Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Free day... 

well, almost. ok, i have to keep this quick because i have to pack still. my entire schedule was wiped out today practically. it was actually a great thing because as i was walking out the door i decided i should grab that take home exam to work on just in case i had a spare moment. i thought i had remembered that i would have maybe an hour free, so i decided i could be productive. well thank goodness i did! after working on it for 6 hours or so, i had only made a small dent in it. i have promised myself that i won't kill my prof, but i was definitely tempted.

on my way home i ran by the store to get a few things for the trip tomorrow. one item was a PM pain med in hopes that taking a half dosage would make me feel kind of copacetic for the trip. so i get it home and read the label to see if i have to cut a pill or take one for a half dose. happened to notice the expiration date... it was june 2004. that's just great. bought brand new stuff and it's already nearly 4 months past the expiration. i hope they know that isn't legal or sanitary or something. i considered taking it back, but it would have been such a pain in the ass because i got it at a store that's off an extremely busy street and it took a good 10 minutes to get out. i figure they probably put a cushion on the expiration date for at least a few months, so i think i'm probably safe.

anyway, now i'm packing, studying this exam to decide if i need sleep or progress more, and thinking that if i have to get up early to take the trash all the way to the dumpster (i missed curbside pickup- running late this morning) and haul luggage to the car then the sleep will prevail.

sometimes i really wish i could reveal some things about my supervisor here. she's a riot. she's in control and manages chaos well, but sometimes she makes you cringe a little that one of the balls she's juggling is going to get dropped. then she also will say something on occasion that makes you do a double take. like something about sexual hygiene or something totally random. it's great, but i think it would be a violation of trust if i shared it. so at any rate...

i think this will be it, mi bebes. i wake up, go to work, drive all the way to my parents' house straight from work during the middle of rush hour (not a quick drive by any means), run in, change out of anything that could contain metal, dump luggage from one trunk to the other, and run to the airport. no biggie. not at all. so there will be no post tomorrow, and probably not at all this weekend. why? because i'll be having more fun than you! hahahah. oh but it's true. i may have to pack a camera just for a little photo documentation. i know somebody will be up for some incriminating photography. more of it, that is! muahaha. ok, time to go! adios y besitos!


Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Quick recap of a crappy day... 

ok, so this was definitely a shitty kind of day. i figure it'll be ok, but then it just got progressively worse. i got almost no sleep last night, like just a couple hours probably and finally realized that for some reason i had a scene going through my head where some guy tried to attack me while i was sleeping. once i finally realized that and let it go i think that's when i fell asleep. i have to stop having those weird dreams about creepy people. it's really just a rare occasion, but i guess i just notice when it does happen. anyway...

so i woke up completely exhausted. half-assed dressed and groomed myself so i could spare another 10 minutes after i ate breakfast for a mini-nap. then it was off to class. apparently i wasn't the only one lacking motivation because about half the class was missing. we had to do an exercise in trust today that made everyone edgy. then at lunch the same friend that frustrated me last week did it again this week. she talked incessantly the entire time, but asked me twice if there was something wrong because i was so quiet. she's perceptive of the symptom but not of the problem, i guess, which is better than nothing. i started thinking that maybe it was just because she never sees us anymore and so she tries to get out everything that she normally tells us in the course of a week. but i just wish she didn't monopolize the conversation and would be more considerate of checking on our lives as well. she won't get over the feeling that she's missing on our personal lives if she doesn't give us a chance to catch her up to speed. oh well, i know it's certainly not intentional.

so then the middle class. we were supposed to do a simple class assignment and then base our midterm exam off it. well, the blank format for the midterm is 9 pages, and the "simple" assignment was sooooooo much more involved than any of us could have even begun to imagine. hi, i'm packing for a trip tomorrow and flying out right after work the next day so that doesn't work so well for me. let me suggest something much simpler like one sentence responses or something, k? thanks.

and then, we hit rock bottom with the night class. another exam. supposed to be easy, open book, open note, multiple choice even. oh yes, but nothing's ever easy with this prof. he has major issues with the lights. so we finally get the exam, are supposed to take it and hand it in when we're done and that should be it. but no. turns out the questions are from obscure sentences out of the book, some of which are in chapters that we are never supposed to cover according to the syllabus. my neck was killing me after the first hour from craning over this 30 pound book and searching for these magical sentences that would make the exam be over. finally, i go to turn it in and discover that we now have to sit with the prof and grade the test right then and there. no being home free. erg. frustrating to say the least.

so that was my lovely day. and apparently benadryl no longer affects me the way it used to. since me no likey to fly i figured i'd see how groggy i was with half a benadryl, since it used to knock me on my ass. tried that the other night and never felt a thing. ok, so i was young when that happened... maybe i need a whole one now. took it 2 hours ago and am stil as awake as i was then. ok, guess it doesn't work on me the same way period. fabulous. thinking about it, a lot of things don't really seem to affect me the way they're supposed to: benadryl isn't making me sleepy, advil takes 2 hours before it starts to help my headaches, and alcohol doesn't make near the impact that it should based on my body mass. odd. i wonder how much they'd pay me to study this lack of effect. hmmm... but maybe i don't want the answers. i'm fine with my body just the way it is and probably wouldn't like them tinkering with it. well, on with life and into bed... hopefully more than 2 hours await me tonight...


Monday, September 27, 2004

Fix ups... 

blah. we tried to fix my ceiling fan today and it didn't work so well. we couldn't even get the screws in right so i had to put them back upside down. i'm worried that i might have to call in the maintenance guy and just bite the bullet for the guy standing on my bed. i really don't want to do that! hopefully we can make a trip to home depot to get some advice and we can find a step ladder or something. anyway, it's a work in progress.

we also spent several hours upgrading the computer... XP Pro, norton, etc etc. and i am waiting on some laundry so i can make the bed and go to sleep. sadly i have an extensive to-do list, but at least today made a little dent in it. hey, does anybody happen to know how to make roman shades? when i was randomly wanting to make curtains because, well, i need something and it would be cheaper to make than purchase, i looked at some roman shades and they looked cute. so i'm just curious if any of you know how to make them. my guess is no, but ya never know.

ok, well i need to finish working on preparing for a test. i don't think i'll do anything else on the to do list tonight since i have a long week ahead of me. i do need to make a call for this weekend, and will probably do it tomorrow... if you're that person, keep me honest. if i've gotten side tracked and you haven't heard from me by 9:30, feel free to make the call yourself. i'm in class until 9, but the plan is to call on the way home. as long as my brain is still working by that time. ok, enough of that. test prep time. have a great night everyone! muah!!


Naked josh... 

oh yes, i nearly forgot...

last night i talked briefly to mayhem, and he asked what i was doing. i replied "watching naked josh." there was a long pause and he didn't respond. i asked if that bothered him and he asked what i meant. i decided to mess with him, so i said that the old friend from college had gotten online and started to talk to me.

(a little backstory: josh was a guy from college who was a good friend until he professed his love for me. mayhem had trusted him and was not entirely happy when he found out that this guy was now in love with me and hoping i would say the same and ditch mayhem. he ended up going through some serious mental stuff and not returning to college, but he's still not one of mayhem's favorite people. the other piece of the backstory is that mayhem is incredibly trusting and very rarely gets jealous. well, he has extraordinary trust in me at least, so he almost never gets jealous because he knows i'm trustworthy.)

so anyway... he asks where i'm watching naked josh, and i said that he was on my screen. there are many long pauses and over time i finally ask if he's upset. he says no, that he trusts me. oddly, though, he still hasn't asked what's really happening. he knows that there's some missing piece that will reveal what is really going on, but he never asks for it. so i'll be curious if he comes over today to see if he says anything about it. for those of you who are still confused or are thinking that i'm a horrible girlfriend, naked josh is a show about an anthropology prof who studies sex. definitely a job i would love. the name just happened to cause confusion.


The good, the bad, and the oh so funny... 

ok, so i promised that i would share 2 things in particular that happened this weekend. one happened at the concert, and the other occurred at the IHOP afterward.

at the concert i saw a couple "dancing" who were BY FAR the worst attempt at dancing that i have ever seen in my life. i can't even call it dancing because it was so bad. it made that chick from seinfeld look like she should win a dance contest. i'm guessing that almost all of you know what a dog looks like when he's going to town with an object of some kind, quite possibly your leg. that dog has more moves and more rhythm that that man ever did. his dancing loosely resembled a dog humping a leg, but without the coordination or attention to his partner's comfort. he seemed to have spontaneous muscle spasms in the groin area and really seemed to think that he could penetrate right through his partner's thigh. toward the end of the song i turned away because i was worried that i would see him orgasm right there on the dance floor. the last thing i wanted to see was his "o-face" and his final moves. i wish i could describe this more accurately, but there is just no way to describe what i saw. sadly it is seared into my brain and has scarred me at least temporarily. the only closest approximation that i can think of to describe him would be a dog humping a leg but without any natural kind of rhythm to the moves and with more hip swiveling and facial contortions. it was bad, people. so very bad.

that was the bad, and now onto the funny. we arrived at IHOP around 3am or so. i was craving scrambled eggs with cheese like nothing else, and IHOP is an after-concert tradition. of course at 3am there are quite a few drunk people there, and we were seated next to the drunkest of the drunk. at the table were 2 guys and a girl who found everything hilarious and who spoke very loudly. there were several times when the guy sitting directly across from me got up and sat down next to me, scooching closer and closer until he was right up on me. he pretended to be an MTV reporter and then dr. phil. then he asked mayhem if they were embarrassing him or not; they weren't because we were cracking up. he also said that it would cost $500 to get a piece of the action with him, although he was telling his friend's girlfriend that. at one point a waitress had to tell them to settle down, but for the most part the staff was very tolerant of them. they were happy funny drunks, so they probably figured it was better than the alternative. this is obviously a frequent stop for them after they're done at the bars because they recognized another waitress and thanked her once again for the wonderful service she gave the last time they were there and had her. they also told their waiter that he was their boy. they provided a great deal of entertainment for that meal.

i also said i would report "the good" so let's see here. the scrambled eggs were excellent. sometimes they are too greasy and kind of gross, but this time they were amazing. another good is that mayhem may try to stop by tonight. he was supposed to stop by yesterday, but he had to bail. i think i'm going to do some laundry, unpack from this weekend and start packing for next weekend, and do a little preparation for a test i have tomorrow. weeee.


