Vortexia's Secret

(parts one and two are the stories directly below this. i'm trying to break it up so it's not one horribly long post.)

anyway, i was finally able to fall asleep at some point because i woke up this morning from having a bizarre dream.

my mom and i went into an antique store, and she bought two drawers out of a desk that was identical to one she had at home. i tried explaining to her that 1) she should buy the entire desk since it was in much better shape than her old one, and 2) nobody would buy the desk now that it had two missing drawers. she didn't care. somehow she bought them and put the drawers in a grocery sack. she then led us back through the mall, past my college bookstore, and into a department store. we walked through the juniors department and she pointed out several articles of clothing that she described as "colorless" even though most people would call them white. she kept asking if i wanted any of them to be my birthday gift. then she stopped in the middle of the juniors department to call my brother because she thought we were too lost to find our way out of the store. i tried telling her how to get out, but i was just getting pissed. she wanted to pawn off some stupid shirt as my birthday gift even though i had already told her i didn't like it, she wouldn't listen to me about the desk, and she ignored me again about how to get out of the store. plus her idiocy was annoying me because she thought the "smart" decision was to then call somebody who wasn't even in the same city, let alone the store!

at that point, i guess the call must have become a conference call with my dad because he entered the picture at the phone call. i was supposed to have gone to germany on a field trip. i couldn't go for some reason, but my dad went. he didn't even bother to tell me about it, but he immediately got on the phone with my brother and told him all about it. he explained that they had these weird vicious bugs that attacked their group and ate everything from their money to (i still remember this from the dream)... their windshield wipers. he told my brother that it was probably best that i hadn't gone, but still didn't bother to tell me. what a bizarre dream!!!

i can see a lot of room for analysis here. i hate when people try to make me powerless -- dismissing my opinions, thoughts, free will, and me as a whole. that's pretty much the fastest way to make me hate and/or resent you. frustration with my parents? perhaps some. she made me powerless last week. no details, but i was extremely frustrated. sibling rivalry? not much. i recognize that he gets babied more, but that's mostly because he can be a little bit of a wuss. however, i also recognize that i have gotten more in other areas, and i would much rather have my end of the deal than his. i feel extremely grateful for everything my parents have done to help me out, so i 1) am very grateful to them, and 2) don't really feel any sibling rivalry with my brother. however, there is one thing that is just a small annoyance to me that arose again last night. every time my brother comes into town, my parents take him out to dinner. every time i come into town i get whatever food my mom was planning to cook whether i was there or not. perhaps he has become the novelty now that he's married. he technically has a different family now, but i'm still just part of the original family unit. maybe that's it. who knows. it really isn't a huge deal, and i usually like my mom's cooking. but it is a little annoying that he gets a celebration every time he comes home. so that could have shown itself in my dream last night.

anyway, that's my weird dream and what i deciphered from it.