Vortexia's Secret

so i ended up spending nearly an extra freaking hour at work today. stupid drama has to hit 5 minutes before i should get to leave. but thankfully one of my coworkers is super nice and helped me out even though it kept her at the office later than normal as well. maybe i need to make some cookies in appreciation of the people in my department next week. anyway, i digress...

so i get home an hour late, and go to check my mail. i'm still in my office wear minus the heels at that point. as i walk up to the gate, i see a very young couple huddled in the bubbling hot tub. i wonder why the hell they would want to have such a cold walk back to wherever they came from, but i quickly snap out of that when i realize what i am interrupting. the couple was extremely close together and were both acting like deers caught in headlights. i hear hurried murmurings, one of which i think was "do you think she saw us?" so i'm like, oh great. just what i need after a long day is to have to tell 2 horny 13 year olds to chill their respective parts in the ice cold pool until i get back into the apartment and can shut the blinds. so i stare them down as a visual confirmation that "yes she saw you and she doesn't want to see any more." they make small talk as i pass by but are both staring at me, waiting for me to leave. i seriously considered making them miserable by going through the dozens of ads that were mailed to me right there on a lawn chair. but i wasn't in the mood to have words with them if it came to that.

then on the way back by the hot tub (yes that was the only way to get back to the apartment), i hear that they're making small talk again, but this time the girl is mentioning something about a guy jacking off. nice. i'll just give your parents a referral to watch the movie thirteen and tip them off that they may want to personally disinfect the hot tub as their christmas gift to the rest of the residents. mental note: no matter how much fun it can be to stay warm in a hot tub and watch the steam rise into the cold winter night, i ain't doing it there. i figure their germs should die off by next summer.

now i have to admit that i can understand the fun of having sex in a hot tub. i have considered what fun it could be. but carrying it out in the public hot tub in the middle of your parents' apartment complex when you look all of 13 years old?!? and i know she had to be close to that age in reality as well because she wasn't comfortable enough with her boobs to take off her shirt even though she was having sex with the boy. come on, you're too young for that. and have a little respect for others while you're at it.

and finally... i can't help but wonder if my boobs are growing once again. i know, at some point you're actually going to get sick of hearing about my boobs. but i wore my favorite bra today, one that i wear regularly, and it was so tight on my chest that my boobs hurt by the time i got home from work and was able to peel it off. maybe this was a one time freak deal, but i don't know why i would have big boobs today and smaller boobs tomorrow. so... you guys may be in for the official Boob Growth Play-by-Play, Episode 3. after this growth spurt, should i sell my account as a trilogy? i've had way more than 3 spurts at this point, but i think there are 3 recorded here just in this past (almost) year. milk... it does a body GOOOOD! hahaha. i may need to have tony (or anyone else who has a donation thing) help me set up a bra fund on here if i have to buy yet another round of bras. guys, you're lucky that your only underwear apparel is cheap and can be purchased in 3 packs. mayhem is one lucky son of a bitch.

ok, enough of that. i'm off to curl up under a blanket with a hot drink. too bad i don't have a hot man to join me ;)