Thursday, March 09, 2006
Consistent changes....
i think i'm ready for change. most people seem to be either one type or another in a variety of areas. i seem to always be a little bit of both. like this... i like consistency yet i crave change. i hate when things get stagnant. i need forward momentum or a change up. not in the sense of needing drama or curveballs or anything, but when there is no movement to life it gets boring. i think i have literally gotten bored to tears with it before.
that's probably why i've gotten on this "improving myself" kick and why mayhem and i have been struggling at times. he's ok with the same old same old, and i'm getting bored with it. i want something new (not someBODY new, but something new in the relationship). i was kind of getting the blahs with the same old me, so i decided that making myself a better person would give my energy level a kick start and catch my attention.
yet at the same time, when i finally get home from a long day at work, the one thing i want to do most is flop down on the nearest cushioned surface until i flop down in bed. i've had a couple days when food was actually a deliberation because i was that tired. i think that was part of why i decided i needed to make some changes, but it's also the biggest hindrance to making those changes. while you're sitting at work, it sounds like a good idea to go home and work out, cook a meal, eat veggies, not have caffeine, read and learn instead of watching TV, etc etc. but in the moment, h.e.l.l. n.o.
if you could change one thing about yourself, what would you want to change? what's holding you back?
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The official stuff...
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