Sunday, December 28, 2003


Ever wonder what happens to people who just stop writing all of a sudden? I just came across an entry where the guy came home from a trip and the first thing on his mind was feeling guilty that he hadn't written in a couple days. The most important thing to him at that moment was to update his followers. That was in early 2002, and nothing since then. I wonder what suddenly changed in his life to make him stop writing.

I've been thinking a lot lately but writing very little. Ok, so nothing till now I guess. I found out that one of my guy friends' girlfriends apparently doesn't like me at all. She made up a lie about me and told my friend who then passed it along to another friend who told my boyfriend. I don't know if it hurt more that she made up the lie or that they acted as if they hadn't known me for 7 years and believed her blindly even though what I supposedly said was completely out of my character. At any rate, that kind of ruined my Christmas Eve and threatened to ruin my Christmas. I haven't seen them since so I still haven't been able to clear my name. That hurts too. But the 2 most important men in my world believed me at least. That made me feel a little better. I'm also curious why she would lie like that. People's actions are strange aren't they? I mean, jealousy, insecurity... there are a number of possibilities for why she could have done such a thing, but wouldn't she realize that it could easily backfire on her?

I just finished reading The Five People You Meet in Heaven and loved it. One of the main lessons in it was that we are all connected. While we all have our own stories and lives, they are all connected. By buying a lemon in a grocery store you are influencing hundreds of lives. By buying your son a baseball for his birthday you may be causing a friends' accidental death one day down the line. It's an intriguing concept... and a wonderful book.

If anybody actually reads this in time (which seems doubtful since I don't think anybody has recently) let me know what you think. Should I try to inform my friend of the truth and the fact that his girlfriend has lied about me? I realize he will probably believe her because he is in love, but if this is typical behavior it may create a small crack in the armor that will later make him realize that he was blinding himself to her true nature. Or confront her about it? I think this is the worst option because I can't do confrontation. Or give her an ornament and be the bigger woman, hoping that others take note of the action? Or try to tell her boyfriend and then show that I won't let it affect me by giving her an ornament? I think that's my preference because I can defend myself and lead by example. Let me know if you have an opinion.

I'll leave you (the devoted reader who made it all the way to the end of this) with a funny quote from last night. "No! Ice cubes will only slow me down!!" That would be me telling Mayhem not to add more ice cubes to the cherry coke that I was drinking down at a fast and furious pace last night. Lata!


Wednesday, December 24, 2003

A Very Important Christmas Message... 

So I have another thought to mention today. Lately I've been thinking about how much needs to be done to improve healthcare, homelessness, and the plight of those affected by AIDS around the world. I was also struck with the realization of how different our rich nation and the poorest nations truly are. Take for example what each values for Christmas. While children here in the US grumble at a nice new outfit given as a Christmas gift, children in other countries find it to be the best gift they have ever been given... and quite possibly the only gift that they will ever receive in their life. Christmas drives in other countries focus on food and clothing to keep children alive. Here we emphasize how incredibly important it is that every child receive a shiny new toy for Christmas. A toy. While I love shiny new things and technological advances and this cable internet connection that is allowing me to share this thought right now, I am still struck by how sad and shamefully different things can be within the same world. We are all living together in the same time, on the same world, with the same basic necessities, yet an outsider would never be able to tell. We are just so damn rich and they have n-o-t-h-i-n-g. While I don't want to ruin anybody's Christmas and I hope everyone has a fabulous time opening presents, I also hope that you feel especially grateful this year and say a little prayer for those whose Christmas day was no different than any other because they have nothing and got nothing. Feel thankful that you live in the richest country in the world. Feel thankful that you are not one of the thousands of homeless people whose needs are ignored in the richest country in the world. Feel thankful that you were not born in a poor country to a destitute family. Treat this Christmas as another Thanksgiving and count your blessings. These injustices are why I want to change the world. They are why I will make a difference. I only pray that I do. Merry Christmas to all. I love you.



