Tuesday, January 30, 2007


fuzzy brains.

well, this week is a little bit better than last week.

i still feel like i'm living the surreal life, though.

i hate the cold. more than the cold, i specifically hate the cold wind. i can handle the cold without wind much better than when it's windy and cold. that just makes me ache to the core.

i sound like an old woman.

so do you ever get past the point of feeling like you're living the surreal life? you make decisions, you decide what you're doing with your life, you wake up every morning and live it. yet it doesn't feel real most of the time. for example, if i stop and think about my life, it doesn't feel like it's mine. how did i graduate high school and college? how did i get to be this age? how did anybody trust a kid like me to do the job that i have?

i guess that's it... i still see myself as a kid. i have always been mature for my age, yet that made me very aware that i was younger in years than i was wise. so now i guess it's odd to realize that i'm growing into my wisdom, yet i am still aware that i'm young.

what are your tricks for getting a good night's sleep? one where you wake up feeling rested the next morning. drinking yourself to sleep doesn't count because then you just wake up relieved that you don't have a hangover. not so much a rested feeling. sleeping meds don't count either because then you just have medicated sleep. some people use herbal teas or warm milk. some use humidifiers or dehumidifiers. some use music machines to simulate crickets. some keep the room really cold or really warm. so what actually works? just curious since i've been waking up tired lately.


Wednesday, January 24, 2007


me too, jag, me too.

my whole week has been crap. can't do anything right. can't get enough done. people only notice what i haven't done, not all that i've accomplished. trash me behind my back. it PISSES ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so now i stew all night. i work on an ulcer thinking of all the things i'd say to defend myself if i got the chance. it just makes me so furious! i can't stand it.

i'd karate chop all their asses to smithereens and yell and scream and shoot back sassy retorts that stopped them in their tracks.

but it's so cruel when it's behind your back because you can't defend yourself. you can't counteract the ignorance. you can't make them see that they're just being bitchy and rash and haven't thought through the grand statements they make.

thinking all these thoughts in my head won't change those people. it'll just age me. so breathe in, breathe out, and release.......


Monday, January 22, 2007

Nickel's worth... 

i like eating nerds. i have a cute nightlight because it was a gift. i want to bake chocolate. i have to pee. i want to finish the post before i go pee. (see? told you prioritizing is not my strong point.)

skin care products can suck your wallet dry. you never quite know what what to use.

some days are bad enough that you just want to go to bed early.

i think i need to stretch and unwind.

do i want cheese, chocolate, candy, salad, or greasy sandwich? hmmm, tough decision.

what new CD are you currently rockin? i just got "the fray" cd and gotta say i love it.

better go figure out how to save a life...


Thursday, January 11, 2007

Fluffy stuff... 

snoochie boochies babies.

rock had a little bit of timely advice for me. he said i could be organized if i put my mind to it, and it was on the same day that i actually got some things done. i was so proud of myself.

i think i'm done with office politics.

i want to go buy a fun and flirty little party dress. then get a pretty necklace and sexy earrings. and killer heels.

that's it for now. bye loves!


Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Organizational failure... 

ok, what is up with these damn raccoons?! i felt my heart leap into my throat as i screeched on the brakes and assumed the death-grip on my steering wheel. nearly ran over another one tonight. guess that would have been a little better than running over one of those damn bikers i saw riding in the pitch black. i have one little side road i cut through when the traffic's bad going home, and it has no overhead lights. of course that has to be the road where a dumbass biker decides to ride. both crises averted. i killed nothing today.

i need advice here. i realize that i'm not asking the best crowd for this kind of information, but any tips will do. how do you manage your time? every year, my actual new years resolution is to manage my time better so i have more time for the "good stuff" (spending time with family, friends, relaxing, reading, growing as a person, working out, etc etc). and every year, i try. day after day. but every day i fail. so i try again the next day. fail again, try again. after so long, then i just forget it. don't touch my planner. don't make the to do lists. just work on my ulcer from trying to remember all that stuff i need to get done and never do. this year, i looked through a friend's "franklin covey method" to get the gist of it. i understand it, tried writing a bunch of stuff in my planner to practice with, and am back to my same old A for effort. everything i needed to do had to be deferred to the next day, then the next.

so i give up. i need an intervention. teach me. educate me.


