Sunday, February 29, 2004

Parting thought... 

Holy cow I've posted a lot today. This is it, though. I promise. May be for a few days, too. But I had to share this. Ok, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I happened to overhear this as I was fixing my lunch for tomorrow. So my roommate semi-shouts when she's talking on the phone, sometimes in person too. This makes it too easy to overhear random crap. Tonight it was her and her boyfriend strategizing through the phone and IM on an online videogame. Now if you've ever met this roommate it would come as a shock to you that she would ever try games in the first place. Then add the fact that she's a perfectionist and apparently not too good at games. Mid-sandwich making I hear "Oh, sh!t" and explosion sounds. A minute later she says "Baby what happened?" waits for a quick explanation and says "Was that my fault?" She obviously got an affirmative and tried apologizing for it. I don't know why but I find that to be the funniest freaking thing that's happened in this apartment in a while. I think a lot of people tend to walk on eggshells around her to avoid her over-sensitive moodiness. I know I do (somewhat).

Speaking of over-sensitive... I just wanted some input here. I just found out that one of Mayhem's friends (we'll call him S) bailed on him today because another friend (C) invited Mayhem's two best friends (one being S) and S's girlfriend and sister out to dinner paid all by C. Adding to this is the fact that Mayhem helped C move yesterday (while S bailed on that as well) and C still has a certain amount of ass-kissing to do from the crap he did at New Year's (which he may not remember judging by how much he supposedly drank). Now all of this didn't really bother Mayhem, but it really bugged me. I think it's really inconsiderate for his friends to not invite him, for one to bail on him without inviting him, and for them to invite the girlfriend and sister of a guy of all things... but not him. If one of my friends did that to me I'd be pretty hurt. I don't know. Is this not a big deal for guys? Do they not care if they get left out of things? I really need a lesson on being thicker skinned I guess. People hate me and it eats away at me. People are mean to me, same thing. People are mean to my boy, same thing. If you know the key to letting it roll off your back, let me know. Now really and truly I'm off to bed.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.

P.P.S. Still two very important and recent entries below here. Especially if you are good with computers (J and Dan, you're my two geniuses), then you need to read the first one from today. It's entitled "My weekend: an essay a la 2nd grade" and will give the details on my very poor computer.


A new look... 

So I always seem to want something a little different than what I have (blog wise). So I edit, I tweak, I alter, and leave it for a little while... only to go back in a week or so and change it again. So give me some feedback. I also wish business wasn't so slow. I tend to feel like I'm writing to myself... which I am partially since this is my personal thoughts and all, but at times I also feel like knowing that others are appreciating (or at least putting up with) my random thoughts. Maybe I need to change my name to the moody blogger. Bonus for this latest revamp... I found a much easier pain-free way to link my P.S. automatically. And please don't get sick of it... they're deployed for a year, so you're probably looking at a good year's worth of the same old P.S. But it's important to me, and to them and their families. *blech* The roommate's home. I'll go sulk now.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers

P.P.S. Computer geniuses (especially you, J and Dan) need to please read the post below this one!


My weekend: An essay a la 2nd grade... 

So this weekend has been interesting. Mayhem came over Friday so we could ride that always-fun emotional roller coaster. I guess it ended on a good note, though, because nobody hurt the other's feelings or yelled or anything. It sucks when you're both too busy and an hour away from each other, so it requires planning and strategy just to see each other once a week. Hopefully we can change that sometime in the next several years. This lifestyle is seriously wearing thin. And I was definitely disappointed to discover that living closer to each other again really just meant that we would talk on the phone less AND see each other less because our plates were already overflowing with other crap.

Then Saturday I woke up to a college/grad student's worst nightmare. My computer was even sicker than it normally is. Norton decided to jump ship and claimed that its security certificates had been tampered with and all kind of other stuff. Also, every time I open internet explorer it crashes. I learned from Mayhem (when I called in a panic and woke the poor boy) that this is a very bad sign because IE is an internal part of the Windows system and isn't just something that you can uninstall and reinstall. It also is a sign that some seriously important parts of the computer could be in trouble as well. I'm scared. My poor computer. It needs to last another year and a half to get me through grad school. Then I can deal with having to get a new computer, moving everything I need onto it, etc etc. If any of the wonderful computer-smart people I know have any advice or tricks up their sleeves (Dan, por ejemplo) I would really appreciate any advice/help you have to offer. And my sickly overworked computer thanks you as well. For now I am using Netscape and understanding the joys of non-compatibility problems.