My best guy friend was stationed in Germany with the Army for the past 3 (and maybe a little longer) years. He's also headed to Iraq after this 2 week leave. BUT... right now he's here!!!! He got in yesterday, and it was so freaking hard to not just literally bounce of the walls because that's how excited I was waiting for him. It was so great to see him again. Now I just have to get more stuff taken care of today so I can see him again tonight. I had stuff I was going to say, but since my mind is on other things like when I'm going to head out I should just end this here. Sorry if it was incoherent, but I am too right now!

P.S. Merry Christmas Eve!!!! I know I'll be having a happy one and I hope you do too! And in case I don't do another one on Christmas Day (a very likely possibility)... Merry Christmas!!! Hope you have a merry and blessed day! Love you guys :)


Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Vortexia's Secret 

So for right now at least, this is what my site shall be referred to. KT and I came up with it, and personally I love it. We're a little crazy, but all of my friends are. What would life be without the good crazy people anyway? Just realized I hung up on J about a half hour ago, so I better go apologize. I'll be back later.

Oh! but I must leave you with an important discovery that should be investigated further. Dove chocolate makes special little promise notes that are specialized for the holiday season. I think that's an invitation for all of us to buy a big bag of doves, sit in front of a good holiday movie, and be promised a whole new array of wonderful things for our lives. Really... I think I'll add that to my to do list. But first... talk to the boy.


Monday, December 15, 2003

The hip bone's connected to the thigh bone... 

Ugh, sometimes I wish body parts weren't so connected. Like right now I feel how intensely all parts of my head are connected. My sinuses are stopped up, giving me a headache, and making my upper teeth feel water logged. I apparently inherited my dad's extra long roots that extend into my sinus cavity. So when my sinuses are filled they put extra pressure on my upper teeth. Yuck. Then it also creates a very unpleasant sensation when I move my head backwards. And all of that makes my neck sore. yuckity yuck yuck yuck!!!!

Trying to think of a more positive note, though, I do love friends. Sometimes it's so crazy how similar you can be to some of your friends. Like my grad school buddy, K, and I are so similar! I camped out at her house for a couple days, and we watched TV for several hours. It was scary some of the things that we were both thinking. Like in Daredevil (one of the worst movies ever made), we were both thinking about what crappy little boy hair Ben Affleck had, and both thought it at the same moment. We also had some great lines, like "oh daddy, i really wish you just hadn't killed that girl!" Oh yeah, good ol' Lifetime. This was all like a week or so ago, so I can't remember many more of our lines, but it was good times. Except that we were both sick. Well her, then me, and still me. I'm pretty close to being over it thankfully. Just somebody please tell my sinuses that!!! Ok, off to convince somebody to feed me (I'm at my parents' house and I'm starving!). Lata gata.


Opinions please... 

So I just did a major overhaul on this site. I hope it looks prettier and you can post comments now, too. I want opinions on it though. Too much blue? Want more blue? Lemme know. And even though it took f-o-r-e-v-e-r to find the right colors and coding, etc. I will still take comments into consideration. Also if I linked you, yay! If I forgot you, let me know. Though chances are that none of you really know about my site anyway. And there seem to be several people out there who have copied me without even knowing it. Por ejemplo, KT, D... you decided to create a blog site without even realizing that you were following in my beautiful footprints. And as you notice, I protect the identities of the people I love, including myself, (even if it is very poorly), but I at least make some feeble attempt. That way at least you know who I'm talking about but total strangers don't. The thought of total strangers reading something along the lines of a journal still kind of creeps me out. and I also realize that if any of you do find my site you will now write some crazy comment about knowing everything about me or something insane. Hmmm, well I have an assignment for my family to complete, and it's due today so I better get on it. My Grandma's bday is coming up soon, and we're making a scrapbook for her. Yes, that's the Grandma with the famous ornaments. I'll write more soon. And hopefully my site isn't a b!tchfest as D called blogs on his blog. I really can't say I remember what I wrote other than some crap about my psychotic roommate. Meh, maybe I'll get around to reading my insight sometime. Till then...

