Vortexia's Secret

today was just a so-so day. went to class all day. wanted to do anything possible to get out of one of the clasess because it was just driving me nuts.

the real trouble came when i got out of class, though. got that sinking feeling i get when i see i have been called about wedding plans (a friend's, not mine!). listened to the message on the way home. i knew this weekend that i was just inches from where the shit was going to hit the fan, and i was about to get splattered. this has just started the mess. kind of the bad smell of being around the shit that's aimed at the fan, but it hasn't covered you in it yet. not just yet. but soon.

so i returned the call, got voicemail, and explained what was up. afterward, i called my mom about it to let her know i would probably have to start the expenses rolling with this thing, and that the friend may not be chipping in after all, and i didn't know how to tactfully find out. so she got all upset and told me to just expect to be paying for the whole thing because they had no obligation to pay now even though they convinced me not to back out by saying they would pay. all in all it's kind of true, even if it's a really shitty bait and switch way of getting me to go. way to leave me in the lurch and in debt (and with a pissed off parent... not at her... at me. yay irrational parents).

so now i have to start looking up all this stuff, and it's just complicated. for reasons i don't care to share here, it's freaking complicated. so i have to make a trip out soon, but it has to be before i get the dress, but the dress has to be ordered this week, but once you order it you have to buy it so what's the point really, and on and on and on and good grief do i wish she would just elope. as i've said a hundred times before, i really hate having to feel like this about being a bridesmaid... it should be an honor, and i'm usually VERY honored, possibly overly honored to be asked. it's just that the intricate workings of pulling everything off for this particular wedding are frankly... a bitch. nothing against her, nothing i want to stay bitter about, it just sucks in my particular situation. but life goes on. and there's nothing more i can do tonight so it will have to wait until tomorrow after work.

oh, and apparently i may be in another wedding like this weekend or sometime extremely soon?!?! yeah, don't ask because i don't know either. but i can say i really hate a lack of communication. ok, i'm exhausted. leave some sort of positive something in the comment box please. i need it tonight. thanks!

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.