Vortexia's Secret

so maybe this is old news to you guys, because... it is old news. but whatever, that won't stop me.

back in the day, this woman randomly told me that her friend (who was married and had children) had gotten this pregnant barbie for her child and it was pretty freaky. the barbie had a pregnant belly, but could give birth. so we were speculating about how that worked, and from where the baby appeared. one of my friends who was with me said that she was going to stop by a toys 'r' us and pick one up so we could figure it all out. i figured i'd just go the cheap route and google it. but we both completely forgot.

until tonight. and i will present the evidence. we can thank good old google and a yahoo shopping link.

first, the picture:


and the description:

Already discontinued in most stores, this extremely controversial Barbie Doll could be one of the most sought after Barbies in years!
It's the Barbie Happy Family Pregnant Midge & Baby from Mattel. The doll comes with a TON of accessories and features: Midge with braided blond hair and blue eyes, maternity dress and shoes, removable magnetic tummy with baby girl inside, flat tummy underneath for post arrival, 3 in 1 crib, changing table, cradle, baby bathtub, receiving blanket, diaper wipes holder, bottle, rattle, rubber ducky, baby monitor, bear toy! Very Hot!

(barbie pink, of course)  here's the link for all of the above, in case you want to purchase her for $29.99.

so a few things bother me about all of this. first, i find it a little ironic that barbie herself couldn't be bothered by pregnancy, but passed off that duty to her less popular and often forgotten friend, midge. second, i think most women who have gone through a real pregnancy would want to set fire to this perfect plastic woman who not only has a flat tummy with abs of steel (if it's magnetic, that's literal!) post delivery, but also was probably wearing heels for the entire ordeal. watch her melt, ladies! the third thing is that of course it would be a baby girl and would just pop out of her tummy painlessly and effortlessly. who has that kind of luck in real life? and finally, i find it disturbing that they refer to pregnant barbie as "very hot!" (and that the first google sites were porn sites using much of the same language). 

anyway, i just wanted to share my findings. i knew you would be interested. plus i'm giving you all enough material to read without missing me too much tomorrow during the day while i'm in class. just imagine the damage i could do if i had a laptop and wifi in the classroom! muahahahaaaaaaaaaaaayeah whatever. but seriously, you know i'd do some serious blogging damage.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.