Oh! p.s. crazy crazy crazy. JH has a child now! Why are we growing up?! I mean, all us home town kids know each other from middle and high school, so what in the world are we doing graduating college, in grad school, working real jobs, getting married, having children, etc. We're kids still, right? Oh wait... I guess we really aren't anymore. Just kids at heart (awww). Ok, now to really truly go for now.


Thursday, December 11, 2003

I hate everything about you! 

So that's the song on the radio right now, and it's oh so appropriate to describe my feelings for my roommate. I can't stand the girl. She is such a selfish little brat and is still used to being waited on hand and foot by the maids and servants her family supposedly used to have in her original country. They moved when she was 16, but she still has not gotten a good enough dose of reality to grow up. She only thinks about herself, has no concept of money, and is such a brat that I wish I could slap her. She is also so freaking sensitive that any simple statement can piss her off and result in her ensuing passive-aggressive shite and silent treatment fun.

I'm realizing now just how many frustrating people there are in the world. I started this entry several hours ago, but was distracted easily. Then I was talking to one of my best friends online about another frustrating person. This person was supposedly best friends with my friend, yet she's started talking about MF (short for my friend, not a dirty phrase) in various nasty ways on her IM profile. First it was b/c MF didn't appreciate the idiotic lyrics of a country singer and apparently called him insensitive. So she got all pissy and replied in her IM with love song lyrics that he wrote and several dirty comments about MF. Then the most recent thing was that she claimed how much she loved when people who don't keep in contact suddenly send a letter asking for money. She put this up a couple days ago, then today elaborated with all kinds of sarcastic crap about how her wallet would stay in her purse where it belonged. She completely failed to mention that it was a letter updating her on what MF's been up to lately, or that the money is for a very worthy cause. She also believes that Gandhi belongs in hell simply because he wasn't Christian... once again, completely ignoring the fact that he did more good than she could ever do in 5 lifetimes. But I digress... so she is now bitching about MF about asking for money to go to a 3rd world country to help the poor, starving people who are dying of disease and starvation every day. Omg, what a bitch. The nerve of some people. (Rolls eyes) Puh-lease! This girl makes me so sick. And she knows that MF isn't the type to just let loose and fight it out with her, so she totally takes advantage of it to make MF's life miserable. I kind of wonder if she's jealous. I mean, her whole goal in life appears to be to prove to the rest of the world that she's the best Christian ever. However, MF is actually seeing that change needs to be done, and is doing it. She's actually living the message and trying to do her part. She's even willing to turn the other cheek rather than retaliate at this bitch. She pointed out an interesting aspect of the whole turn the other cheek idea, too. You have to make eye contact with the person slapping you in the face in order to turn the other cheek. They have to look you in the eye. The guy who talked to her about this also said that God's grace is scandalous. What I made of this eye contact point is that they have to see the pain that they've already caused and that you're willing to open yourself up to even more pain. It's almost like turning the other cheek is really a cry to humanity. A cry out to the common good of our souls. So anyway, I'm going to try to build up the goodness of my heart and soul, and come to peace with the frustrations of my life. And feed my stomach. I'm hungry. I'm also feeling more at peace. That's a good feeling. TTFN...


Sunday, December 07, 2003

B-B-B-But I have so much to say! (Formerly California Dreamin'... of weirdness) 

