Friday, June 04, 2004
A lesson...
one quick lesson for all the oblivious people of the world. sometimes it's not what you say but how you say it that matters. why was i so upset today? i was just generally treated pretty shitty by people (an IM conversation with a friend was the exception), and my family's oldest cat passed away unexpectedly. i remember begging for her when we first moved to this area, my family finally broke my dad down enough to get her, and he ended up being the one who loved her the most. it was really sad, and hit me pretty hard because i was already emotional today. with something like this, i get kind of weird about who i want to talk to about it because i don't know how you just broach that topic with friends. you call them up and start blubbering "hi, she just died" and hope they aren't in a meeting or something? J's about the only person who i'll call like that. so i did, he was stuck in traffic, trying to drive a stick and hold the phone at the same time, and didn't act very well. hurt feelings. calls back later and gets defensive and pissy as he's apologizing. not the answer, buddy. as we get through a painfully long and mishap laden conversation, i was trying to figure out why i didn't call my friend K who is a huge animal lover and totally would have related. or a best friend from home who knew the cat for many of the years we had her. not that J didn't, but she would have known how to react with compassion. so anyway, this is a twisted fumbly mess, but the point is to freaking pay attention to HOW you're saying something and what attitude or feeling it conveys. like the passive-aggressive teenage angst "fine, i'm sorry" attitude never fooled your mother, a half-assed apology won't fool your girlfriend.
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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The official stuff...
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