Vortexia's Secret

so here's another edition of random thoughts a la V. the comments on the entry entitled "Religion..." explain all my privacy stuff. something i probably should have just put in a separate post. sometimes i hate having to be so anonymous. but i have to. most people i know would not understand this site, the many different sides i reveal on here that they haven't seen in real life. not to mention all the things i'm putting on the line with it. so why risk it? because i love it. i've gotten to know some great people, some interesting people, and the lives of people doing the same thing as me. keeping it secret but knowing they have to write despite the confusion others could feel if they discovered what was written. i know that for 100 different bloggers there would be 100 different reasons. mine would be that i am so complex that maybe one or two people in my entire life really know all different sides of me and accept them all. i don't want sympathy as some misunderstood soul that feels sorry for herself. i'm not. generally i see it as a good thing that allows me to be friends with people who click with one of the many aspects. i don't lie, i don't act fake, i don't do any of that to appeal to them. i just kind of run the gamut and know different people who appeal to each part. it's all real. but i realized that i needed a place where i can always be everything at once. here i can just flow. i have a few people who don't like that and i don't care. it doesn't impact me. but most people enjoy it. it's intriguing to them. so anyway.... i cover my tracks and stay safe about this, and i feel satisfied with everything.


well that's enough on that. the other random thought i had, which is truly about as far from the previous thought as you can get was this.... i wonder what different addicts have tried using as a substitute for their normal drug before. not another drug, but like household substances. how the hell did i think of this, you ask?? i went to elementary school with some serious winners. practicing their skills to snort a line before they learned cursive. at the lunch table, the guys would snort salt, pepper, and i think pixi stix. i know the salt and pepper for sure. they'd see how macho they were by how much they could handle until it hurt too much. so i figure it 4th grade boys are that, uhh, resourceful, i know that real addicts must think of some pretty incredible stuff. that and i figured somebody would get a laugh out of the hardcore pepper boys.

the other thought i had actually came flooding back last night. something that i don't even know if i want to share. i'll think about it and determine later if i should really deem the thought worthy of words. if it goes away, then that's probably best. i'm going to do something now, so later....