Sunday, September 26, 2004

I suck, please help me... 

i need better titles for the SSDD stuff. i call it updates but i have to have more interesting titles. if anybody cares to suggest better titles, then please share them in the comment section.


Ideas and updates... 

there's so much i want to do with this place, and yet so little that will probably ever happen. money is an object, a big one, and so are time, energy, and motivation. lately i'm loving warm earthy tones for paint, but obviously i can't paint the apartment. so that kind of stinks. but i'm kind of happy with the color... it's an off white color with white on the trim. so it looks put together. unfortunately i don't have the money to put together all the stuff of my dreams. i'd have roman blinds or something nice like that, mirrors over the fireplace, candles in the fireplace, a wall of fabulous black and whites, a room with japanese influences, and a few other things. new futon covers would be great to pull the hand-me-down furniture into what i'm working with. blah, anyway this is just ramblings. i noticed that while i was at my parents' house i was very motivated. i wanted to finish unpacking, finish the table project, make roman blinds myself, hang all the decorations, and all kinds of stuff. but of course as soon as i got home i decided that i was no longer interested in it because i was free and on my own schedule again. plus i had nobody to escape from when i was by myself. oh how i love my apartment!

ok, so more updating. i have fallen in love with a coffee house near my parents' house and am getting addicted. they have an incredible sweet-but-not-too-sweet coffee that is just so good. i have started to crave it whenever i go home. i need to find a good place near my own place. but more importantly... i got to go to the concert last night. unfortunately we didn't get to do all the pre-concert stuff because we were waiting forever for the best guy friend to get his butt back. we waited as long as humanly possible, and finally just had to go without them. turns out it was good we did because they changed their minds and didn't show up at all. after the concert we dropped by to say goodbye to them, and then did the usual after-concert IHOP run. two very important events that happened that night deserve their own entry, which will come very very soon. but onto today before i go back to those things.

went to lunch with a couple great friends. it was a feat of great proportions to actually get all of us together in time for lunchtime, but we pulled it off. it was pretty comical... multiple messages in various combinations, discovering that all kinds of numbers i used to have no longer were valid ones to track people down, and the choice of restaurants... at one point we considered stopping by a gas station and microwaving some burritos. although we are all low-maintenance women, we decided that might be just a tad too low maintenance and stepped it up to sandwiches. it was great to get together again. i had fun girls!!

i'll be back soon with the great details of that fateful night. you'll understand once i share. but first, i'm going to drink something good. like green tea or coffee or something. i'm a drink junkie. i think some drinks can taste better and comfort more than some foods. of course i love both. let's all say yay for our tastebuds! hahaha


Saturday, September 25, 2004

Last night... 

ok, quick recap because i'm back at the parents' house. sheesh i've been doing a lot of traveling this month!

but anyway... last night i went out to celebrate a grad friend's birthday. it was an interesting crowd because i'd heard about her other friends for about a year and hadn't met any of them yet. so when her b-day rolled around she decided to follow suit and do what i had done for my birthday-- invite everyone you know to come have a good time. it always makes an interesting dynamic, but it was great. and now i have faces to the names i hear. after dinner we went to a bar that was just down the street. but the lead car claimed to know a shortcut that would bypass all the lights, so we all followed. it was THE most round about way i have ever been to a place that's 5 minutes down the road. i am so serious. we took a freeway, did 2 u-turns into traffic, visited 4 parking lots, got separated 3 times, and took 4 or 5 different streets. if we ever do a repeat performance, i'll just look up directions ahead of time and say we'll just meet them there. but at any rate it was fun.

downside was that mayhem turned into an ass that night. thankfully he was fine with other people and seemed to be having a good time making conversation and all with the others. i absolutely hate when he's an ass in front of people we've just met and they all wonder why i love a guy like that. so at least he didn't do that yesterday, but he did frustrate the living daylights out of me when we weren't with the crowd. he has promised to not do it again, so we shall see. he has a bad short-term memory for things like that.

we toyed with the idea of going to the fair this morning, but that obviously fell through. now that i'm out and about, i really wish we had because it is a gorgeous day. i have to find something to do outside today. and it's one of those days where you get up in the morning, take a shower, and you feel so completely refreshed and the day matches that it feels like heaven. i can't even try to describe why it feels so amazing, but if you've ever felt it then you know. so i'm going to soak that up as long as possible. tonight is goodbye to the best guy friend and seeing a concert night. it should be fun, but also very sad. so there ya go. gotta run! kisses!


Friday, September 24, 2004


so apparently the big thing now is to name your iPod. i don't have one, but i figure i better stake my claim to the name i will you should i ever be lucky enough to own an iPod. if i ever get an iPod, i shall name him iPodThai. not only will he appeal to a multicultural audience, but he will also be delicious.



last night i was interrupted in the middle of a dream by a phone call. i had just fallen asleep and was in that first-deep-sleep-because-you're-dog-tired-dream. from what i can remember there were several guys lined up and i was judging something. i remember saying "good job, mark. creative use of color" and then the phone rang. i have no idea what i was judging, but i'm guessing they must have created artwork or something for me. anyway...

this morning i woke up early, but decided that i would preemptively sleep late in preparation for this weekend. somehow it's always harder when you're already awake, but i managed. i don't know where i'm going with this. so anyway, i guess that's about all the updatage there is from last night to this morning. but you know i'll be back...


Thursday, September 23, 2004

What the heck? 

ok, i just have to figure out this little enigma that has eluded me for quite some time. why do people like patricia heaton? why do they like her character on "everybody loves raymond"? why do they like her as a person, and why in the WORLD do they have undying respect for her as a mother?! i just cannot wrap my mind around it. don't get me wrong, i think all the characters on that show are fucked up (seriously that's the best way to explain that whole dysfunction), but people praise her character as the good parent, the grounded one, and whatever else. that's just messed up.


Quick question... 

ok, i have a quick question....

have any of you ever wondered how many people fantasize about you? i started wondering about that on my way home today. i wonder if anybody i know fantasizes about me. i wonder if strangers who have seen me once have fantasized about me, or people who haven't even seen me but know me on the blog fantasize about me. i wonder why i'm even curious. i wonder if it's something that i want to know or would regret knowing once i did.

ok, just something i was wondering about tonight. that's about it. feel free to comment about any or nothing of the above.


Honky honky... 

today was an ok kind of day. nothing stellar, nothing horrid. i had a lot of paperwork to do, but luckily i got a spare moment at the end of the day to take care of it all. i also did a pretty weak attempt at decorating my office. it's never something that i've really thought about. i mean, usually you have a desk, a chair, and maybe another chair in case somebody comes into your office, and possibly a small bookshelf so that you can look smart. where i work, though, everybody decorates. some people have even bought furniture. i'm definitely not doing that because i'm only there a year and i don't get paid, but i feel like i have to do something. i found a few cheap things at target a week or so back, so i decided to use them. so like i said, it's a weak attempt but better than nothing.

i'm waiting to hear from mayhem so we can hopefully stir up some fun. debauchery anyone? oh! and i got a replacement washer for the one that was rusted. it seems to work fine, so i will be looking forward to finally washing some clothes. rest assured, i have done laundry recently, but it will be nice to not have to haul it somewhere.

oh yes, one final bit of information. although i was proud of the citizens of the city where i work for not honking at me as i walked the short distance from the parking lot to the front door, andy was worried about it and questioning my sexiness for it. considering it's only about 200 yards and i have to dress conservatively to not get hit on at work, i was not surprised. but he can now rest easy because some car honked at me as i was walking to my car today after work.

and now, it's time for food...


Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Cute boys... 

boys can be so cute. just thought i'd share.

there really was nothing in particular that brought about this little point. i just happened to think of mayhem just now and had to smile. i thought of how much i love walking up to him and giving him a great big hug. ok, i'll keep the rest of my sickeningly cute thoughts to myself.

in other news, i got candlewax all over the place just now. i blew out the candle and i couple minutes later picked it up to put it back by my bed. the light was off in my bedroom, but i could see the outline of my bedside table. as i was zeroing in on the table, the base fell off the candle. it's glass so i tried to catch it before it shattered against the table, but in the meantime i forgot to hold the candle level and the wax got everywhere. i can't remember anything else because of the intense pain from my hands burning. at least i did something semi-smart... i dropped the candle on the tile so i wouldn't have any more clean up and then ran to the kitchen sink and ran cold water on my hands. now i have a great deal of clean up to do on my pillow and sheets and carpet. the bed will have to be cleaned before i can sleep tonight, so i better go...



why is today wonderful? because it is the birthday of one of my bestest friends MORGAN!!! yay for one of the greatest people i know being brought into this world :) we all celebrate today because of her! love ya mo!

as for the work day... i smiled whenever i wrote 9/22 today because i knew it was morg's birthday. other than that, it was crazy busy and i only had about 15 minutes in which to breathe because one of my things got dropped at the last minute. i had a working lunch, was racing all around the building, and was just going nonstop. at the end of the day, more drama hit, and i was given the extra bonus kick in the pants when i found out that i would get to deal with it from now on. oh yay. basically, my supervisor was itching to unload it on somebody, and a "learning experience" for an intern is the perfect excuse. yippee.

ok, well i have to run and feed myself, but that's the update. i don't know yet what i'm doing this weekend because i haven't been able to reach anyone to confirm yet. tomorrow night is up in the air, but i think friday i'm doing a birthday thing with another friend and her crew, and then saturday i think i might be seeing a totally bad ass concert with mayhem and the best guy friend and probably his new wife. so cross your fingers... if it all works out, this has the potential to be a great weekend!


Tuesday, September 21, 2004

My prince... 

i almost forgot...

i either have a new secret admirer, a new pet, or a prince waiting to be kissed. i'm not sure which, but i'll keep looking into it.

there have been a few days lately when i've come home to a cute little froggy on my front doorstep. he usually jumps into the little ground coverage next to my door when i walk up, but tonight he just stayed there and looked up at me. since i have no idea what to do with a frog and don't really think i should keep him as a pet since he may be eating all the mosquitoes by my apartment, i just gently nudged him away. he's so cute, and seems very loyal to me, but i like him eating all my mosquitoes. it's really a cute scene with my little frog and royal blue dragonflies in lush green foliage.

ok, that was about it. i just thought it was cute. if anybody wants to kiss my little froggy and see if he turns into a prince, i might be able to arrange it. but if he's a keeper, then i reserve the right to keep him as my own since he was mine in the beginning! ok, i'm out. work tomorrow and i have to act like i know what i'm doing. hasta manana...


Bits 'n' pieces of information... 

There's too much to do and too little time in which to get everything done. so i'm having a dilemma. i've been trying to get things done during my spare time (like during boring lectures that are irrelevant to me), but there's only so much you can do then. i'm about 15 pages from finishing a book, need to mark up a book for an exam next week, need to find a b-day gift, call people, watch something i recorded tonight, finish up the apartment unpacking, etc etc. i know, take a deep breath. ....... there, i feel a little better.

so i'll deal with that stuff on my own. back to the regularly scheduled program... i have to say that i'm shocked to come back tonight and discover that nobody commented on my crazy weekend. i'm a little disappointed.

as for today, i nearly offered to exchange a date for a parking spot earlier today. the lot was full and i had to find a place fairly soon so i could be tortured for another 3 hours of my life; however, there were no parking spaces to be found anywhere. i saw a guy walking toward a car and was about to say that i'd go out with him if he moved his car and gave me his parking space. i figured it was a fairly safe plan because i could take his space and get into the building while he was driving around searching for a parking space. at that point i'd be nowhere to be found. but i figured mayhem probably had higher standards than that and would not see a parking space as a worthy enough reason for me to date another man. i then considered offering one of my single friends but knew that she was worthy of better and was a good enough friend that i'd rather keep her and not find a parking space.

as for the rest of the day... i got a little frustrated with one of my friends when she seemed to dismiss everything i said and change the subject back to either herself or something that another friend was doing that was of personal interest to her professional development. i'm sure that she didn't mean to do that, but it was just really frustrating me. plus there had been some big stuff going on in my own life that she had no idea about because she hasn't been there for the past 2 weeks. i wanted to share it with her so she wouldn't feel left out (because she tends to when she finds out that we haven't told her something big that everyone else knows because the rest of us have classes together that she isn't in with us), but she never gave me the chance. she butted in before i ever got to finish anything. so oh well. things were better by that night, but i figure if she wants to know what has been happening in my life then she can ask for a rundown of what she's missed.

classes were even more boring and pointless than usual today. i generally have one really interesting class, and the other 2 just get on my nerves... but today the prof was gone for the good class and we had a frustrating speaker. so i felt like the whole day was a waste. just putting in my time. oh well. that's how things go sometimes.

tomorrow will be jam packed. i think i have an hour free for the entire week of work. and in that time i have to do that back logged paperwork. and sadly, that free hour isn't at the end of the week so i'll be all caught up. it's mid day tomorrow, leaving the rest of the time to pile up again. *sigh* oh well. enough of this. i know it'll work out. adios until tomorrow!


Monday, September 20, 2004

Couple other things... 

just got an electric bill for the apartment, and i have to say it was quite a shocker. i try to keep the temperature quite reasonable, and i'll jack up the thermostat while i'm gone to avoid unnecessarily high bills for the air conditioning. plus i have a friend who uses the same electric company and she said her bill dropped with them versus her other provider. so i can tell you it was quite a shock to see that my bill jumped $20 from what i used to pay at the old apartment with the old company. yikes! i tried to figure out what it is, and can only conclude that it is a lack of insulation in the new apartment. i haven't left on lights that i didn't need, haven't left on computers overnight or when i went out of town, haven't kept the apartment chilly, or anything else that would make sense. and this apartment actually has ceiling fans to help keep the place cooler with less AC. so unless they are secret electricity drainers, then i can only conclude that the insulation in the apartment is very minimal. guess i'll have to wear less clothing and just suck it up. either that or get used to painful bills every month.

one other thing... on the news just now i saw a little 10 second piece on some chick who made a perfect score on the SATs and has a perfect GPA. ok, big deal. i graduated with 2 people who had perfect SAT scores, had perfect GPAs, and who even started dating (or so rumor had it) at the end of their senior year. did that make news across the country? heck no. there was a little piece in the local newspaper (one that later went bankrupt) but i can guarantee that nobody in that little girl's state ever heard about them. i don't want to sound bitter, but i just don't get why we should have heard about that girl when they didn't even share the story about their own local geniuses on the local TV news. ok, that was it, so whatever. i just found it strange, that's all.


Days like this... 

this has been quite a day. i actually felt a little nostalgic as i left my parents' house. i think it was something about leaving an empty house and having nobody say goodbye or hug me. i felt a little better when i got back and was running around. i guess the productivity pushed the feelings away. then i also laughed when i read the funny comments that you all left, and i had fun reminiscing on the weekend. and mayhem stopped by as a special favor because i missed him like crazy. even though i got to see him this weekend, it was only for one evening and with all the guys. i think the most extensive conversation we had was the next morning when he told me to let him know when i felt ok enough to make the drive home. that's pretty sad. i love hanging with the guys, but i have that one guy in particular because he's the one i love spending time with the most.

so anyway, we got to spend a little time together today, and it was amazing. it's always great to spend time together. however, after he left i happen to read something a friend wrote about missing her support base. i realize that sometimes i miss mine, too, but the problem is that i don't really know where to find mine. i mean, i have plenty of friends, and i love all of them dearly. but when i'm feeling lonely i don't really have a place to go where i can find everyone i love. they're all scattered across the world. some are in the same state but beyond easy visiting distance, others are in other states, and some are across the world in another country. a few are in the same city as me and i'm thankful for that. sadly, life gets so busy for all of us that it can be difficult to find the time to get together.

well enough of that... hope you all have a great night. love ya!


Quick 'n' dirty... 

i gotta keep this fast. first, something funny: i just heard one of the news people say "CBS snooze" instead of CBS news. haha.

ok, so i didn't write yesterday like i said i would. i apologize. i was sick all yesterday, so i wasn't up to posting anything. but i'm better now, am back at my place, and have gotten enough stuff done to take a really fast blogging break. so here goes...

saturday afternoon i was introduced to an excellent coffeehouse and drank a white chocolate mocha to my heart's content. oh man was that sucker good! but i digress... after that i left to hang with the boys. i went to mayhem's place so he could drive us around the rest of the day. on our drive i took lots of random pictures for a project he had. he was supposed to take pictures of things that resembled letters of the alphabet. i figured it would be a fun project that we could do together, but he wasn't as into it. so i started taking pictures and joking about pictures that he could take if they weren't too risque. once he started seeing all the possibilities in things around us, he got into it a little more, too.

turns out the marriage celebration (sort of a reception i guess) was delayed quite a bit. it was ok, though, because we hung out anyway. my best guy friends' cousins were being naughty, though. i wore a skirt in case it was a dressier occasion than others, and those 2 boys were sitting on the couch directly across from me. every time that i looked over there, they were either staring up my skirt or at my boobs. seriously guys, you have no chance. so just go talk about the high school girls you think are in your league. dirty dirty boys. oh, and one of them thought he was just soooo badass. he would call various friends and talk to them on the speaker phone of his cell. i guess so i could hear how cool he sounded? i was trying to keep from laughing. seriously.

just before the food was served i headed out with the boys to pick up the alcohol for our evening festivities. little did i realize how long it took men to make some simple decisions. i mean, come on... vodka, rum, tequila, beer, and mixers (they already had some jack). it's not that hard. but they decided to mix things up this time and make it hard on everyone involved. so we got a mudslide mixer, rum in case the mix was too weak (it was a liquor inside type), coconut rum for cokes, and a case of beer. i was secretly wondering what happened to my boys and why they started drinking such feminine drinks. i mean, when we left for the place they were talking about straight up liquor and beers, nothing girly unless i bought something separate for myself. i don't know what happened. and it pissed off everyone at the party because we left right as it was about to kick into high gear. let me give you boys a tip: never leave your brand new wife at your own reception for over an hour in order to get alcohol for an after-party that she isn't going to. trust me, it isn't pretty.

