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Monday, November 27, 2006

Family... 

oh family. such a complicated place. where politics originated, no doubt.

i dread the thought of beginning to look like either of my parents. in my experience, it is a bad thing. something that people whisper about the adult-child once they have left the room. something that is so horrible, so behind-their-back hush hush, that those uttering the words wait until the person could not possibly hear. they would rather say the person got fat within their earshot than have them hear that they look just like their mother/father. it's an insult. it's said with a sense of wonder, as you would say "wow, he/she has really gone to hell, hasn't he/she?" it's a cruel joke of mother nature. it is often accompanied by innuendos of premature aging. only in rare instances, such as the offspring of supermodels who haven't leatherized from a tanning regimen, is it a compliment.

however, for the parent, it is a huge compliment. "aww, he/she looks just like you!" or "i can see the family resemblance." it reminds the parent that they still look youthful, that they were attractive in their day.

now on to in-laws. you can never really be sure that they like you. you can only be certain of something if you know they despise you. in-laws don't play about that. but if they play nice around you, it doesn't mean that they actually like you. it could just be manners. i witnessed a mother-in-law/daughter-in-law situation over the thanksgiving weekend that shocked me. m-i-l underscored how much she disliked the d-i-l when she and the son weren't around. she could do no good. even the sweet gestures the d-i-l made were painted in a negative light by the m-i-l. however, the second the d-i-l appeared, the m-i-l talked so sweetly to her, allowed her to do all kinds of things to help out the m-i-l (big surprise there), and just acted like she finally had the daughter she never had. later on, i asked other family members if the d-i-l had a clue, or if she had let her son know she didn't like his wife. both answers were, of course, no. mean. so don't just assume that you've got the in-laws in the bag. they could still hate you.


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