Vortexia's Secret

**[this is part II, so please read part I below first to get the whole story. enjoy!]**

so mayhem and i go inside the apartment and say hi. he had some goodies with him, so i'm curious. but my bladder doesn't keep up with my drinking capacity so i had to race to the bathroom first. ok, this is proof that mayhem can be SO sweet when he wants to be. he brought a baseball bat for my protection in case anyone tried to break into the apartment. then he brought a CD that he had burned for me because the first song reminded him of us. then he brought a heart box full of the olden copper cookie cutters. they used to be his mom's and she didn't want them anymore, so he got brought them for me to have. he promised that we would make sugar cookies and decorate them together when it got closer to christmas time. and finally, he brought good news with him. he voted, and he kept his promise! so YAY!!! mayhem has been redeemed at least 3/4 of the way now! this boy can be soooooo sweet when he wants to be... it's just remembering to do it that's the problem. and he wasn't upset about the mix up either.

so we start talking and we certainly ran the gamut. we discuss the titty bar and if i would have regretted it when i sobered up. i didn't think i would, but that i would probably find it more embarrassing when i was sober. we discussed top things... top 5 guys (for me) and girls (for him, and i contributed who would make my list if i were into that). my top 10 best body parts, which mayhem didn't think was fair because he had more than 10 parts he loved that he wanted to make the list. then it was top 5 locations for sex. and i mentioned all the possibilities that he left off the list and he was again upset to be constricted to such a short list. mayhem also imitated my bladder and my liver, which was pretty funny. we talked about us. he mentioned very matter of factly that he would probably have to start saving after he got his car to get me a new car soon after we got married. that kind of shocked me since i figured that would be something i would have to struggle with on my own. but then i realized, he's right... we probably will be married at that point. wooooow. weird. good but weird. and it was very cute that he was thinking of me and just, well i need to save my money so my future wife can have a reliable car because i want to make sure she's safe.

after that, we started talking about pregnancy. he mentioned that some guy had told him that whatever happens you should never be in there during the delivery because you'll never look at the vagina the same way again. i knew at one point he wasn't all that sure what he would want to do, so i asked him and he said he would absolutely want to be in there holding my hand and helping me as best he could, and would only leave if they made him for some reason. we talked about how pregnancy was probably the oldest medically-related practice (obviously since that's how we got here!) and yet they still didn't have any really great way to have a child. women my size have to worry about the complications of their hips having to spread too far too fast and injuring either them or the baby since we're so small to start with. fetal heart monitors are highly inaccurate. conventional medical practices degrade women and work against nature making it the hardest position from which to give birth. c-sections are hard to recover from because they cut through the stomach muscles and then the muscles atrophy and the cut can't be stitched back, but has to slowly close together on its own. some women schedule their deliveries by requesting a c-section to have the baby fit their busy lives, while the ones who give birth the conventional way then have to worry about the dangers of an emergency c-section if something isn't right. basically, it's all pretty fucked up and there still is no great way to go through it. thus, a small portion of my ambivalence about having kids or not.

we also discussed paintball, and then the games where guys hunt down naked women and shoot them with paintballs. boy wouldn't freud have a field day with those guys and their hatred for women. apparently at one place, if the guy hits a girl, then the "trophy" (the woman) has to spend an hour of "private time" with the guy and has the option of having sex with him for free! oh wow, really?! yeah, i'm sure i would really want to have sex with some guy who just shot me with a hard ball of paint that will leave one hell of a bruise. messed up. that led to talking about hunting and how cruel big game hunting of endangered animals was. mayhem didn't even want to talk about some of it because he hated the thought of it so much. and that led to talking about dissections and how they didn't need to kill animals to let high schoolers cut them open. he felt like there were better ways to teach that stuff and most high schoolers are too immature to treat the project and animal with respect. some of the experiments were better than others, like the pig hearts that were obtained from a butcher or meat factory or whatever and the animals were already being used for meat and more acceptable uses. but the frogs and cats and dogs that are farmed and then killed specifically for kids to slice and dice... he hated that.

we really covered a full range of topics last night. it was so great to get to hang out and talk for so long. we talked until 4 in the morning! i love times like this when i can really see what a great guy he is and how kind and sweet and considerate that he can be. sometimes he doesn't show it and i get frustrated, or we have times when we hardly have time to catch up on life because we're too busy to talk. so this was great. good for the soul and great for the relationship. oh, and before he left, mayhem added a little oil to my car for me. went out in the dark with a flashlight and what was left of the quart of oil i had in the closet, and checked the oil and put in the new stuff. we still have more to do with it... it needs more oil, wipers, wiper fluid, and hopefully a diagnostic somewhere to see if the quirks are affordable to fix right now or if i need to budget them in one by one. (oh, and earlier today i added wiper fluid to the car and that's when i realized that i was so low on oil. still needs more wiper fluid because i just had what was left from the last time i topped it off. the car's kind of quirky and drinks oil way faster than it should.) ok, so anyway, he was so sweet and great to me last night. i just had to share about the great and very interesting night i had. and since i had been so frustrated with mayhem lately, i needed to brag about his victorious redemption story. ok, a massive paper is just waiting to be written, so i better get on it! wish me luck, and i hope your weekends were equally great.