Vortexia's Secret

i wasn't really able to post these last couple of days, so sorry for the absence. yesterday was a good day in most regards. it started out being kind of stressful, and i was very anxious to see mayhem again. he was going to stop by after he got back into town and ran some errands, but i was just going crazy! tried to run the errands, but they didn't have what he wanted. so as he came over he got stuck in traffic just a couple blocks from my place. i was going nuts. it felt like i hadn't seen him in ages, even though we saw each other last weekend. i guess there's something about knowing the other is out of town that makes it harder. and the weekend before we were at family functions so we were trying to be on good behavior, although we still devolved into acting like children at the dinner table one night.

at any rate, when he FINALLY got here, we had a wonderful time. it was like we were back at the crazy "in love" stage. so much fun and love and laughter and more fun. two deprived souls getting their fill again. i wanted to just stay in together all night, but mayhem was very excited about the errand he tried to run earlier. he wanted to get dinner out, run this errand, and then maybe see a movie. it turned into a situation that was neither, and not quite a compromise either. once again, we were unable to run his little errand. we got to the mall too late to have dinner where he wanted to go. we ended up waiting so long that i was going to be sick if i didn't get food immediately, and our nice dinner turned into burgers at a fast food joint. we never saw a movie or rented one because mayhem made a stupid impulse purchase that he later realized he needed to return and save his money... but because of it our dinner was downgraded and the movie was nixed. oh well... we ended up coming back to my place and watching one of my movies. which was fine, since we both need to be saving our money.

i sort of tried to convince mayhem to elope with me, too. at the time, i was disappointed that i couldn't convince him, but now i guess i'm ok with it. even though i hate to admit it, i think he has a point that we may end up disappointed with the results down the road since we have been discussing a nice wedding all this time and then we got canned music and elvis in vegas. my suggestion was that we just do it all backwards. we elope now, and if he still wants to get me an engagement ring he can save up and give it to me later. and when we get back from vegas, we could plan a nice reception for family and friends to come celebrate with us. i think i did make him at least consider it, but i don't think it's going to happen.

we had a stupid argument at the end of the night. kind of marred an ideal evening. as we discussed eloping, i mentioned how we could move him into my apartment and we could rent a storage unit or a garage on site to store all the stuff that we couldn't fit into the apartment. i had brought that up earlier as a possibility when we got married regularly as well because my place is big enough for newlyweds to use. i really made a convincing case for it, and he had to back down on his point that it was too girly because it really isn't. but i was about to kick him when he explained why he didn't like my apartment (ok, i was ready to kick him just because he didn't like my apartment because i love it). you ready for his big reason? i have a wall in my living room that he doesn't like. he sees it as wasted space. when it comes right down to it, i think it's more that we both kind of like control. not like a huge issue, but it can make us butt heads. the smoothest transition, hands down, would be if we could both move into a different apartment that we only had as ours. but with apartment leases the way they are, i think that's a pretty slim chance. i know that if i moved into his apartment, he would be too set in his ways there to compromise. probably all of my furniture would be relegated to storage because he couldn't envision the room changed. my apartment is supposedly too small, and has a wall that makes him hate it. i've told him that he could remove or rearrange whatever he needs so he was happy with the set up. erg. it's just something we'll have to deal with when we get to that point. hopefully we can get a place of our own so neither of us has to feel like we're living in the other person's place. i think that's the main issue, not the wall. he feels like the apartment is full of my stuff and is decorated by me, etc. (and of course it is, since right now i'm the only one living here.) but i would be happy to redecorate with him and make it our own. ok, with the one exception of framed college posters of the rat pack or the naked women with pink floyd covers painted on them or whatever. he thinks it makes them span the generation from college apartment into adult apartment simply because they're framed. i will be fighting this in redecorating. but other than that, i'm open.

ok, very long post. it was a good night overall. a much needed evening with my boy.