So when I finally really had something good to write, the site was down. Suckiness. Never fear, I am a resourceful woman. i wrote it in an email to myself then saved it until i could post. yes, i'm a dork. forgive me. so i've been having weird dreams lately. like on friday night i dreamed that K and i were driving around in her new car, but she hated it becaue the gears only let you go up to 55 mph. it was an automatic, but instead of having D, then 3, 2, and 1 as the drive gear options, it just had 0-25, 25-40, 40-55, 55+. she was so pissed that she bought a car that could only go up to 55 mph. then the next thing i remember was popping up in the middle of my dream and yelling "there's a parking space!!," then realizing that i was dreaming but yelling in real life and slinking down under the covers in hopes that i didn't wake anybody up. bizarre. then tonight i had a dream where i was sitting at a big table with all my old friends from HS. the only ones i really remembered being there were j.n. and g.m. who now goes by her first name that i swear starts with an M but i can't remember it anymore. anyway, we were all sitting there and then g.m. and i were shopping with my mom at a dollar general type store. i think my uncle might have been there too. it was strange. anyway, my mom was really wanting to get my 17 year old cousin a pair of scissors for christmas. yes, scissors. i found a pair in one of the aisles so i rushed over to where they were sitting at a table in the middle of the store just wrapping their presents. how they planned on paying for them i dont' know. well i showed my mom the scissors and she was excited, so g.m. started to wrap them. but without a box or bag or anything it's a little tough, so she just left some extra room at the end for them because somehow that would keep people safe from gouging themselves. we're logical people in our dreams. then i woke up and realized that i had to get ready to go home today. and promptly started writing this instead of getting ready. sometimes we're logical people in real life too! at any rate, i'll post this whenever i get a chance and the site is back up. TTFN


Friday, December 05, 2003

Happy and sad thoughts... 

So i realized today that i won't get to go to a Christmas tradition at my alma mater this year. it's this sunday, and i thought i'd get to go b/c i had planned on being in town this weekend, but i can't stay with my friend and my brother has a shower on sunday. if i was going i would have had to leave today, but i have no place to stay and made plans for tonight. so i guess that's a no. *sigh* it's sad that i won't be able to be there. i'm gonna miss it. i think that was my favorite tradition. i also think i'm going to miss my december graduate friends' graduation. another sad thought.

Onto happier thoughts. i always think it's better to end on a better note if you have good and bad to say. i had a great idea last night and i think it's a go. actually i had 2 great ideas last night. i was an idea machine! well the first one i'm not sure if it'll happen or not, but i thought all of us (aka the guys + me) could go see a concert for new years eve. it's only about $15 a ticket after all the extra charges. so i was pumped about that. then the one i'm pretty sure will happen... our grad school gang is all hooked on average joe, so we're going to have a finale watching party. so i think we're all gonna get together and watch it together. then, those of us who also watch everwood can watch that afterward. i'm so pumped. i love my girls and this is gonna be such a blast!! ok, sharon's on so...


Thursday, December 04, 2003

The forbidden drink 

So i was realizing how strange it is that the law regulates what beverages we're allowed to drink purely based on an arbitrary age. now i have finally reached that age and am thankful that i have, especially since i always hang out with people older than myself, but it is still an odd concept. i mean, by the difference of one day, a 21 year old person is seen as being capable of handling an alcoholic beverage, but the 20 year and 364 day old person is still not allowed. it's such a strange idea. i think we're fixated on being allowed to drink things we aren't supposed to from a young age. i mean, parents are allowed to have their "adult drinks," you can only get the way-too-good-tasting cough medicine when you're sick, and you have some drinks you're supposed to have a lot of (milk) and others that are limited (cokes). it's odd. anyway, random idea of the day. my mind was mush, what can i say. and now for what really matters...

Ah yes, and in this truly anti-climactic moment, i remember the really important part of the day. I'M FINISHED WITH THE FIRST SEMESTER OF MY GRADUATE CAREER!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOO! :-D I GET A WHOLE MONTH TO RELAAAAAAAAAAAX! oh yeah that feels good. so gooood to relax. so i finished my take home final today in about 4 hours-ish. i took about an hour per question at first, then K and i went to lunch. when we went back to our final we decided to step it up a notch. so we finished the last 3 questions in an hour. that's right. one hour to take the last half of our test. we're bold, we're ballsy, and in all honesty... we are just that good. it feels so great to be free. we even dumped off our library books. no more. finito. the end. and now the end of this post. i'm going to blend into the couch as a big blob of warm fuzzy clothing with a cute girl buried inside.


The official stuff...

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