Vortexia's Secret

so i'm no expert on this because it's never happened to me before, but my guess is the reason that girls are so obsessed with a proposal is because it may be the only time in their life when the sweetest things in the world are said to them, about them, by the person they love most in the world. seriously guys, i bet you could save a load of emotional turmoil about girls trying to force a proposal from you before you're ready or figure out if she's the one if you say wonderful things worthy of a proposal speech on a regular basis. of course it would be preferable if you really did like the girl. and weren't doing it just to get laid. i know, it sounds like a lot to require. but seriously, i bet that your girl would be so happy with you that engagement would just be icing on the already decadent cake, rather than the end-all be-all of her existence. and while i'm no expert and i, thankfully, am not that engagement obsessed, i have noticed that i've stressed about it way less ever since mayhem and i have been having incredible weekends together. i'm sure it means i'm probably completely screwed up, but less fights somehow has meant less fixation on when and if we're getting engaged. actually, though, that could just be an indicator that i'm so happy with our current relationship, that i'm not looking toward the future as the point at which the relationship will improve. ah ha! apparently late at night after deliriously staring at a computer for goodness knows how many hours trying to work on this horrific paper, i can turn all philisophical and psychological, and actually come up with some pretty fantastic theories. who knew! ok, back to muddling through this paper for a little while longer. i'm a little worried for many reasons. i'm only halfway through according to the page limit, but less than halfway through according to the number of sections i've written. trying to avert a breakdown, i need to push full steam ahead. wish me luck!