Vortexia's Secret

things are getting a little better. i was up past 4 last night working on the paper and got up early this morning to tweak it. couldn't handle reading the whole thing since i'm still typing from an endtable and sitting on the floor, but i got it to fit the page limit. i set reachable goals. so we're going on 2 nights of minimal sleep... the kind where you're alert right when the alarm goes off because you haven't gotten into that deep sleep mode yet so you don't feel groggy. helpful to pull off everything, but bad for the body over the long run. i'll make it up, though.

had freaky scary dreams last night. i'm living alone and on the first floor of an apartment complex. not typically something that a girl desires. but the complex is very safe. problem is, i still haven't gotten used to all the little noises, like the creaking of the floor upstairs and being able to hear their doors upon occasion. so the dreams... i had at least 2 dreams where i SWEAR that i heard somebody open my bedroom door and walk in. worst thing was that i was so immobilized by fear that i couldn't move my arms or open my eyes. that makes me think that it was maybe because of dreaming, but i could have still been somewhat awake and in a groggy semi-conscious state and truly immobilized. or my mind playing tricks on me as revenge for staying up so damn late. either way it was scary as all hell. i was finally only able to move and open my eyes by convincing my brain that if i stopped moving (breathing etc) that they would leave and i could check if anyone was there. obviously not a rational thought, but it calmed my body just enough that i could move again. opened my eyes to see a dark but empty room. waited for my body to stop freaking out, return feeling to my limbs, slow my heartbeat and return to regular breathing. i hope to goodness that these feelings and dreams go away fast. seriously scared the freaking crap out of me. and it happened twice. second time was more vivid, hearing footsteps moving on the carpet even. lordy. anyway, i needed to share. if anybody has any tips or ideas, etc then let me know.

eesh. well i have to shower and figure out what i'm doing with this little sliver of time during the day. have to go to school early to print out the paper and get books for the next semester. how fun. but the stress level is slowly lowering. possibly because i'm too tired to think about it. possibly because the school work is about to subside temporarily, giving me the opportunity to deal with the rest of my life. back later. maybe even tonight.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.