After spending a couple hours dealing with computer issues, I then had to do some mad cleaning of the apartment. I'm the only one who does it, and that makes me a little bitter. I think my roommate thinks the place just magically cleans itself every once in a while. All this time was supposed to be spent on finishing up a research paper and getting groceries, neither of which happened by the time my mom got here. Oh yeah, my mom came to spend the night last night. Guess I could have let you know why I had such a deadline. She had a conference nearby, so she spent the night. I was hoping to be done with everything by the time she got here, but I had to stay up late last night to finish the paper after she went to bed. But we had a lot of fun... we ate dinner and then went to see a ballet. It was kind of humorous and we were far enough away that I placed my own impressions onto the ballerinas (what are the men called? ballerinos?) Like one guy reminded me of Owen Wilson, and a couple of the other guys reminded me of Mayhem when he's being silly. It was a good ballet (probably the only one I've been to), but we left at intermission b/c my mom was falling asleep. Poor mom, she got the full effect of all the stupid people in the complex that I put up with. The gorillas upstairs were thumping and pounding late into the night, and a group of people were yelling outside for several hours. Fun stuff. But I got my paper done and now have to tackle the other things that have to get done today. Hope this made a little sense to anybody else but me. Love you guys!
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Pet peeve of the day... 

Ok so there are two. The first will be brief. Why do some people refuse to be succinct when they can be? I say let's value brevity.

So now the annoying pet peeve about roommates and having to share a kitchen with a roommate. Why does one person need two open boxes of Cheerios (same kind)? Why buy 2 extra boxes of granola bars when you haven't eaten the ones you already have? Why buy more Crystal Light iced tea canisters when you a) haven't even tried it before, and b) already have one canister still unopened from your last trip to the store? Why continually stock up on ramen style noodles in the bulky kill-the-environment styrofoam when you refuse to eat the ones you already have? Why buy more Campbell's soup when you still haven't touched the stuff you got in the second month of 1st semester? And I could go on. Now if you are rich, frivolous, and have all the kitchen space your heart desires then be as extravagant and wasteful as you want (although you'll still piss me off for wasting food that others could use), but you CANNOT do that when you are sharing an already small kitchen and already limited kitchen space with a roommate. We do not share food. We do not stock up on food mutually. And we do not try to force some sense into her mess up little head despite the temptation because there are 6 more months on my damn lease. I only pray she doesn't extend hers to last through those last 3 months.

For a much nicer entry, look at the one below this. It's still recent and about the people I actually love.

Random thought of the day: How sacriligious would it be if they made a video game out of the Passion of Christ movie? Even the thought of it creeps me out.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.

P.P.S. Blogs like to be read, and authors like to have comments. (Just to clarify.)


Tuesday, February 24, 2004

The value of friendship... 

Today I would just like to reflect on the amazing value of friendship. My best friends are some of the most amazing people that you could ever meet. I have two best friends from high school and we've seen each other through everything. We are like the same person, yet different... like permutations on the same incredible formula. I know only God could have come up with people and a friendship like this, and we are the supremely grateful recipients of it and of each other. We are also lucky enough that our boys get along well and are supportive of our friendship. Speaking of the boy... I'm also so grateful for that friendship. And the best guy friend... Like I've said before, he's one of the most amazing men you'll ever meet and the type that everyone wishes could be their friend. I also have a best friend from undergrad. At times it's like we share a brain. Now I have another really close friend at grad school. She's one of our tight 7-pack... we just had a new girl enter our group (thus the 7-pack instead of a 6-pack... haha, we're accepting applications!). But anyway, we're always keeping in touch to give the latest updates on our lives and conferring about school work. It's these incredible friendships where I just can't get enough. And I love when the men (and woman) in our lives can recognize what a great thing we have and value our friendships, too. I think that says something about them and about the caliber of our friendships. Ok, I feel like this is just a big brag session on the incredible people I am blessed with on a daily basis, but I can't help it. I love you all so much! I just wanted you to know.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers. (We sincerely do appreciate all your loving thoughts.)


Sunday, February 22, 2004

Thought of the day... 

