at a shirt in Target instead of listening. Oops. So you can thank him for this edumucation (and this was a kind education, not a bitchfest in case you add a nasty tone to my writing since you can't hear my tone). Anyway..... Night!