Vortexia's Secret

more weird dreams last night.

in one of them, i was voting in the iraqi election. but here in the states. mayhem went with me, but waited in the background. i guess i was somehow considered eligible but he wasn't. i was a little nervouse about voting for somebody when i had no clue who they were or what their qualifications were or anything. suddenly a guy i used to know back in middle school came up beside me. he was very tall (as he was back then), and he seemed to think we were a couple. he kept supporting me and being very sweet to me. i remember at one point, he leaned down and kissed my shoulder and whispered in my ear on his way back up. i glanced back at mayhem, who looked completely oblivious to all of this. the actual election process was bizarre. i watched as the voter guide instructed the lady in front of me on the process. (that woman actually was iraqi.) basically, they handed you a thin piece of paper (about as strong as those really flimsy napkins at cheap restaurants). then there were 3 little trays of dark red wax. they gave you a toothpick, you looked at a listing of all the different nominees, picked your guy, and wrote his name on the napkin with the wax. so you dipped the little toothpick into the first tray of wax, and wrote the name on the napkin. then you did something with the second tray of wax to preserve and hide the name you wrote. and finally you dipped the entire napkin into the third tray of wax, covering the entire thing. supposedly as they counted the ballots later they had a way of taking off the wax that preserved everything to see the name. oh, and there was an optional board game tacked to the wall above the wax next to the names. it was apparently an option for voting where you could run potential candidates through the game, see who won, and then you would vote for that guy. the voter guide lady assured us that it was not necessary to play the game in order to go through with voting.

weird huh??

then another dream, i wish did come true. a little background info... i emailed a prof from undergrad a couple months ago just to catch up and say hi. i mentioned that if i ever got a PhD it would be in the same field as that major. so in this dream, it had been a while since i heard from that prof (as it was in real life), but the reason was because he was securing a deal with the school. so he emailed back with an offer: they fund me while i get a PhD at a school of my choosing on their dollar, then when i graduate, i come back with a guaranteed job to teach with them as an undergrad prof. without even consulting with mayhem, i just emailed back that i wanted to get my PhD in new orleans (remember how i wanted to live there for a limited amount of time? how perfect, huh?). then i called mayhem and told him that we were going to get married, live in new orleans... he would work while i got my PhD, then we would move back to the city of my old alma mater. (when i told him it wasn't like a dictator, this is what we do or else kind of thing even though it sounds a little like that with the retelling.) he was all excited about it because we both want to live in new orleans for a little time and are interested in returning to the city of my alma mater. so then jump ahead... we were living in new orleans, struggling a little to make ends meet because we were living on one job (his) while i was going to school full time (even though they paid for the school, living expenses were our responsibility). but we were happy. so very happy. mostly because we were living our dream together. jump ahead again, i was the super ballsy, super young, super attractive new prof teaching a class of 50 kids on the first day of class. i just laid everything on the table and told them i expected them to be adults. i even told them that i wasn't interested in dating any of them and none of the guys should try to hit on me because it wasn't going to happen. they were shocked that i was so brazen, but at the same time, i think it increased their respect for me. pretty cool, huh?

so those were my dreams. one very strange one, and one that i would love to see happen. but i have a little glimmer of hope for a very challenging and hard job possibility that i'm sure will scare me shitless several days a week, but will be very rewarding and will make me happy and is ultimately what i want to do, even if it will be so very hard to have as my first job straight out of school. it will make a couple post-grad requirements a little harder (i may have to pay for one aspect out-of-pocket that most people can get for free in a different setting), but i will have the job i want right away, so it will be worth it. anyway, this is still just a very small little hint of a chance, and it may be shot down within the week, but nevertheless it is exciting to know that i have that slim chance. cross your fingers for me!