Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Marketers...
damn marketers. ever since i graduated with my degree, i have been hounded with calls from that good ol' alma mater wanting me to donate. i got suckered into answering the first call, but made an excuse that i was in the middle of driving from work and couldn't deal with them at the moment. she sounded a little pissed and a little freaked, and said they'd try me later. boy she sure keeps a deal. i regularly get calls from them now. but at least now i recognize the number and just avoid picking up the call. i'm tempted to answer and say that i won't shell out any more money until i'm out of the debt called my student loan that was caused by their tuition, so try calling again in a decade or so. but i figure that would only open a whole can of worms about what a bargain that education was, etc etc. eventually they have to decide it's a wrong number and give up, right? i could tell them it's a wrong number, but then i would fear that my actual department might need to contact me (you know, to honor me for all my incredible accomplishments). blah.
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Endurance napping...
which came first, the grocery or the currency? for coining "paper or plastic" as a household phrase. obviously paper came first for both, and plastic is a relatively new phenomena for both. but did we start having the luxury of sacking up in plastic bags or pushing things onto credit first? my guess according to logic is that the currency came first, although maybe not in actual plastic form. but the depression was partially caused by way too much borrowing, cause all the cool kids were doing it and nobody had the heart to say no more. this is all so very random. but it was the thought i began to ponder as i settled in for a well deserved "recover from that exhausting day at work" siesta.
then just as i was falling asleep i heard a neighbor getting dumped. first she begged, and even asked if it would help if she got down on hands and knees and literally begged. the answer must have been no because she then broke into the ugly cry. deep heaving ugly cry.
quite the ordeal to experience just for a simple desire to take a little nap. so now we'll see if i am tortured further as i attempt to devour some ice cream.
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Monday, March 27, 2006
Health...
your health is the one thing you and only you have to experience yourself. you're blessed if it's good. but if it isn't, all that other people can do is support you and remind you that they'll be there as best they can. i have two people in my life who would do absolutely anything for me, and would probably experience health problems for me if i asked them to and they could. but the thing is, nobody can substitute themselves for you. if you have to live with pain or undergo surgery, you have to deal with it on your own. that's scary. you'd think that would really motivate you to take care of yourself. i wish that were the truth. i think i will call those people and remind them how much i love them though. kiss kiss.
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Sunday, March 26, 2006
Mushy gush...
what a great weekend. i've felt loved, pampered, happy, relaxed, motivated, rich (fake rich, i'm nowhere even slightly close to being real rich, but it's fun to pretend), and down to earth. i wish this weekend would never end. so much fun. at least i've got a couple mementos of it. i bought a cute new nail polish and a new pair of shoes to show off the cute little toes. if i had gotten engaged and gotten a puppy then the weekend would have been perfect, but it's still pretty great.
i got to eat good food, hang out with friends and my mayhem baby, sleep late, and feel luxurious. we tried to go hot tubbing, but it was out of commision. next time, though, next time. and we will work out. mayhem and i will be more motivated next weekend. even if we don't, if it's a repeat of this weekend i won't care.
i'm so gushy right now that's about all i can think about. and i'm watching the last episode of friends, too, so i really can't form meaningful thoughts at the moment. maybe later...
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Thursday, March 23, 2006
Pamper me...
wow, after today can i start the weekend early? i need mayhem to come over and pamper me.
first, i think i need a hot bath. with hot chocolate to drink and birthday cake ice cream.
and just like that *snap* my brain shifts... i just now grabbed some ice cream from my freezer and glanced into the kitchen sink. what do i see? that i just collected yet another tube of caulk from the maintenance guys. it seems to be the general rule that maintenence crews can only use a tube of caulk once. must be a new tube at each person's place and you must abandon the tube somewhere in their kitchen before leaving. seriously, i think i've got about 8 tubes of caulk thanks to handimen dropping their tube off in my kitchen.
so back to the pampering. i could go to bed really early, but the down side of that is that i would wake up to another horrible day that much earlier. bastards. all of them. i need to demand a little TLC from the boy. bitch better recognize!
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Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Odd little quirk...
ok, call me a freak, but it hits a soft spot in me when i hear about or see people in old clothes. like when they describe missing people on the news or something, and they say that the person is wearing stone washed jeans and a hypercolor t-shirt or something. instead of just thinking that the person must have really bad fashion choices, i think that they must be either very poor, wearing 2 decade old clothing, or very naive, and therefore at a higher risk for danger in the big bad world. i know it doesn't make sense, it isn't logical, but i always get that feeling. it seems like they need to be protected. maybe that's the feeling.... protectiveness. especially when it's children, thinking how badly they could get teased at school, and wanting somehow to protect them.
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Sunday, March 19, 2006
Important points...
two important points today.
1) apparently i am now at the age where i start to fall apart. i have been graciously blessed with very good health and luck for most of my life. yet through this year of my life, i have slowly fallen to pieces. my emotions have gone haywire on a couple of occasions. i've thrown out my back. i sprained an ankle. i got food poisoning. i've started taking some targeted vitamins in hopes of counteracting this evil turn of events. and i've started "working" on myself like never before.
which leads me to point #2.
2) i just read something inspirational. pointing out that we are always so focused on working on ourselves that we almost never just be. so i think i am going to stop working on myself and just be myself. of course that still involves being the best me i can be, which is close to working on myself, but it still involves being happy with myself just as i am. the most amazing things come from being content and allowing things to happen, so that's the plan. let me just be me.
and hopefully as i be, i will stop falling apart.