(oh, random... the look on those cousins' faces when i walked out with all the boys and left them mid-conversation was absolutely priceless. pure envy, damning themselves for being too young.)

ok, so we get back to the reception, i try to gauge the level of hurt that we caused and tried to lie low because i know we shouldn't have done that. a little while later we left for good, and my best guy friend hung around until the original party was over. he was also hoping to get a little time in with his wife because he realized they had less than 2 weeks to be a married couple together before they would be separated again for over half a year. talk about a rough life. i really feel for them. she's an incredible woman. while she wants them to be together, she also understands that he needs to spend plenty of time with his friends as well because our contact is even more limited then theirs. so they had a little while together and with the family before he left to hang with us.

we had a cook out going, and the boys were playing a dirty videogame. i was outside helping with the barbeque and catching up with some of the boys i rarely see anymore. some of them aren't very good about keeping in touch. when i got back inside, i saw what the game was all about. it used the premise of presidents & assholes with a trivia game. it has video clips of girls answering questions, and if they get them wrong, then the girls have to flash their boobs. at the beginning it's censored, and they work together on bonus questions to work up to uncensored views of the boobies. it was a strange experience watching them play, but it was also funny. one of the guys was really uptight about it all and was yelling. others were just laughing about it. and i had to say that i found it pretty damn funny, especially considering that i was helping them with the answers so that they could see boobies. why? i have no idea. but i guess that's why i'm allowed to hang with the guys. and yes, i was the ONLY girl there with like 6 or 7 guys. they played and we all drank until about 6am. at one point, we were discussing one of the guys' soberness. we had him walking and line and doing all kinds of stuff, and i tried it and walked a flawless line. i dubbed myself the queen of alcohol at that point. even though they play it cool, every single one of them has a great amount of respect for me. it comes out every once in a while, and i appreciate it for what it really is.

anyway, about 6am i decided that i was just too exhausted. i knew i had to get up early, and since one of the beds was open i figured i should take the opportunity. mayhem came in a little while later to make sure i was ok. after another hour or so he came in to sleep. unfortunately, i found out later that apparently the guy whose bed i took was not very happy that i took his bed. mayhem told him that he could take the other half of the bed since we were only taking up half of it, but he said he would feel weird sleeping next to his girlfriend (me). understandably so. and i'm thankful that he didn't because i was sick the next morning. not hungover really (just dehydrated and in need of an advil). the problem was with something i had eaten the night before, and not with the alcohol. i tried for about an hour and a half to get stable enough to be able to go home. when i finally thought i could make it home, i told mayhem that we better go. i made it back to his house, and had to wait around a little while. he found a sprite for me to drink on the drive home, and i made it back ok. as soon as my mom saw me she knew i wasn't feeling well. i explained and she told me to just take it easy that day. i was glad that she was understanding and not upset with me (she could have easily told me that it was just because i had drunk too much and needed to suck it up and do family stuff all day, but she understood that i was truly sick from something i ate). so anyway, yesterday was kind of yucky.

thankfully i woke up today and was fine. i ate slowly and everything stayed in my stomach, so i headed back to my place and started to get things done. so that's about it. there's much more to be done, but that's it for now. and in perfect timing, i finished this just as i have to go. i'll be getting more done and then i'll be back with more. until then...


Saturday, September 18, 2004

Disappointment and hype... 

i'm a little disappointed in my guys. they couldn't work up anything to do on a friday night. they told me to go ahead and drive over so i could see them, but we did nothing. i know plans fall through from time to time, but i do kind of wish that i had known enough in advance to decide if i was going to go back over there yesterday or not. i was actually being productive back at the apartment and could have gotten more accomplished if i hadn't left. and i could have saved my super cute outfit that i wore yesterday for nobody to see until today. oh well, que sera sera, and i really am not that upset about it. i got to talk to mayhem and hear the regret in his voice when he heard that i got all cutesied up for him and was disappointed he wouldn't get to see it. and i got to talk to my best guy friend for a little bit, which was nice since we're usually just in a big group of people.

we already have some solid plans for tonight. if it were a group of girls we would have planned it differently because they put a 45 minute drive in the middle of the festivities, but whatever. i'll have to talk to mayhem and see if he wants to make the drive together or if everybody is driving separately. sucky me has family obligations the following day at around lunchtime, so i don't know how everything will work. but it'll work out, and that's all that matters. i'm pumped about tonight... it's another of our traditions. yeah, we sound so sentimental, don't we? haha, it's just a sloppy get-drunk party with the guys+me. so you guys have a great time tonight, and you better believe i will! hugs and kisses! i'll try to report back on the good times tomorrow if possible.


Friday, September 17, 2004


the FDA has now approved home defibrillators for sale over the counter (no training or prescription needed!). just letting you know in case any of you want to jump start your own heart. i'm not going to weigh in on this because many of you have better knowledge about it than me, but i will say this... if they have to put a dozen warning labels on a bucket, then 1) why do they trust untrained people to shock their heart into motion and 2) how many warning labels is that sucker going to have?! yikes.

i have made progress on the apartment and shall leave the computer now to make further progress. yes, i said shall.


Email eshmail... 

well i am thoroughly confused now. i don't like tech guys because they make you feel stupid. talked to one guy and he said everything was ok on his end. told him i hadn't received emails in the past week except for ones sent from the same address extension and he said he didn't know why but give it a couple more days and call back if there are still problems.

talked to a second guy with the forwarding account. told him the problem and he checked it out. claimed it was forwarding to a different email, so he changed it and resubmitted it. then it worked. so i thanked him and went on my way. as soon as i hung up i realized that it didn't make any sense, though, because i had gotten the confirmation email at the right address. so i don't know if that's like some tech guy ruse to avoid looking stupid or what, but anyway... if it keeps on working i don't really care.

and on a similar note, i was promise that the whole washer thing would be resolved completely first thing this morning. so i wore pajamas to bed to avoid an embarrassing situation and even tried waking up at a reasonable hour to listen for a knock on the door. nothing. he still hasn't come. but i was woken up around 7 this morning by chainsaws and leaf blowers of the landscaping crew. bastards. oh well. i have maybe resolved something today, so i'll go get other work done now. adios for now!


Business smarts my ass... 

sometimes you hear some really outrageous shit at work. that's about all i can say about that because of anonymity and all.

so trump is an idiot and a bastard. i like how he fires a dude for being confident in his performance despite being one of the best workers on his team. he claims that it's because the dude made a critical mistake and made a rash decision when he voided his waiver. i really think he said it more as a statement of how confident he was that he gave a solid performance, and not as a cocky "i dare you" kind of thing. but he was taken seriously. he went along with it because he knew he wouldn't get fired based on performance anyway, and he got fucked. trump acknowledged that the guy did the best on the team, that the manager sucked ass and couldn't get shit done, and that the other girl was totally psycho. and then the prick goes and fires the dude. way to talk about not making rash business decisions and then making one of the worst ones yourself. what if he was the best suited to help your company and you lost him over that shit. i think he's more lucky in business than one who consistently has his shit together. so whatever...

well, i'm hungry and i have plenty of shit to do before i leave. hope you all have a great weekend, and i may or may not get to post while gone. hopefully i can, but i still don't really know what's happening this weekend. i'll be back soon either way. muah!

P.S. still feel free to rate me!


Thursday, September 16, 2004

More stuff... 

ok, so does anybody know how to fix a noisy ceiling fan? the one in my bedroom keeps squealing. it isn't quite sqeaky, it's more graty (grating-sounding). like something rubbing against the raw edge of a piece of glass almost. very annoying and hard to sleep through. i feel like i've called maintenance a million times already because they aren't keeping me in the loop as well as they should be on the couple things that weren't perfect when i moved in, so i hate to call the guy out again, but i don't know how to fix it myself. any suggestions from handy men or women in the audience?

i just had a weird realization about today. my body was hyper-sensitive to tactile senses today. it was bizarre. maybe it's how guys feel on a daily basis. in which case, you all have my sympathies. i felt like my sense of touch was heightened the way they say it is when another sense has been removed. but i still had all my other senses. it was strange. i won't go into detail because i'm sure people who talk to me in person don't want to be preoccupied with that the next time we talk.

tried to play a simple CD on my computer just now. i was told that iTunes was the best choice, so i decided to try it since i have it on my computer already. well it needed an update already. now i know that no updates are a walk in the park, but it was a pain in the ass. and it apparently did quicktime at the same time, and it had trouble writing to the correct place. in my experience, quicktime has been that sickly child that just can't get it all together well enough to thrive. it's finicky and always has some sort of "quirk" problem. so tonight was no exception to the rule. and it's a little scary when you see the status bar saying things like "deleting from registry" and other such things. yeeps. but i am finally listening to my CD now, so i guess it was successful.

on that note, i heard a little part of the song "they can't take that away from me" today, and fell in love with it all over again. i absolutely adore that song. so yay it made me happy :)

onto other things... i hired matt earlier tonight, and our fledgling company is quickly skyrocketing into the fortune 500. all i can say is look out trump! i can't go into much more detail without risking the success of our big products, but this is big people. BIG. sadly, we have already lost one of our employees, but you may visit his memorial next to the koy, coy, koi... fish pond in the meditation garden.

ok, enough delirium for tonight. glad i got to talk to so many of you tonight! yay for that. and also yay for having a not-stale granola bar out of this box. i got the box of granola bars last week at the grocery, and the first several that i ate were already stale. i was mad, but lacked the motivation to take it and the receipt back to the grocery and get it exchanged for a fresh box (or to demand a refund of $1.50). so now i'm glad that i got a fresh bar out of the stale box at least. so that's good. and sleep is also good. so g'night! hugs and kisses and all the best wishes :)



ok, i know this is really stupid, but check out the new american airlines commercial with the business chick who is taking a flight home to see her parents. so if you look down at the counter, you see that she put her keys down on it. so at the end of the commercial she never takes her keys with her. like i said, i know it's stupid and petty to notice, but i guess i would wonder if it was indicative of how little they care about details on their flights. or on another note, how could they create 30 seconds of material and not even be able to handle creating continuity? anyway, just wanted to share. out again!

