Vortexia's Secret

random realization of the morning: i was in 3 different time zones during this break.

of course as i was falling asleep i thought of a ton of things i wanted to either write about or look up. and now i can't remember a single damn one of them. wait, i take that back. i was going to check on something regarding ron jeremy (shudders).

yes, ron jeremy. i know all of you are giving the computer screen a weird look right now. but i had a theory. he's a hideous looking man, but he is most men's idol. he supposedly has a giant dick, is ugly as hell, but gets all kinds of beautiful women. men claim he's like 17 inches, and i'm pretty damn sure that's a lie. so i checked the internet for pictures. so far there is not a single naked picture of him. and the two that look like they're sexual acts have his head right over the private parts. so i think this is a big sham. he doesn't let naked pictures of himself out, and he can retain his image. every man wants to be his nasty hairy self, and he feels good about being himself. still asking why i got on this topic? ok, at the hotel we were flipping channels and came across HBO with naked people posing. so of course we stopped to answer the question of WTF? we gathered that they were doing some kind of porn calendar to prove something or another. they were at the very end and showing all the pics during the credits. ron jeremy was the last one, and looked larger than average, but nothing spectacularly huge. maybe 8 inches. so mayhem said that he must not have been erect. i said, ok so the man who supposedly has the largest penis in the business is going to pose for a naked calendar while he's limp while every single other man does it fully erect? i don't believe it. i think it was a lie all along. i think he's a little larger than average and just made up a huge thing to boost his ego. and i bet i'm right. yeah, weird conversation. so i'll just leave that now.

and just for the record... i have never understood the fascination with him. i think he has to be one of the ugliest men in the world. fat bastard looked a little better. and if he was honestly 17 inches, he'd be nearly a foot away from any woman he was having sex with. how fun is that?? so yeah, i think it's time to let that image die.

in other news, i had a very bizarre and scary dream last night. i don't remember much of it, other than that at a certain point i had to wake myself up from it and remind myself it was just a dream. i remember it was happening at a school, but i don't know if it was like a high school or college or what. and i know that somebody was trying to kill me. shoot me i think. and i was scared as hell. in the dream i was whimpering and trying not to cry because then i wouldn't be able to concentrate on trying to get away from them. when i woke up, i wasn't scared or crying or anything in real life, and i just turned over, thought of other things, and went back to sleep. i didn't want to fall asleep into the same dream again. so it was drastically different from the dream i had when i first moved into the apartment where somebody was in the room. thank god, i never want to have that dream again.

that reminds me... i have had this weird recurring dream. totally off the wall. i guess i can call it recurring now, i've had the same theme in a dream twice now, although i did things differently the second time. i had the second dream during the first trip, which was why i didn't post about it earlier. and since it will probably be fairly long, i should probably post this and make a separate post for the dream. so this is part one....