Vortexia's Secret

ahh yes, wouldn't you know i can make an adventure out of anything. continuing my fantastic luck with directions from an online map service, i set out to get my flu spray. normally i am not the kind of girl who crosses 4 lanes of traffic at once because lil' ol' ditzy me forgot to pay attention. i pride myself on knowing how to drive better than a moron. but the directions were determined to undermine my abilities. so i exit the freeway, turn right as stated, cross 4 lanes of traffic and look for the next road. (supposedly i would turn left in less than .1 miles, so i had to act fast). the road never comes. ok, i have a vague knowledge of that area, so i know when i have definitely passed the region. so i flip a u-turn. i backtrack while eyeing the clock. i had an appointment and he made it sound like they stayed pretty busy. finally get to the area. i see the store and the road, and have to cross another 4 lanes of traffic to do another u-turn into the parking lot. finally get there and in time. they are in no hurry whatsoever. they chat away with another customer and then go in the back for awhile before coming out to ask why i'm there. i explain, and they check with the doc if he had an appointment to give the spray. he glances up, says yeah, and goes back to his business. ok. so she prints of something and tells me to sign it. then ushers me out of the way to sign it out of the "flow of traffic." i'm sure i looked a little alarmed at that since there was nobody there, but i do as i'm told. so i sign it and hand it back. she inputs into the computer and tells me to sign two screens on the little electronic credit card pay pad. says it's about privacy notices. i sure hope she's right because it just gave a signature spot. then i pay. and sign something else. and then sit. finally the guy comes over and i'm watching all the little things that shouldn't have happened with the maintaining sterile environment and what not. but i let it go since he's just squirting something into my nose. it's not invasive surgery. he tells me to tilt my head back a tiny bit and then breathe normally. so i do and it dribbles all down onto my lips and chin. nice. so if my left nostril gets the flu i'm calling him up. he asks the chicky there to get a kleenex, so she walks calmly over to the far side, grabs a tissue, and walks it calmly back and slowly hands it to him. i'm thinking "damnit, hurry up... i have flu all over my lips!" yeah. so then he does the other nostril and i tilt way back and snort that sucker. it goes right on back. just as a heads up for anyone thinking of getting it. it tastes like sicky sweet illness. you know that "ewww, i feel gross and sick" feeling? it is that in liquid form, readily available to be snorted for about $30. it's lovely.

so let's hope this protects me from all the infected people i'll be working and flying with for the next few months. blech. oh, and the drive home involved two more times when i had to cross all 4 lanes of traffic. they put the north ramp on the south side with a big loop just for kicks. and then i forgot that i was coming from the other direction to hit the right street later. flu spray may inhibit ability to drive. ok, finishing up the paper with a vengeance now!