UPDATE: not seing my boys tonight. they don't think they're going to do anything big, and they don't want me to have to drive all the way over there to do nothing. so i'll head out tomorrow i guess. just an update...


A few more things... 

ok first, my computer's been acting a little funky with the cursor. sometimes it'll kind of stick in the space until i minimize the window and then i maximize it. weird.

also, i have to say that i'm very impressed with the people who drive in the downtown area of the city in which i work. i have to walk down a busy street a little way to get from the parking lot to my office building, and i have yet to hear a person honk or yell obscenities at me (in any language). i guess i just kind of expected it to happen since i had guys yell things at me in another downtown of a large city starting when i was like 10 years old or so. i remember i was really shocked by it and my mom looked like she was about to cross the street and chew them out. i know, it's fucked up. dirty old men.

and finally, on a scale of 1 to 10, what am i? i think i have to ask others rather than rate myself. random, i know, but i'm just curious. and i know it's a hard thing to say considering that 95% of you haven't seen me before. but hey, personality does count for something, right? ok, hope you guys are having one kick ass thursday. kisses!


Chin up! 

so i was thrown in some more today, and am now far enough into the mess that they'll have to stop really soon. my schedule is so booked up now that my supervisor is having to consult my schedule, and we're having to work 2 weeks in advance to squeeze her in. who'da thunk i'd be in such high demand?! it's kind of weird and kind of good. yesterday was a fluke in getting both my work and my paperwork finished. today i didn't get any paperwork done and didn't even have time to jot down a couple notes to finish it. for this one thing where i'm collaborating with another person, i didn't even have time to ask her if i would be working on the paperwork, if she would be, or if we'd both have to. why do all jobs seem to have paperwork? and they never allow time to get it done because it's maintenance work and isn't the part that produces results. i'm sure i'll get into a groove with it. and it's not like they're slave drivers with it or anything. when i say i'm busy, i mean i'm already having to stay a little late and go in a little early. the early thing is fine because i like to be there a couple minutes early to get stuff in order before i no longer have a spare second. but the staying late is harder. i mean, no regrets, but i'm much more aware that it's my time at that point. in the morning, i guess it's still easier to feel as though it's my time to get in order even if i'm at work.

it's weird in this job because they know very little about my personal life. in my first internship, i was so close to my supervisor (both physically having to sit with her in the same office all day and also constantly talking to each other) that she knew my life story practically. but here they don't know that i have a boy or any other details of my life. it's kind of strange. makes me feel a little like a loner around the office. which i guess i am a little bit because i'm the new girl and i'm staying so busy that i don't have time to socialize much.

i'm ready to get together with the boys again tonight, but at the same time i have craploads of work to get done. with this crazy schedule nothing has been getting done. haven't cracked any books (not that i would have yet anyway, but i will have to soon), haven't washed dishes or done laundry in awhile, haven't been able to finish the unpacking or put away clothes, and i haven't gotten to get the computer stuff under control, take time for myself, or anything else that i've needed to do. it sucks! so in a way, this gives me an opportunity to relax a little and get all this shit done. but i can't stay up too late because the maintenance dude is coming first thing in the morning. so i'll have to be dressed. ok, relaxation time. i'll be back later...


Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Clock in, clock out... 

got through another day on the job. was thrown in, as promised. it didn't go flawlessly, but it wasn't horrid either. i was actually stretching to meet the ideal time length and had to push and work a little harder than i thought i would need to, especially from what i had been told from the experienced people. thankfully i was able to work with it, and i think i got my paperwork done ok. it'll probably get checked out by my supervisor at some point soon. in a way it's good to know that somebody's checking up on you, but in another way it's a little intimidating to know that you're being watched and analyzed. but i think that's part of the good side to an internship. it keeps you on your toes, helps you learn how to accept constructive criticism, and can save both your ass and the ass of your employer.

i met a cool guy today, stayed pretty busy, was informed i was just about to get a whole heck of a lot busier, and had waves of confidence and lack of confidence. it was an interesting day. but i also enjoyed the fact that i kind of put in a real day's work. i did my thing, got my paperwork done, turned it in, checked my schedule, and managed my time enough to be completely caught up by the time the clock struck 5 and i got to get outta there. but on the other hand, when i wasn't that busy it meant nothing to stay a little longer at the end of the day to rack up a little time cushion.

i feel like i should have something more interesting to say, but i don't really think of anything. i think there were things i had thought of, but i've forgotten them already. i'll be back if i can think of what they were. but until then...


Tuesday, September 14, 2004

One more thing... 

one more thing that's pissing me off... why is the new AIM that i downloaded shitting crap all over my computer? i disable all their shit like the pop up aim.com page and all, but they COME UP ANYWAY! pissing me off. and before you get into the "use trillian" stuff, i tried it, and it sucked hard. the last thing i want is for the sucky ad-ware to be embedding itself on my shiny new computer. grrrr. uh oh... the battery is telling me it's on it's way to death. gotta run! muah!

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Late night and a long day... 

went out with the boys again last night. had to hang around most of the day waiting to find out if they were getting together in time that i could join them. they said to go ahead, so off i went. mayhem gave me directions, but they were far from stellar. i started out and gave him a call asking if he was sure that was the right direction. told him it didn't make logical sense that you'd start out going south on the loop to get north. he assured me i was going right but was just confused by the directions on the loop because they changed frequently. i said ok and hung up. then the freaking freeway ENDED and i called him pissed as hell. wanted to know what the hell was up, and he told me i was going the wrong way as if it was my fault. i explained to him in my not-so-calm road rage voice that i had told him previously the direction he had taken me and that it didn't seem right. he apparently just wasn't paying attention to me when i said that. so yeah, drove about an extra 40 minutes or so out of my way. i could have been there practically in that amount of time. i was pissed as hell. luckily there was some angry music on the radio and i was able to vent some of that off before i had to act like the sweet little girlfriend in front of the guys. i hate seeming like a raging bitch in front of them, even if it is mayhem's fault because guys always back up their boys.

finally got everyone together and we ate another of our traditional meals together... hot wings. afterward, the guys decided we were going to one of the neighborhood bars. don't ask me why they like it because it's a bunch of 30-something year old men who couldn't get a girl if she were glued to their legs. coyote ugly sounds like a good description. the fiancee and i were the only 2 decent looking women there, and not a single guy had the guts to hit on us... even when all my guys were at another table talking and ignoring us girls. it was pretty pathetic. i was also disappointed in my boys. they're usually so good about including me, and i know their history to reminisce with the best of them. but the fiancee doesn't care about being included or not, so she didn't care to join me in getting the guys back there, and i wasn't about to leave her out. she's a sweetheart. and i can't even tell you how GREAT it is to have my best guy friend back. i felt so special getting to hug both my guys all weekend.

last night i wanted to head back to the apartment by 8. we didn't start eating until after that, so i decided i had to leave by 10. i wasn't one of the drivers, and they took me off to the bar, so i lost all control over it. yeah, i didn't get back to my apartment until 1 am. freaking a! and you know it was a huge bitch to get up and function this morning. it was pain and sacrifice all the way.

classes sucked today. had to take way too many notes and got nothing but frustration out of the day. and tomorrow will be stressful. it'll be the day when i'm thrown in with the big fish. i felt more confident about it last week. now i'm getting that little knot in my stomach. hopefully i can keep my cool, though. and i already know that i'll have a tiny bit of time in the morning to pull it together and find out where a couple things are. so that's how the days have gone.

just as a warning, the next week and a half-ish will be crazy busy. i've got things around the apartment, stuff to catch up on with school, chores to do, people to get in touch with, computer upgrades to do, and spending every spare day with my best guy friend. so if things get a litte brief around the blog, i apologize. i'll try to do my best, but i may have to make sacrifices. oh, and my best guy friend is now a married man. craziness. and i'm adding another bridesmaid duty to my list. i'm so excited about it!!!! i could explain, but it's a long story and confidentiality of these people and all. anyway, just updating with all this wedding stuff. ok, that's it for tonight. more tomorrow!


