Vortexia's Secret

so people talk all the time about birth mothers in adoption, but does anybody care about the birth father? and so many birth mothers seem to claim that they had sex only once when they got pregnant. how does that work? i don't know the exact odds on that one, but i think you have a better chance of getting hit by lightning in the pits of hell. i don't mean to make fun of them, and probably every once in a while it really does happen, but i just wonder why they mention it at all. the other girls don't say i had sex 128 times when i got pregnant. and if you are one of those girls, get thee to vegas at once!

have you ever thought about how much stuff we wear or put on every day that smells? everything has to smell, and they all smell differently. i'm amazed that people don't think we smell like a rotting florist's shop. body wash/ soap, shampoo, conditioner, face wash, soft soap, perfume, deodorant, and laundry detergent. sensory overload.

my ears had been feeling gross the past couple days. not really like ear wax or something, but just fluidy and gushy. even though it didn't seem like ear wax, i tried ear drops anyway. didn't know what else could fix it, so why not. let me tell you, having ear drops in your ears that crackles and fizzes has to be one of the most disgusting feelings ever. ewwwww. screw the chinese water treatment, just strap them down and load them up with ear drops until they crack.

ok, what's up with the couples where one person is secretly gay? why get married if you aren't sure you even like playing for that team? and i wonder if it will still happen as often now as it used to, since it's more OK to be gay.

i wonder how many cannibals talk about eating people openly in front of their friends. "cindy? yeah, i ate her last night. she was soo good!" their friends probably just think they're studs. turns out they're sickos who cut up people's bodies and roast them on the grill.