Vortexia's Secret

ok, so i promised that i would share 2 things in particular that happened this weekend. one happened at the concert, and the other occurred at the IHOP afterward.

at the concert i saw a couple "dancing" who were BY FAR the worst attempt at dancing that i have ever seen in my life. i can't even call it dancing because it was so bad. it made that chick from seinfeld look like she should win a dance contest. i'm guessing that almost all of you know what a dog looks like when he's going to town with an object of some kind, quite possibly your leg. that dog has more moves and more rhythm that that man ever did. his dancing loosely resembled a dog humping a leg, but without the coordination or attention to his partner's comfort. he seemed to have spontaneous muscle spasms in the groin area and really seemed to think that he could penetrate right through his partner's thigh. toward the end of the song i turned away because i was worried that i would see him orgasm right there on the dance floor. the last thing i wanted to see was his "o-face" and his final moves. i wish i could describe this more accurately, but there is just no way to describe what i saw. sadly it is seared into my brain and has scarred me at least temporarily. the only closest approximation that i can think of to describe him would be a dog humping a leg but without any natural kind of rhythm to the moves and with more hip swiveling and facial contortions. it was bad, people. so very bad.

that was the bad, and now onto the funny. we arrived at IHOP around 3am or so. i was craving scrambled eggs with cheese like nothing else, and IHOP is an after-concert tradition. of course at 3am there are quite a few drunk people there, and we were seated next to the drunkest of the drunk. at the table were 2 guys and a girl who found everything hilarious and who spoke very loudly. there were several times when the guy sitting directly across from me got up and sat down next to me, scooching closer and closer until he was right up on me. he pretended to be an MTV reporter and then dr. phil. then he asked mayhem if they were embarrassing him or not; they weren't because we were cracking up. he also said that it would cost $500 to get a piece of the action with him, although he was telling his friend's girlfriend that. at one point a waitress had to tell them to settle down, but for the most part the staff was very tolerant of them. they were happy funny drunks, so they probably figured it was better than the alternative. this is obviously a frequent stop for them after they're done at the bars because they recognized another waitress and thanked her once again for the wonderful service she gave the last time they were there and had her. they also told their waiter that he was their boy. they provided a great deal of entertainment for that meal.

i also said i would report "the good" so let's see here. the scrambled eggs were excellent. sometimes they are too greasy and kind of gross, but this time they were amazing. another good is that mayhem may try to stop by tonight. he was supposed to stop by yesterday, but he had to bail. i think i'm going to do some laundry, unpack from this weekend and start packing for next weekend, and do a little preparation for a test i have tomorrow. weeee.