Thursday, January 04, 2007

A thief in the night... 

i live in the middle of a big city. almost downtown. yet i nearly ran over a small family (3) of wild animals as i drove up to my home. how unusual is that?! there is one of those "downtown parks" close by, but could it really be harboring that much wildlife inside? it's not like you can really hide in it or anything. they may have a couple feet between them and the walking trail but that's about it. it's kind of sad to think that could be the closest they get to home sweet home.

i think i want to go read. has anybody noticed yet that i'm posting much more frequently now?


Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Holiday leftovers... 

Have you ever gotten a mass-emailed invite that you felt was not exactly meant to be sent to you? you can tell they just clicked send to all and away they typed. you're in their address book, but they really were just thinking of a predestined group of 20 or so of those 143 email addresses getting the email. it was easier to click one button rather than choose 20 emails, and they just assumed everybody else would self-eliminate themselves from the list of chosen ones (or they were too flaky to realize that the other people would get the email).

of course you know it has to be worse for people like professors or tech support guys. they're emailed frequently to consult for one reason or another, so inevitably their email address ends up in tons of address books. yet, who can they trust? did that cut coed really want them to come to their beauty and the geek watching party in their best beauty or geek getup? (had to plug my favorite little guilty pleasure. but more there later.) i mean, she did seem a little flirtatious when she turned in that midterm, and she always tries to speak up when she thinks she can say something intelligent. could it be??? yet... if this is all in the prof's head and he shows up in golf pants and suspenders because he was officially invited-yet-not-meant-to-be-invited, then he's the laughing stock of his students and peers.

another unrelated holiday dilemma. what are you supposed to do with those picture cards you're sent from random people. intuitively everybody begins to send out those pictures with the "happy holidays from the bensons" on the side the moment they produce offspring. yet, when you only have foggy memories of the bensons from about a decade ago (and you know they are only sending to you because they are too lazy to update their list), what do you do with it? it seems mildly offensive to just trash somebody's family portrait. perhaps in this age of identity theft, shredding it would be best so that shrewy lady who picks through your trash doesn't lift mrs. benson's face to create a fake ID to go with her stolen credit cards. keeping it is ludicrous, since you have no desire to flip through fond memories of the benson christmas cards "through the years" in montage format. so then what? i guess ultimately, to the trash it goes. seems important to choose carefully for these cards now, doesn't it? close family only next year.

p.s. i've been sick and am just not getting over it. i realized something. you don't realize that snot has an odor until you're almost through having the snot problem. works out kind of well. just about the time you could really get grossed out by it, you're over the problem.


Tuesday, January 02, 2007

I have a very important announcement... 

i have a new aspiration in life. the pinnacle of kick ass job titles. a job that everybody wants, but nobody can say with a straight face.

confetti dispersal engineer.

yes! we flipped to the new years spectacle at times square to mark our countdown, and i saw the job title of one of the women they interviewed. she was a confetti dispersal engineer. you really can't get much better than that. great job title. you're an engineer, so you have to be paid well. you work for about 10 minutes a year. you go to one of the biggest parties of the year, every year. how has this occupation escaped me before?!?

so, that's a good start for my new year's resolutions. i would like to become a confetti dispersal engineer forthwith (aka, within this year). no sense putting off such important tasks. after which, i would like to focus my 007 on cuddling puppies, snuggling mayhems, cooking the good stuff, eating the best stuff, fluffin the stuffin and making other such frivolous rhymes, making forts under the blankets, reading literary masterpieces, rocking out, stylin, and world traveling.

what are your resolutions for the new year?


The official stuff...

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