Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Power...
ok, something i've been thinking about. probably for the women, but men can weigh in on their viewpoint as well. does it make any other women uncomfortable to hear things like "i can't live without you," "i'll never let you go," "i don't know what i'd do without you," etc? maybe it's because i like being strong and independent on my own, or because i don't think you should have to rely on somebody else just to survive from day to day, or because it sounds too possessive and possibly damaging. like the underlying message behind it is "i wouldn't find life worth living if you every left me," "i would try to physically stop you if you tried to leave" and things of that nature. i don't want to think that leaving somebody could bring about bodily harm or death for either person. with time i now know that is not the underlying message with the boy when he says things of that nature. he would never try to hurt me, and he would not try to hurt himself. he would be upset, but he could get on with life. and something about that makes it more comfortable to stay. i guess i had a mentality that if it would be a disastrous ending, then it was better to get it over and leave before there was a serious attachment. but knowing that it won't get ugly makes it even better to stay. that along with a thousand other wonderful things about him and us. i miss him. being apart for any period of time is tough. i did hear from him yesterday though. first time since he left. funeral's today. still not sure when he's coming back.
P.S. Keep them in your prayers, along with my role model and my family, the boy and his family, and the roommate. thanks. love you guys.
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The official stuff...
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