Monday, September 13, 2004

To recap... 

at the parents' house. let's see if i can get this written before one of them comes home again. i'll explain that later if i remember.

yesterday was fun. headed over to see my best guy friend, mayhem, and a couple other people. we got a big rowdy bunch together and headed over to a restaurant for dinner. totally took over the place. i got a drink that probably had at least 6 shots in it, and the guys got beers. after the first one was drained, they instructed the waiter to bring back a larger glass of beer because the first one was just too small. so out comes this big ass stein. adding to the injury we ordered a giant fish bowl of trashcan punch. we got off to a slow start on it because we had our individual drinks, but once we got to it at the end, we drained it pretty fast. it's hard to keep from laughing when you have 6 people huddled around a fish bowl with straws in their mouths and they're trying to talk trash to each other and suck down liquor at the same time. plus you have nowhere to look other than to stare at each other drinking. i think that must be part of the fun. i was disappointed that nobody took a picture of us, though. maybe next time.

on our way back, i could tell that i was definitely tipsy, but i held it together better than most. i think that may be my secret super power. (and NO i did not drive!!) listened to a voicemail from the beer that had me cracking up in front of everyone. i didn't let them in on the secret though. oh how i love my beer!

i love how everyone on this site has a bad ass name. i'm best friends with beer and i date mayhem. how cool is that?!

i sobered up on the couch for a little while, and then finally was able to drive myself home. my last brilliant thought of the night as i fell into bed was this: my boobs seem to have a personality that's larger than life at times. maybe my boobs need their own blog.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Sunday, September 12, 2004

Onto today... 

onto last night and today now. late last night i got a call from a friend who wanted to meet up for breakfast because she'd be just a couple miles from my apartment. of course i said heck yeah, but that also meant i needed to get to bed right away because it would be an early morning. so mayhem left and it was sad to see him have to go. it had been such a great day.

i had bizarre dreams that night. i must have been kind of restless or something because i remembered several dreams. the main one that i remember now was one involving "ravioli balls." they were these disgusting looking gelatin and cheese concoctions abut the size of a tennis ball. essentially it was a large beet red ball of gelatin with a hollowed out center about the size of a tiny melon baller. and that center was packed with a creamy cheese mix (like parmesan and feta or something). it was disgusting looking. i just remembered seeing my mom bite into one and freaking out that she would actually eat one. she claimed they were actually very good and that i should try them. i declined.

so this morning i woke up exhausted. i decided that if i was just meeting my friend for breakfast, i could sleep in a little longer and just run out the door at the last minute. i still didn't feel fantastic, but i felt a lot better. and by the time i left breakfast i felt energized because i had spent time with a great friend.

i also found out that my best guy friend is back on R&R from the army. i think. i haven't heard from him yet and apparently he's catching up on sleep and family stuff. so i don't know what i'll get to see him, but i should at least let him know that today and monday are his last chances until next weekend. hopefully i'll get to see him soon.

ok last thing: does anybody have any clues about what the heck could be wrong with my email?! it's really pissing me off. it's not the accounts listed here, it's an additional one where i get bills and family emails and so forth. if anybody has sent me an email to that address (only a couple of you know that address, so you know who you are) in the last 4 days or so, then please let me know (i guess you'll have to call me) and i can give you another email address to send it to temporarily until i can get this fixed. but if anybody has any ideas, PLEASE let me know!!! i'm so frustrated with it. i use a permanent forwarding address and have it sent on to another email address, so if you happen to know or have a hunch about how that whole thing could get messed up, then please let me know. i'm so technology dependent! thank you muchisimo! muah!

note: i'm leaving town in a few minutes, so i may not be able to post. but now that i have the laptop, i may be able to get a connection and post anyway. so time wil tell. but just in case you wanted to know...


Fun day... 

so i never got back to the computer last night to update. i'll do that now.

let's see here... finally got our butts in gear to go swimming. yesterday was an extraordinarily lazy day, so it took a couple hours of motivational talk before i convinced mayhem that we really needed to go. so we changed and put on the sunscreen and off we went. personally, i'm not sure why he was so reluctant to go. goodness knows he loves seeing me in my swim suit. but whatever. my cover up is just long enough to barely cover my butt, so of course it looks like i'm just wearing a skirt that short. that's kind of the irony with covering swim suits. i mean, it's basically underwear, but somehow it's ok. and wearing a skirt that short would normally be scandalous, but somehow then it becomes modest because you're covering up your swimsuit on the way to the pool. it's odd. and it's a new phenomenon to me. i've never been embarrassed to be seen in my swimsuit, but apartment rules say that you're supposed to wear a cover up on the way to the pool. so i do.

anyway, the water is a little chilly, but we got used to it. my lungs were obviously out of practice because it took a few laps before i could make it all the way across the pool without taking a breath. mayhem had a hard time acting platonic because i wasn't wearing much and was soaking wet (obviously). somehow that's such a huge turn on for guys. all the apartments face into the pool area, so i didn't want things to look bad if some kid happened to look out the window of his parents' apartment. obviously we wouldn't do anything bad, but things can look much worse when you can't clearly see what's going on. anyway...

i also discovered that my... assets, shall we say... are a little too large for my bikini top. i would push off the side of the pool and it would go down too low. so before i surfaced i would pull it up, but half the time mayhem would still look over and indicate that i needed to tug it over more. so i will have to figure out what i need to do to remain covered better the next time i swim. they seem to always become the center of attention whenever they're given a chance.

as we were walking to the pool, my motorcycle boy reemerged. i haven't seen him since i toured the apartment complex a couple months ago. considering that i now live 2 buildings down from him, i was a little surprised. but he was pulling out the motorcycle just as we were walking toward the pool. he watched my ass as we walked, and after he passed i told mayhem that he was the motorcycle guy (or one of the 2 i saw) that tried to grab my hand as they drove by me.

as we were getting ready to leave the pool, the guy came to check his mail. he watched me the entire way along the pool toward the mailboxes, and smiled at me as he passed. then as he walked back, he stared at my boobs as he came toward me and glanced back as my ass as he passed me. i think he may have been acting interested ;-) hello mr. i can't be subtle about it! he made me laugh.

the rest of the day was spent relaxing, taking naps, and cuddling. it was a wonderful day.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Well then... 

my primary email address is still not working. it's really annoying me because i have no idea what email messages i'm not getting. when i called the help desk, they said there isn't a problem on their end and their test email went through. but none of the other emails have worked. i don't know what the deal is. the lady did something that would supposedly help, but it should have taken effect by now. so i guess i'll have to call back again and ask them to brainstorm some more. sometimes i hate technology...

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Saturday, September 11, 2004


i gotta say it again, this is one incredible machine. i love the shelby cobra because it is a sexy and powerful work of art/machinery. it's one of those rare hybrids that accomplishes the aesthetic and mechanical sides simultaneously.

this computer is another example. i just can't get over it. it is so powerful and capable, and that makes it beautiful. i'll try to take pictures of her so you all can drool over her beauty as well. and yes, i'd say that she is a she. beautiful, classy, slim, bright, powerful, and makes men drool. she's a woman of my same design, actually.

yesterday was interesting. i felt like getting a lot accomplised and very little at the same time. so i worked on my mail order husband a bit more, computer upgrades, and a tiny bit on the apartment issues. i think when mayhem gets here (supposedly soon) i'll try to do a little swimming and a little frame hanging (can't say picture hanging because it's things like my diploma that aren't pictures). but you know...

random thought of the moment: i really love the lighting in my bathroom. in all honesty, it isn't very good, BUT it makes me look like i have an amazing tan. so it makes me smile whenever i shave my legs and admire their gorgeous "tan." which means i really should get ready to go swimming so i can make that tan a reality. there will probably be more later...

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Friday, September 10, 2004

Hellooooooo internet! 

what a beautiful thing... i am connected to the internet on my big bad sexy laptop. when the tech guy came to the the apartment, he was floored by my impressive laptop. he looked down and said, "it even has a 10 key!!!" then he admired my 17" screen. he was jealous. mayhem is jealous. oh yes. i am vortexia, and i have the queen of all laptops.

wore a sexy yet casual outfit today and turned some heads. got XP pro, norton, office 2003... the works. only the best for my computer baby. and mayhem is installing all the safeguard stuff to keep it safe.

off to see a movie, and there's something that i've been needing to post for a couple days, but i never remember it when i'm sitting at the computer. this is no exception. so if i remember, i'll try to put it on here. and if i forget, then i guess it wasn't that horribly important. i want to try to get back to posting some pics at some point here. we'll see if i can get back to that. i'll probably have to find some software that's been packed away for awhile, though. so we'll see how that goes. ok, time for my date! :) have a great night guys!!

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.



what a day. already. got up, put in a call to the apartment to let them know that they still hadn't come in and fixed the stuff they were supposed to do on monday. so they put in a work order, i took a quick shower, and the guy came by soon after. acted like he didn't even know there was a problem meant to be fixed here. how is that possible? he supposedly talked to the manager about the repairs. but whatever. i'm sure all our apartments start looking the same to him over time. he fixed one thing and got started on the other. he can't finish it until he makes a hardward run. so it should all be resolved soon.

tried to check my primary email, and got nothing. for the last 2 days. now i know that is not physically possible. people email me, i get the NY times, and other things that i know should be waiting for me in my beloved inbox. but there was nothing. that makes me mad. it's like somebody stealing your mail out of the mailbox... except way harder to do. and probably not some evil mastermind interested in taking my NY times since it's free anyway. so what gives? grr. have to run and get some software soon for the upcoming computer fixing session. internet should be set up, XP pro and office suite installed, and finally get it all up and working.

this is big: i actually swept and did a little work on the apartment today! i need to do a lot more, but it's a start. i may try to do another little project when mayhem arrives. it's up high and requires 2 straight lines... hard to do all by myself. ok, feeling way to energetic to just sit here. so i'm off and running again. ready to make this apartment look almost as cute as me (as cute as me would not be physically possible for an inanimate object). adios!

