Saturday, May 28, 2005
Attack of the killer ceiling fan...
my bedroom has a ceiling fan. this is a novelty to me as i've never had one before. so when i moved in, i brush up a little on ceiling fan ownership. (i'm sure some of you who can't live without them are laughing at me right now.) i discovered that they are beneficial with one exception-- they are known to accumulate a thick film of dust and then hurl it into the room's atmosphere like a discus. (i don't know why it's like a discus, it just is.) of course this can be counteracted by an occasional dusting. i een discovered that they supposedly help in the winter because you can reverse the rotation and have them slowly circulate the warm air back down. so come winter, i flipped the switch (reversing the direction of the rotation) and fought futily to find a slow speed on my fan. apparently i was given the ceiling-fan-addicted-to-ritalin model, so it only has two insanely fast speeds: wind tunnel and helicopter blade. i flipped the switch back, called it useless, and decided it would just remain unused until summer.
so last night i decid to check out if it worked or not, so i could be prepared for the summer. i flipped it on, saw it spin to life, and promptly forgot about it. i got ready for bed and turned off the light. just as i entered the pre-drifting-off stage, i heard this strange noise. it sounded like an appliance motor speeding up. i opened my eyse and saw the fan. i heard the rotations rapidly increase. i envisioned the blades spinning exponentially faster until they whirled completely off the base and toward my unprotected body below. i jumped out of bed and flipped off the switch for the psycho fan. i don't know if i'll trust it come summertime or just use it as the basis for my first horror film. our tenuous relationship has just become even more precarious. it's a fan with a death wish. look for this film as the summer blockbuster of '06!
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The official stuff...
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