Vortexia's Secret

so you're wanting an update, is that it? well, i don't have much in the way of updates to send you. ran errands yesterday. had a frustrating conversation with the boy wherein i could hear nothing of what he said the first time around because he was trying to be "polite" to the other customers in the bookstore where he was at. i put polite in quotations because he would proceed to tell me that he couldn't talk very loudly because there was an employee standing right by him who was within earshot and he didn't want the guy to hear him. i started laughing and told him that he probably already heard and now feels awkward about taking up the same space in the store with him. his next comment was "ok, he just left." haha, no kidding. really? after that warm welcome? i'm feeling fiesty. and mayhem has a problem with assuming that people within earshot really can't hear him. like that event in the bookstore. or talking about a couple screwing up their lives... while they are standing next to him... and not stopping when i whisper in his ear that they can probably hear him, are looking awkward right now, and already have been fighting with just about everybody that day. so then he has a conversation about how they can't hear him, and i swear it was only by the grace of God that they didn't butt in and say "uh, yes, we can." oh, or hitting on me in public. it's this odd disturbing habit of his. he doesn't understand that i don't need him to hit on me anymore. he didn't hit on me 6 years ago, and i still agreed to date him. but now i'm pretty sure he does it because he thinks it's funny. i'm fine with it and think it's kind of that lame-funny when nobody hears. but there have been a couple awkward moments when others have overheard. like the time we were at a party, he was buzzing a little, and he pulled me close and hit on me. his brother was standing right next to us, started laughing, and said it was time for mayhem to stop drinking. embarrassing to me. embarrassing to both brothers. and a little ironic since 1) mayhem probably would have done it sober and 2) his brother at that point was probably bordering on becoming an alcoholic.

anyway, i have no idea why i wrote all that crap. i miss him. even though he can frustrate me and lately our conversations have been stressful because we're both finishing up school and trying to find jobs so we're just stressed and busy in general. but i still miss him. i want to see him. and whenever we get together we always take a little down time so we escape from the stress together.

now i've got nothing. no more. i wrote myself into a dead end. i need to get a life again so i have more interesting things to write. this is like the life and times of a shut in. "today the refrigerator clicked on 12 times. yesterday it was only 11. how exciting. the hum keeps me company." blah. maybe i'll go base jumping or something so i have a couple interesting stories to tell next week. give me ideas people. if you care. comments, questions. whatever.