NOTE: oh, and to people who have been to ikea recently... do they have futon covers? futon chair covers? how much are they? i think i need to get a set if the price is right.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Thursday, September 09, 2004


my relationship with target is truly love/hate. i love the store and (for the most part) the prices, but i hate how my "quick trip" for a couple things can quickly create an expensive bill. damn that new dollar section. ok, i take it back. i got lots of little decorative things, all for only $1. i know you can't beat that... it's just that getting 20 of them still means you're spending an extra $20. the only other reason i was upset with my target today was that i had my little heart set on getting the garden state soundtrack, which they had according to target.com, but it was not carried at that store. so phooey on them.

so the rest of the day...
i guess it really started last night. as i was falling asleep, i bolted upright as i realized that i had forgotten to type up something for work the next day (today). awwwww crap. so i debated if i should get up even though i had already stayed up way past my bedtime or if i should get up early and type like a freaking fiend as i got ready for work. since that sort of allowed me more sleep and allowed me to be lazy at that moment, i decided i'd get up with the first alarm and get at least 20 minutes-ish to type it up. fell asleep and was woken up around 4:30 in the morning by what i thought was a knock on the door. freaked the hell out of me! so i started breathing again and said a quick prayer that nobody was there and checked. thankfully, i didn't see anyone out of the peephole. took awhile to fall back asleep, though, because my body was all worked up. slept past the first alarm all the way to the third alarm. when i normally get up to hustle off to work. first reaction of the morning? "shit!" ...flew out of bed, threw on a decent hopefully professional enough outfit and ran out to turn on the computer. then ran back into the bathroom to put on a little makeup. ran back to the computer and pulled up a word document as i poured some cereal. holy cow i was on a tight shift. i had about 4 minutes to eat a full bowl of cereal and drink a glass of milk by the time i got to it. yeesh.

made it to work just in time, and took a deep breath as a pulled open the door. entered calm and collected. i'm grateful that i can pull things together like that. off to meetings, finally giving some input, and gave in to the call of the coffee pot. it was either fall asleep as my boss talked and disrespect her or get thee to some coffee. as i mentioned, i actually contributed when we were discussing possible options, and they actually ran with a couple of my thoughts for awhile! that's big considering that they have quite a bit of experience and i have none. the idea behind that meeting is also kind of nice because the point is to relate a problem that you're having to the others and get their feedback to help you resolve the issue. it's a good reminder that even the experts get stuck, and it gives a perfect "in" for me as the novice to ask for help without criticism of my skills. plus if i can contribute to solving their problems, then they can see that i can think on my feet.

anyway, i was pleased with that. and after lunch i was supposed to get down to business with my first real task. but it didn't happen. things came up and we'll have to try again next thursday. but i am pretty positive that i'll get thrown in next week the way i was supposed to yesterday. they already have it set up. and i got my office looking a little more presentable in the suddenly-free time i had. so that'll be nice that i have a decent office environment for the big week. i may use some of the stuff i got at target, but i kind of doubt it. i know most of it will be used in the apartment and have tentative locations for the stuff, but there are a couple things that could be cute in the office. so we'll see.

on the way home from work is when i stopped by target. on the way home from target i zoned and missed my exit. i considered cutting through the hashed off section to get onto the exit ramp, but figured with my luck it would be littered with nails and that little maneuver would cost me $100-some bucks. so i took the next exit, got turned around, and decided to drop some paperwork off at school since i was already on the way at that point. it was a big pain in the butt full of stupid drivers, sun blinding me, bad traffic light timings, and offices already being closed, etc. but long story... well, long i guess, i got it all done and got back home.

overall, this was a good day, and i felt like i was effective at my job today. how nice! plus i am not wearing really comfortable clothing that makes me go mmmmm! ok, off to make a couple phone calls. later!

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Daily dose... 

ok, so can a really bad bruise stay there forever? like turn into a bruise shaped scar or something? this is the grossest bruise i've ever had. thankfully it doesn't hurt too much.

on the upside i have some of the best cake ever in my fridge. and as soon as i click to publish this, i get to eat it.

on to the day. it wasn't bad. i was a little nervous because today was supposed to be the big day for getting thrown in. things fell through on that, so it bought me another couple days. woo! tomorrow will be a busy day. i think the entire day is planned out already. but that's ok. i actually don't mind staying kinda busy at this job. i have to run to talk to people on the phone, so sorry this is so short (short for me at least). hope you all have a fantastic day, and i'll be back tomorrow. muah!

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Tuesday, September 07, 2004


today was just a so-so day. went to class all day. wanted to do anything possible to get out of one of the clasess because it was just driving me nuts.

the real trouble came when i got out of class, though. got that sinking feeling i get when i see i have been called about wedding plans (a friend's, not mine!). listened to the message on the way home. i knew this weekend that i was just inches from where the shit was going to hit the fan, and i was about to get splattered. this has just started the mess. kind of the bad smell of being around the shit that's aimed at the fan, but it hasn't covered you in it yet. not just yet. but soon.

so i returned the call, got voicemail, and explained what was up. afterward, i called my mom about it to let her know i would probably have to start the expenses rolling with this thing, and that the friend may not be chipping in after all, and i didn't know how to tactfully find out. so she got all upset and told me to just expect to be paying for the whole thing because they had no obligation to pay now even though they convinced me not to back out by saying they would pay. all in all it's kind of true, even if it's a really shitty bait and switch way of getting me to go. way to leave me in the lurch and in debt (and with a pissed off parent... not at her... at me. yay irrational parents).

so now i have to start looking up all this stuff, and it's just complicated. for reasons i don't care to share here, it's freaking complicated. so i have to make a trip out soon, but it has to be before i get the dress, but the dress has to be ordered this week, but once you order it you have to buy it so what's the point really, and on and on and on and good grief do i wish she would just elope. as i've said a hundred times before, i really hate having to feel like this about being a bridesmaid... it should be an honor, and i'm usually VERY honored, possibly overly honored to be asked. it's just that the intricate workings of pulling everything off for this particular wedding are frankly... a bitch. nothing against her, nothing i want to stay bitter about, it just sucks in my particular situation. but life goes on. and there's nothing more i can do tonight so it will have to wait until tomorrow after work.

oh, and apparently i may be in another wedding like this weekend or sometime extremely soon?!?! yeah, don't ask because i don't know either. but i can say i really hate a lack of communication. ok, i'm exhausted. leave some sort of positive something in the comment box please. i need it tonight. thanks!

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Monday, September 06, 2004

Flip it... 

man, there is a serious underusage of blogger on the weekends. except for me. the weekend is the only time when i really have time to do some serious damage on the blog. we need to switch this trend. everyone else can and does blog at work, and i get so far behind on your lives during the week. by the weekend i've either given up or gotten caught up on your blogs (because you don't like posting on fridays either) and i start blogging. by the time the work week rolls around, you guys are seriously behind on my blog and you start drowning me in posts, too. i think the only reasonable solution is for somebody to deliver an internet-ready computer to my office, maybe with a bouquet of flowers for an added touch. wait, but as an intern people pop by the office all the time to check on me and see if they can find a way to make me busier. hmm, well i'll work on a better solution.

i'm pouting right now because i'm bored. somebody wanna make me laugh or smile? really the only upside to this is that i have a very sexy pout (at least according to mayhem who simultaneously melts and gets turned on every time he sees it). hmm, i think i'll call him and let him know i'm pouty... (the offer to make me laugh or smile still stands!)

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.



so they're supposed to come in and do repairs on my apartment today. any bets on if they'll show? i'm betting they said that before they realized it was labor day and they are currently curled up in bed with a big grin on their faces because they know they're gonna do jack shit today. but that's just my guess. maybe my complex is a slave driver and told them they still had to work. time will tell.

yesterday i did hard manual labor. i had to tarp down my dining room and kitchen so i could sand and finish my mail order husband. (my mail order husband is named jacque and he's from sweden and he consists of a dining room table and 4 chairs and is very much assembly required. there was a whole joke behind this but i don't think i ever posted it.) he's a work in progress. and i've been so busy just trying to get life in order that i slacked on the project. so yesterday i finally got all the supplies ready and got to work. lemme tell ya, it's a pain in the ass. you have to sand down the wood so it's smooth, but not enough that the stain rubs off. then cover every surface with a thin layer of finishing lacquer stuff, wait 2 hours, sand it all down again, paint on another layer, wait 2 hours, sand it down again, and put on a final coat. with all the blood, pain, and sweat i put into the effort yesterday, i got one chair finished, and got the first coat on the top surface of the table (the rest of the table still hasn't been sanded or anything). maybe i should just get a waterproof picnic tablecloth to throw on the table instead and call it good.

i couldn't tell you what the plans are for today because i don't know. my guess is that i'll sit in the apartment by myself, but i could get a better offer. i wanted to see mayhem, but i think he may be otherwise occupied. guess we'll just play it by ear. hope you have a fun one and enjoy the day off!

