Vortexia's Secret

ok, i'm finally back home. horrible driving weather, slick streets, passed a couple wrecks, had to pack the car in rain and huge puddles. yuck. but i'm home now. things still aren't unpacked, but i'll get to it soon. i'm feeling overwhelmed right now, though. i have a huge list of things i need to get. some at the grocery, some at the hardware store, some at a bookstore, some at a target, etc. i have lots of christmas stuff to unpack and decorating to do. i love doing it, but i'm not at all sure where i'll put everything. plus i don't have a christmas tree. so i don't know if i'll go buy a little one or go without. my parents decided we weren't going to get one this weekend after all. it's been a tradition for years. so that was upsetting. they won't get it until christmas and supposedly keep it up for weeks afterward. but my mom always packs away the christmas stuff as soon as she can. like the day after christmas she puts away everything. and then a couple days after that, down comes the tree and out to the curb.

ok, on a related topic, i think i'm having a quarterlife crisis. and it will get WAY worse before it gets better. the typical quarterlife crisis is just kind of a stressful time as your life changes. you leave school and have to start a real 9-5 job, pay all the bills, live on your own, and all of that. it's the time when you really have to prove yourself and make it. it's also the time where everything in your life changes. you may get married, start living the couple life, and all those tough life transitions. but in general your family life (with your original family) is stable. if you screw things up too badly or you need to cry to your parents, at least you have that. they can help you out, give you advice, or tell you things are ok. but all of that will be changing for me too. my parents are planning on moving. like not just to a different house but like way the hell cross country have to take a plane to see them kind of move. i don't have my mentor anymore. i won't have my family to fall back on when i go out on my own. mayhem and i will have to move wherever we can find employment. hopefully it will be in the same area, and hopefully we'll be able to get engaged and married soon after we go out on our own. but if not, then i won't even be able to have his support. i assumed that i would plan my wedding with the help of my parents, that i would still be able to visit them for holidays, that i could still store some of my odd junk at my parents' house until i had a house with an attic where i could store it all away. but now i'll have to sort, trash, pack, and find a place to store all the shit. i know that part sounds selfish, but it's truly overwhelming. and now my parents will be gone. and they may not even have a place that's big enough for people to really visit. like a small apartment and the offer to crash on the couch. so i have all the changes in my life plus in theirs. nothing will be stable anymore. i need chocolate. and a hug. and a storage unit and some cash. i'll just take the chocolate and hug for now, though.