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Saturday, March 18, 2006
Everybody poops...
i'm giving you fair warning. i find this wildly hilarious and creative and am proud of myself for thinking of it. so i will hijack everybody with this whenever i get the chance. this is fair warning that i will create and hide a folder named POOP on the computer of anybody who gives me the chance. let me borrow your computer. leave it unattended. and you will have a poop folder. just because i find it that damn funny.
i've already done it to mayhem, but he found it and deleted it. just give me a little more time....
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Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Cutie pie...
ok, one day i will stop saying that i love scrubs. but tonight is not the night.
so a quick little cutsie story. i got a call this morning as i was getting ready for work. my stomach turned. everybody knows not to call me in the morning since i'm so not a morning person. i was scared it was going to be a coworker telling me bad news from the office... like that i had to get up there ASAP or screwed something up or something else i didn't want to hear. but at the last second i picked it up. hello? hey baby. it was mayhem from his office line. his anal boss doesn't want personal calls, so i didn't have the number programmed in my phone. new scare. "hey sweetie, what's wrong??" "nothing. but i forgot my phone at home so i just wanted to call and tell you so if you tried to reach me, you wouldn't worry." then he continued... what was i doing, had i already gotten dressed, did i think i could meet him after work. very cute.
now that i've related all the cute and cuddly, i think i'll strip down and shower.
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Monday, March 13, 2006
Personal nurse...
i've been a little absent. maybe because i was up to no good with the beer. pure debauchery i tells ya! of course i'm paying for it now. work was a little rough today.
i'm pretty sure i broke a few laws this weekend. like paying a stripper in public in front of a cop. that's gotta be breaking at least one law. and a few others. mayhem will never let me live that one down though. at one point he got on the phone with his mom and was taunting me that he would tell her about it. i found a way to convince him not to, thankfully. there's a lot of leverage that a woman has. mayhem told me that this weekend. pretty much said that i could get my way or get anything i wanted if i used my leverage correctly. i think i was just given the key to the city!
i think i'm going to nurse my weekend pains now. kinda screwed with my "being good" kick, but hey, i think it was worth it!
who of you are on spring break and planning on visiting me??
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Thursday, March 09, 2006
Consistent changes....
i think i'm ready for change. most people seem to be either one type or another in a variety of areas. i seem to always be a little bit of both. like this... i like consistency yet i crave change. i hate when things get stagnant. i need forward momentum or a change up. not in the sense of needing drama or curveballs or anything, but when there is no movement to life it gets boring. i think i have literally gotten bored to tears with it before.
that's probably why i've gotten on this "improving myself" kick and why mayhem and i have been struggling at times. he's ok with the same old same old, and i'm getting bored with it. i want something new (not someBODY new, but something new in the relationship). i was kind of getting the blahs with the same old me, so i decided that making myself a better person would give my energy level a kick start and catch my attention.
yet at the same time, when i finally get home from a long day at work, the one thing i want to do most is flop down on the nearest cushioned surface until i flop down in bed. i've had a couple days when food was actually a deliberation because i was that tired. i think that was part of why i decided i needed to make some changes, but it's also the biggest hindrance to making those changes. while you're sitting at work, it sounds like a good idea to go home and work out, cook a meal, eat veggies, not have caffeine, read and learn instead of watching TV, etc etc. but in the moment, h.e.l.l. n.o.
if you could change one thing about yourself, what would you want to change? what's holding you back?
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Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Reeves...
how sad. so christopher reeves dies young. then dana reeves just died, at 44, from lung cancer when she didn't even smoke. they still have a 13 year old son who is now orphaned.
while you'd think a child would change things, i can't help but wonder if maybe this was another instance of the incredible lengths of love. i've heard of people who pass away soon after their spouse because they can't live without them. could it go so far as to leave you open to a cancer you wouldn't usually get, and to such an extent that it takes your life? granted i'm pondering all this with no knowledge of any part of the situation, but it does genuinely make me wonder. i've heard some pretty crazy stories about how your immune system listens to your heart.
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Rebel with a heart....
question. how do you get off the rollercoaster?
back to back to back i had such a streak of emotional days. first two days were absolute bliss. seriously the best couple of days that i've had with mayhem ever. then the third day was hell. reminded that i was vulnerable to rejection, even with him. which was one of the worst feelings to remember EVER. i hate feeling vulnerable, feeling insecure, so thankfully 99% of the time i am super confident and sure of myself. i just hate that he left me exposed to that feeling.
in other news, i'm still trying to "be good." the problem with my rebellious spirit is that as soon as i realize that i'm succeeding at being good, i want to be very bad. i know, none of you guys see that as a problem. but it's kind of bad for me if i find it so enticing to screw up what i've worked so hard to create.
who still has to do their taxes? me. so naive of me, i thought for sure i'd have them done back in january. should've known better.
time for scrubs again. i heart that show.
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Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Important questiono...
what the hell is the proper etiquette in dealing with somebody who you KNOW hates you (which makes you not their #1 fan), but who continues to pretend about once a year that they give a shit about your life? my first instinct is to do the defensive bitch thing and have it out, except i'm a pussycat and hate conflict, drama, and confrontations.
so plan B would be.......... ??
thanks in advance for help!
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ASA...
hi, my name is vortexia, and i hate stupid people.
hi vortexia. welcome to anti-stupidity anonymous.
seriously, i find it hard not to get ugly with stupid people. and when they're asses, it's that much harder. i mean, if you're nice but stupid, i will do my best to be patient with you. but when you're an asshole and act like you know everything when you don't, AND you're stupid, it's very hard for me to be nice to you. it's true. i do hate stupid people.
and sadly, my first experience with typepad has made me worry that it is stupid too. if i get something to actually work, i'll post the linky-loo.
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The official stuff...
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