Just a quick thought (there is still a recent entry below this if you haven't read it).

You should never be loved despite some aspect of yourself, but rather because of it.


Friday, February 13, 2004

A tribute... 

To the luckiest man in the world.

No really. Maybe you remember me talking about him before. So I thought I'd brag about him in honor of Valentine's Day.

Well just look at that face. I mean, can you get any hotter than that? Hehehe. No, but really. We can be goofy together and have a great time just because we're with each other.

Also, even though he claims he can't cook, he always offers his services when he comes to visit on the weekend. And I'm sure he wouldn't want his family to find out, but he can cook well. And even though neither of us like to cook, it's fun to fix dinner together.

He also loves the fact that I want to spend my life helping people, even though I'll never get rich doing it.

I love how protected I feel when I'm wrapped in his arms.

I love how my head fits perfectly into the crook between his shoulder and neck.

I love how he makes me feel absolutely amazing, beautiful, special, and wonderful when I'm just being me. And how I can be drop-dead sexy to him even if I'm just wearing sweats, have no makeup on, and haven't brushed my hair or taken a shower yet.

I could go on and on, but I don't want to make people sick. I'll try to update about my life and the weekend sometime soon. Should be an interesting update. Happy V-day guys... I love you!

PS. Keep them in your prayers.


Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Sad news... 

So Friday/Saturday was hard. Right before I was supposed to go have fun with a friend who came in to visit me, I found out that my best guy friend shipped out to Iraq the next day. Nobody had heard anything from him pretty much since he returned to his base after the holidays, so we weren't sure when he was leaving. But then all of a sudden, the time was upon us. I instantaneously started to cry and worry about him. I know he wouldn't want me to worry, but I can't help it... I'm just that kind of person and he's my bestest guy friend. He's one of those rare people who everyone adores, and he's one of the all-around greatest guys I've ever met (probably second only to some family members and Mayhem). His fiancee is also in the military with him, so both of them are gone now. She was the one I met over Christmas break and was so happy about because she's so sweet and we get along wonderfully. In a way it's good that they have each other while they're there, but it's also a double risk if something happens.

I just wanted to fill you guys in and make a request. Please pray for the two of them and for their safe return. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you thinking about them, and I know that they would too.


Sunday, February 08, 2004

Quick plug 

Check these out: Bush in 30 Seconds Ad Campaign

For the uniformed, consider it an easy and entertaining way to get educated. For those who already know, then let's hope this makes a difference.


Friday, February 06, 2004

Don't be hatin' 

Ok, I don't get it. I feel a little defeated right now because it seems like everybody's been hating on me this week. Except one little boy I tutored. But I'll tell that success story momentarily. First, the laundry list: the psychotic woman at the grocery store, the receipt machine at the grocery, the jerk who took my parking space after watching me approach it, my car with its rebellion against giving the little chirpy honk when you lock and arm the security alarm, my car remote and its refusal to follow orders on the first button push, my phone and its resistance to deleting the voicemail alert so it wouldn't go off during class, my computer and the approximately 100 problems it causes on a daily basis (anybody want to take up a collection for getting me a new computer?!), and the psycho girlfriend of my friend who i've had to discuss on here earlier to get tips on how to handle her blind raging hatred of me.

