Vortexia's Secret

i am steamrolling through this paper. YEAH! sure my living room looks like the hell hole of the nerds, but this system is working for me. and i built in motivational tactics. for example, when i started this paper, my coffee table was stacked high with tons of books. and not fun books either. yeah, it was nauseating. but as i finished referencing whatever i needed out of each book, i tossed it under the coffee table so i couldn't see it, thus clearing off the table a little more each time. i am so proud to say that there are only 3 tiny little measly books left.

to keep me in one place (because i get so ADD when i'm forced to do something i don't want to do), i have a drink and the tupperware of cookies right by my side. other than peeing, i have no excuse to leave the computer. and my latest motivational factor... i'm keeping a tally of the number of sections that i have completed and the number of pages i have written toward the final goal. each time i finish a section, i mark it off and add to the page count. and i get to take a break. although this paper was supposed to take several weeks to write, i have already written the bulk of it today. and it's not even evening yet. just think about the poor suckers who spent weeks writing it like prof said! what suckers!!! haha, i'm just kidding. i did this mainly because 1) i had zero motivation, and 2) i had planned enough for it that i knew it wasn't going to be that difficult. i knew the hardest part would be making myself sit and write down all the info, and i can't really do that effectively until i feel the crunch. so here's to maximizing my potential and enjoying the weeks of procrastination!

a special note to high schoolers: do not try this. i am getting a professional degree, and therefore, am i professional. it takes years of skill, mastery, and refinement to learn the art of procrastination in such a way that it actually maximizes the potential of the procrastinator. write your papers early. stay focused. research. do not blow things off. do not get senioritis. find your motivation to spend long hours writing papers. do not let me be an example for you.

a special note to teachers: you may alter this entry with my permission to change the purpose (making it sound like procrastination makes you a failure) if you believe that it will prove useful for your students. i am sorry for corrupting the youth of america and possibly making your job more difficult. if i see you in a bar trying to drown your woes as a direct result of this entry, i'll buy you another drink.