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Sunday, September 05, 2004

Bad ass... 

i would like to announce that a friend of mine just informed me that my stoic and refined alma mater (for undergrad) apparently has a pub crawl tradition for the early reunions! i'm pretty sure that once you get to 40 year reunions they ditch the pub crawl, but i guess you never know. that really cracks me up!!! and to think that they try to convince the parents of potential students that there is no alcohol on campus (and no off-campus parties). "we only organize drunken debaucheries for them after they graduate..."

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.



ok, here we go. since i already covered most of friday night already, i'll just say that it was a good night with a good man and a good movie. i had hoped that we could sit on the patio and talk in the moonlight, but there were a bunch of probably high schoolers in the hot tub drinking beers and being noisy. so that wouldn't have been very romantic.

then last night... i came back from the store and called to see if mayhem would be coming over. he said he could, and i told him to get hungry because i was cooking us dinner. at the expensive grocery i bought several yummy items to make us a nice dinner, and wanted to do it last night since i was already pumped about it. plus, it's always up in the air as to when we'll get to see each other next, so i figured this was a definite time we could get together before any of the food went bad. i prepared five cheese and herb tortellini with mushrooms and garlic pasta sauce (safe if both parties eat and enjoy the garlic), garlic cheese biscuits, and a spinach and carrot salad. for dessert i also bought one of our favorite ready-made chocolate cakes. he was very happy and impressed with it all, and gave me lots of thank you hugs. plus he rinsed all the dishes for me and wiped down the countertops. i love how even if i'm doing a sweet dinner for him, he feels like he should still at least take care of the clean up afterwards to help me out. (it was during clean up that i took out my leg on the oven.) oh, and he was also impressed that i had cut the mushrooms so tiny and thin that he hadn't even noticed them (turns out he doesn't like mushrooms). he was grateful that i did that so he didn't have to dislike eating them or try to pick them out (aka they were small enough that he didn't taste them), and he said that the iron chefs would have been proud at how small i chopped them.

we talked during dinner and, this is big, did not have the TV on. i grew up in a family that tried for many years to have dinner with no TV. then we slipped a little when we started eating later and were sacrificing good prime time shows. he, however, lived in a family where they rarely ate dinner together and the TV is always on. 3 am there is probably still a TV on in the house. so that was a big deal.

the dinner was a little comical. my dinner table is still unfinished, so we had to eat on TV trays on the couch (in front of a TV that was turned off). i had a candle for the evening, but my matches are still packed somewhere and neither of us could find them. so we just had to leave it unlit. and we tend to share food, so we had one drink and one salad between us, and had a few ups and downs to refill the glass. i think it's cute that we share, so i kind of like that.

after the meal, he cleaned up, and then we watched a movie. parts of it were hilarious, and other parts just left me frustrated. some of the things in the movie just blatantly didn't add up, and that bugged me. but i still enjoyed the movie overall. and after the movie we made out for awhile and talked some more and laughed more and had a wonderful time.

so yay for a fantastic evening. and i may have a scar to remember it by. ok, so that's not so great, but the evening was wonderful. i woke up this morning missing him already, and contemplating if it would be a wise idea to make the drive over there to see him, knowing that i'd have to drive back with drunken idiots celebrating the long weekend. i haven't quite decided yet, but i may do so quickly so i can be fed by my parents for lunch if i'm going to go.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Quick little rundown... 

here's a quick little rundown of the bad and good.

yesterday i got all my shopping taken care of, and thoroughly explored both the home depot and the grocery. got almost everything i needed. couldn't get extra shelves cut for my pantry because the guy i asked to help me just told me to go down 3 aisles, pick out a piece of wood, take it to a saw (in an undisclosed location), and wait around with a giganto piece of wood for somebody to stop by to cut it. since the aisle he directed me to had pieces of wood that were too narrow for the dimensions, i couldn't get the piece of wood wherever on my own, and i didn't know where i'd be taking it or when and if anyone would ever stop by to cut it, i figured i'd live without pantry shelves a little while longer. maybe someday i can go there with mayhem and he can get me all set up. the grocery store was just expensive. i went to one of the upscale versions of a neighborhood grocery because it was on my way home and i figured if the prices were comparable it would beat the semi-ghetto one down the street from me. but it was expensive, the aisles were set up weird, people were self-absorbed, and they were lacking my favorite addictive substance: arizona green tea in the gallon jugs. so i will go elsewhere and save my money.

i have to write a $500 check to pay back my parents for the insane cost of textbooks. i had to buy them before my loan money came in, so i used one of their credit cards. now that the bill came in, my mom realized exactly how expensive they were, and emphasized that she really did want that check written as quickly as possible. bye bye money.

i think i am losing all coordination. friday night, i bit it in the parking lot on the way to the movies. my shoe caught on the pavement, and i went hurtling forward. bruised the hell out of my knee and the palms of my hands are still a little sore. and my ego was very bruised. but luckily mayhem is a great guy who did not laugh at me or see a reason for me to be embarrassed. he said that everyone did it and that the bonuses were that nobody saw and that i wasn't injured enough to have to fill out a lengthy injury report. then he told me about the times when his friends had done similar things in more embarrassing situations, and got me to laugh again. then last night, in the course of a wonderful evening, i ran the top of my thigh right into the metal handlebar on the front of the oven. sent me collapsing into him and the counter opposite the oven, and took quite a while to have enough breath to explain why he was now holding me partially up. when we looked at the injury, it was already turning into a big red, raised oval on the same side as my bruised knee. he ordered me to get some ice for it and sit down, and let him take care of the rest. such a sweetheart. after several ice packs, limping, and some tylenol, i woke up with minimal pain. guess the boy really knows how to take care of me.

and now for something completely different:

i just thought of one positive quality that bush possesses. he hasn't used the patriot act (yet) to imprison kerry and become a dictator without opponents.

and now please continue on to the post that will be written above this for details of my wonderful night last night and the night before (minus the injuries).

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Saturday, September 04, 2004

Garden state... 

finally got to see Garden State last night. i loved it. it was an awesome movie. and i'm actually glad that i didn't get to see it until now. nobody warned me that there were deaths and funerals in it. so if i had seen it right after i got back into town, like i had wanted to, i would have been an absolute mess, and may not have liked it. while it still hit extremely close to home to me, i was able to get into the movie enough to distance myself a tad from those emotions of my own and enjoy the movie. so thumbs up, go see it.

and i am a happy girl right now, even though in about 5 minutes i have to leave to purchase half of home depot and 3/4 of the grocery store, pay for it all, drag it all home, and haul it into my apartment. not looking forward to it. BUT i'm happy for the moment. i have a large bowl of guacamole sitting in front of me. yay.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.



so this morning i got things done. i listened to previews of songs on CDs that i want. i discovered yet another set of problems with my internet provider, called, and got it worked out. and yet, i have not done a single thing that truly makes the "to do" list. like the unpacking, decorating, travel thing, any form of working out, finding decent food for lunch, grocery shopping... and i'm in another phase where i don't like any of my clothes. of course i have limited access to them because at least 1/2 are packed away where i can't wear them right now. so maybe that should be the first step (unpacking) before i start to buy more.

there's a weird quirk to my new apartment. well two, i guess. the corner where i placed my computer table just so happens to also be the hottest corner of the whole apartment. that's fabulous, lemme tell ya. but the other strange quirk is that every morning it sounds like it's raining outside my bedroom window. a couple of times it has actually been raining, but the other times there has been no rain. and i don't know what is making a sound that gives the illusion of rain. i find it strange and it throws me occasionally when i think i'll have to wear shoes suitable for walking in the rain and see that there isn't a cloud in sight... but overall, it is kind of soothing. i've always found it kind of nice to wake up to the sound of rain as long as i didn't have to go out in it. and when it isn't real rain, you're safe from it! so i guess it's an ok quirk.

i think i'll read a little now or maybe try to find a decent movie on TV to better aid my procrastination. for now i'll just decide that i'm waiting for a call from mayhem about all of this, and until i hear from him it's off my shoulders. because it's kind of true in a way.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.



i'm being haunted by issues tonight. they're hunting me down and nagging at my mind. making me feel completely neurotic. i hate it.

to those 2 (approximately) people who know what i mean when i say that i have to deal with this flight issue, do you have any advice? with whom and where? you can call or email me about it, or i may be in contact with you guys for help. with about 4 months to get all this shit together it's really starting to bother me. i don't want to be the horrible friend who causes the heart attack and hidden bitterness about the wedding. which means i have to get this first step done pretty damn fast so i can get the other arrangements in order and all the stuff for the actual wedding settled. erg. if i get these initial things done and she follows through on making it affordable for me, then i can handle it. otherwise... stress city.

also felt neurotic about relationship issues tonight. worrying and stuff. and about things i can never know now with my role model. wondering why i was given something i was given. wondering if she approved. realizing what a potential disaster it could be to have all the various people meet at a future wedding. maybe i should just elope and purchase a photography session at a pretty church instead. that way i get the nice pictures and can make up a sweet story where people got along after the fact. but i don't have to worry about that for awhile. and i have to learn to let go of the things that are haunting me that i can never resolve or understand. so i guess that leaves this friend's wedding stuff as the main thing i have to work on. kind of ruins the whole joy of procrastination when you have something that serious hanging over your head. before it was just procrastinating on getting the last things unpacked in the bedroom and on decorating the apartment. now it's procrastinating with something that could really blow up in my face if i dawdle too long. damn. but sleep still comes first. so until tomorrow...

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


The official stuff...

© VS 2003-2005

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Weblog Commenting by HaloScan.com