I'm trying to break each of them down to a rational explanation so i don't develop that irrational "everybody's against me" kind of mentality. Maybe that psycho woman at the store was trying to make a joke and was never taught how. Maybe she had a terrible childhood and was always blamed for everything so that's the only thing she knows how to do. The receipt machine was screwed up long before I got there, and I know this. It mostly bothered me that random lady was actively blaming me for it. The jerk... well we're all selfish to some degree or another, and some are just way more selfish than others. My car was probably just having a bad day and needed me to stand in the freezing blustery weather a little longer to trouble shoot rather than hitting the little remote "lock" button a million times and trying to close my door once more. It has other issues that hopefully a certain sweet, loving, and helpful boyfriend will attend to when he visits me this weekend. If anybody is good at diagnosing strange car noises, please let me know. They come from the front of the car when it's cold outside and I haven't been able to spend 10 minutes heating the car before driving to work or class. The car remote will probably need new batteries sometime in the near future. If it just dies on me from a cause other than batteries, then I will demand that the dealership fixes it because I can't pay $350 for a new one and I got the remote used anyway. (I know it won't happen but at least I didn't just lie down and take the monetary abuse.) My phone is old... very old. And it has been a loyal subject of my extreme calling demands. Sure the battery is running low most of the time and the casing is beginning to crack away, and I'll most definitely have to get a new phone sometime soon, but we've had some good times. It's hard to be too mad at it... it keeps me connected to everyone in my life and stores all the phone numbers I have. Although it has its quirks, the newer generation of phones appear to have even more problems than this one. I'm dreading having to get a new phone because I have a list of requirements that a phone must meet and I don't know that any of the new ones will measure up. But we'll cross that bridge when it comes. Phoney, you've been pretty good to me. My computer is an elderly guy. I really think he tries his hardest, but the new fangled demands of the modern world are just too much for him to handle. And he's still running on 98SE because we fear major turmoil will erupt with changing over to XP on his fragile aged body. We pray that he holds out until graduation, upon which time we hope to receive the gift of a new computer. Stay in the game, little guy... I need you. Badly. Psycho girlfriend... When I first met her, I liked her. It was only after a little while, a series of hostile conversations, and the manipulation of my friends and my plans, that I realized I no longer cared for her. I realized around Christmastime why I suddenly started to cringe when I was around her or heard about her... she hates me and treats me like poo. At times it has been a simple hatred, possibly an insecure you've known my boyfriend for about 6 years longer than I have and he really respects you and that scares me kind of hatred. At other times it has been a more proactive sabotage-y kind of hatred. Like an I'll try the damsel in distress hoping of a knight in shining armor who happens to be YOUR boyfriend kind of sabotage, and the I'll just make up a lie about you and try to make everyone feel sorry for me and steal your closest guy friends who are blind to the irrationality and impossibility of the lie kind of hatred. Instead of feeling hurt and upset by her, I'm trying to make myself feel sorry for her that she's that desperate and insecure and lonely. But it's hard when people are that mean. I have turned the other cheek with her, but the only response was further hatred because it made her look bad. Luckily it is doubtful that I'll have to be around her any time soon, but she can still eat away at me. I think I'm going to take a long shower to wash her evil memories away.


Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Had a bad day... 

Had a bad day again
I said you would not understand
I left this note and said "I'm sorry, I had a bad day again."

So the word "intern" is really just a nice way of saying "masochist." I don't just work for free, but I actually pay to work. Now I can manage this because I like my internship... so far.

Today was Disaster Central, though. Then as I was halfway home I realized I had to go to the grocery to get milk. Couldn't find a parking space facing my direction, so I U-ied and headed for a space near the entrance in the opposite direction. Just as I got close, a car going the opposite direction saw he faced the same dilemma as me... but he also saw my spot. He stopped, looked at me, saw my pissed off face, and backed into MY space. I was pissed, but reversed, took a farther space, and then had to walk behind him and his girlfriend as I went into the store. And I restrained myself from saying something to him, even as I was gagging from seeing him walk around with his hand planted on his girlfriend's ass. I ran in, grabbed my milk, and headed for the shortest self-checkout line. I checked out only to find out that the paper in the machine was jammed and there was no way for them to override the receipt, so I had to stand around another 10 minutes while they fiddled with the receipt printer. Now I can be understanding with them, although it just further proves my point that self-checkout sucks and they should at least lower the price of the food they sell if we're checking ourselves out. Like I said, I can be understanding with mechanical malfunctions, BUT I do NOT have the patience to deal with the woman who was standing behind me in line. She started blaming it on me. Now let me add here that I hadn't even gotten to the point where I swipe the card and try to pay; therefore, I was not yet requiring any paper from said receipt printer. Yet she started blaming me. Said I screwed it up. Said that's what I got for being in a hurry. Asking what I had done to their machine. Grrrr! The only thing I can hope is that she does not have any children, and that she learns some rationality before she ever has children.

I finally get home only to find that the smell in the apartment from whatever my roommate fixed for dinner was bad enough that it nearly made me nauseous. Ugh. I sprayed a thick layer of room deodorizer, but it's starting to wear off. With all of that said, I'm going to fix myself some dinner and relax. If I can numb my brain for a little while, then hopefully I can come back and write my weekly log for last week. Leave some happy thoughts :)


The official stuff...

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