Sunday, July 10, 2005
Misery...
i have been miserable lately. seems like the world has been crashing down on me and i never got a life raft. i'm not going to go into details here, but just pray for things to get better if you're of a praying persuasion, or wish if you're more of the wishing persuasion.
i would just like to crawl under the sheets, pull them over me, turn off the phone, and not interact with anyone other than mayhem for the rest of the week. he will be required to give me big bear hugs and tell me everything will be ok and that he loves me so much at least once every minute. maybe once i emerge i will feel a little less vulnerable and upset.
but of course i will still get to see mayhem only once or twice a week. i will have to face the world. i will have to continue to take the blows and beatings that are being doled out. i will have to get up every morning and live a pretend normal life. nobody will give me big bear hugs for 5 out of the 7 days of the week. nobody can keep me from what i am having to face.
positives: i still have my health, although i am almost afraid to say that for fear that i'll jinx that one last positive shred that is going in my favor.
i may not post as much as i deal with everything. we'll just have to see if any writing cares to emerge or not. no guarantees either way.
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The official stuff...
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