Friday, May 28, 2004

All's well... 

that ends well. yesterday started out a little rough, but ended very well. oh, and my c: drive is now backed up so if it continues to go downhill i can hopefully at least save it.

now the twins and i are out of here and heading back to the parents' house for the weekend. might get to update there, might not.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Thursday, May 27, 2004


i miss concerts. i miss them like crazy sometimes. i've gotten to see some great bands: red hot chili peppers, incubus, blink, bush, bowling for soup, uncle kracker, nixons, soak, goo goo dolls, our lady peace, fuel, local H, toadies...... oh so many great bands. i know i was blessed to see them. i just wish i could afford to see more. but at $100 easy for two tickets, it just isn't feasible for somebody with no income. i also wish i could hold my own a little better in the mosh pits. i usually have at least one guy protecting me, but i still went under in a scary way at the incubus concert. the place was packed beyond belief, i had gotten in the front 1/4 of the small venue, they hit the chorus, and everyone just shoved forward. my rib cage collapsed as all the wind was knocked out of me, and then i was knocked under everyone. ironically, being a little hot chick also saved my ass. i hit some guy's arm, he looked down, and yelled "hey, hot girl down!" and 3 or 4 guys pulled me out. scary shit. now i consider the mosh circumstances before i get in there.

lenny kravitz and sarah mclachlan... two long-termers who i would looove to see in concert. (obviously i'm not too worried about mosh pits there... i'm just saying.) hoobastank would be great. drowning pool.... ok, this list would be endless, so i'll just stop. and the pizza's here anyway...

who would you love to see in concert? or who was your favorite to see in concert?

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Old 97s... 

any of you know or remember the old 97s? i heard one of my favorites, "nineteen," last night, and was reminded of all the fun times. they were the favorite band of one of my guy friends, so we would often have an old 97s marathon when we road tripped. i distinctly remember one time when we were turning from a small highway onto a residential cut through to another highway... nineteen came on, we all started singing, and then we realized that we were nineteen. that song was created for us. i guess we passed it down to the younger ages as we got older. mmm, good memories.

i was only 19, not the age of reason...

ok, time to pick J up at the train station. don't wait up... ;)

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Space crunch... 

last night i happened to notice exactly how little hard drive space i had left. less than a gig. the little hard drive icon no longer shows. uh oh. that is also how old my computer is... normally i'd have another 30 gigs (at least!) to spare. oh well.

going through things to delete, i came across a good quote:
"i love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. life's a bitch. you've got to go out and kick ass." -maya angelou


P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Thoughts of the evening... 

i hate how catty women can be. i don't have many people who dislike me, but the 2ish who do are very catty women. not fun. but i don't want to dwell on that or on them. i was just reminded of them earlier tonight when discussing plans.

in other news: why does mcdonalds think that they'll have such an influence on people? adults are going to purchase the "adult happy meal" and suddenly get the urge to walk, take the stairs, etc? right. because they now have a 15 cent pedometer they will change their ways. i don't believe it. and why the hell does the commercial have a gossipy bitch talking about her screw up brother??? is that their model adult? their target audience? what the hell.

in better news: my application went through just fine (except for the no income thing which will be taken care of within the week with a cosigner application). good credit, a clear criminal record (of course), yay. it's always reassuring to hear that your credit history is good. i also made the needed dr appointment with somebody who was highly recommended by a current patient (always a good sign) and talked to my wonderful aunt for a while tonight. they aren't flooded out, although it has cramped their style a bit. in general a good night. oh, and do you like my neon flowers?

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Honest blogger part deux... 

Part two was created by kitty bukkake:

1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog? that's a good one.

2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered? not the ones of me. on the pic from my college living room i blotted out a bumper sticker that said where i went.

3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you? creeps no, dorks sure.

4. Do you lie in your blog? no. i try not to give away identities of people i talk about, but i don't lie.

5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog? why would i be?

6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop? do people actually do that?! in short, no.

7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping? no. but everyone would probably benefit from some therapy, myself included.

8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones? i deleted part of one that i found offensive. and once again about faking comments... do people actually do that?! i certainly don't.

9. Have you ever rubbed one out while reading a blog? How about after? no and no.

10. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less? maybe more... but that's a bit egotistical to make assumptions about. however, most people like me in person and i pretty much just lay it all out here.

11. Do you have a job? yes, i'm a full time grad student who pays a couple grand to work for free, not once... but twice. envy me, baby, envy me!

12. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it? as long as i could live off the salary, i'd be game.

13. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life? tough question. i think it would be fun to invite some interesting bloggers to a coffee house and all just roll with it. see what kind of conversations we have and where it takes us (don't i sound like a hippie!). so i guess anyone who's up for it and can write an interesting blog.

14. How many bloggers have you made out with? kind of one. he was a short-termer.

15. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have? i don't really consider money in the way i act. but since i'm in college and developing a debt, that would innately mean that i act like i have more money than i have since i'll have negative money by the end.

16. Does your family read your blog? i hope not.

17. How old is your blog? 7 months old. i feel like such a young'un!

18. Do you get more than 1000 pageviews per day? Do you care? far from the 1000 a day mark. i don't really care, but i never mind reaching a larger audience... unless it's people i know who i don't want reading my blog.

19. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar? no, no, and no. i considered starting another blog at one point, but not for any of those reasons.

20. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing? no, and i don't ask for money either.

21. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes? don't get any. should i be getting money for blogging?

22. Is blogging narcissistic? at times. if it's shameless "look at me, look at me" entries then it's more narcissistic than the regular writing about whatever posts.

23. Do you feel guilty when you don't post for a long time? kind of... i know it gets boring to see the same un-updated page day after day, and i don't want to lose readers. i also usually want to post when i haven't, but just either can't take the time or am not near an available computer and internet.

24. Do you like John Mayer? used to and still kind of do. but as i've mentioned before, his ego needs to be taken down a few dozen notches.

25. Do you have enemies? i don't think they'd be considered enemies, but there are a couple stupid girls who don't like me for some dumb reason. maybe they're intimidated.

26. Are you lonely? nope. have i mentioned before that i love my friends?

27. Why bother? with what? blogging? because i wanted to write, i wanted to share my life with people, and i thought i could bring something interesting to the table.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.



we have a very strange relationship with death. we fear it and are fascinated by it. some people study it, or the aftermath, others try to treat it, others try to avoid it at all costs. without death, one of my profs wouldn't have his specialty, coroners and morticians wouldn't be here, fewer people would go to the doctor, archaeologists wouldn't have much of anything to study, and many poets would be without a subject about which to write. most of what we know about ancient egypt revolves around death. families used to keep books of the dead where they had what was quite possibly the only photograph ever taken of the relative... it was a picture of the person all fixed up by the mortician before the person was buried. it also turned out to be a valuable find for those attempting to trace their genealogy. nowadays we have the goth culture, cult movies, 6 feet under, and on another note, almost daily reports flowing out about the latest thing that will kill us. too much sugar, artificial sweetener, too much vitamin, too little vitamins, too much food, too little food, too many (sexual) relationships, too few relationships, too urban an area, too rural an area (not enough resources), and the list goes on. and from what i've learned, it appears that those who try to fight death (doctors) and those who deal with the aftermath on a daily basis (morticians) are some of the most fearful of dying on the whole. interestingly, the person i know who is most academically interested with death and has made it his specialty is very well balanced. he doesn't take it too seriously, lives his life how he wants it without being afraid of death or trying to defy it, has a wicked sense of humor, has a sweet and loving wife and 2 well-adjusted intelligent children, is friendly and very much embraces life. although i doubt it is because of his fascination of death, i do think it takes a very rare kind of person to maintain that kind of interest without ruining his current life. it's ideas like this that make me realize that i will always be a sociologist at heart, and may have to continue it at an amateur level.

on another note, i think eric schlosser, author of fast food nation should consider writing a follow up book entitled "snack food nation." i'm sure there are all kinds of dirty secrets about the snack crap we eat. but then, what do i know... i haven't even gotten to read fast food nation yet. it's on my list of books to read, but that's about a mile long.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.



I think that as bloggers, we all hold secrets. some hide their blog from people they know, some from people they don't know, some from some people they know... some hide their age, location, real name, fantasies, intimate details, everyday details, occupation, etc. very few of us lay our whole lives out on the internet for anyone to see. yet at the same time, what we do care to share is interesting. some may not want to share their name and occupation, yet lay out the details of their sex lives. some give their name, age, location, but hide anything that is beyond what you'd tell an everyday acquaintance. some spill their brain out on the page with only the occasional censorship. some blur the line so thoroughly that they can write anything at all and nobody cares because they don't know if it's truth or fiction. but i guess real life is like that too... to some extent.

i think it was question 4 that got me thinking about all of this.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Randomness at its finest... 

slow morning... no calls from the apartment complex about the application i filled out on saturday, no reader emails, no notes on the door from the weird guy... but there were a few comments and a new reader with a cool blog, and a call from my former roommate saying that she did in fact forget to pay the internet (took her nearly a week to remember that) but would mail a check to me. good.

i started to get organized last night. sadly, my apartment is so small that i only had room for a single small bookshelf. with 32 course hours' worth of notes and books, cookbooks, dvds,photos, photo albums, a stack of books to read in my free time, and 9 more hours worth of books waiting to be purchased, i'm a little tight on space here. did you know that one of those 13-pocket expandable file folders can weigh about 10 pounds after i'm done with it? i didn't either till i picked that sucker up.

i slept in way too long this morning. i think my body's all out of whack with this break. it actually got used to waking up every morning at 6:15 (ick) and going to bed early. now that i'm staying up much later, i'm back in the college "conserve sleep" mode. you know you'll have times when you can only get a couple hours of sleep and other times when you can get loads, so you hoard all the sleep you can get when you don't have a reason to get up.

we don't have very many words that we can spell with only one side of the keyboard. for the left side, we have: we, were, texas, sex, dessert, desert, free, dew, wed, wart, sad, cat, beg, eat, get, tag, treat, retreat, etc.
for the right side, we have: only, pin, pill, ill, nil, hop, on, pop, mop, kill, jill, hill, mill, hilly, you etc.

ok, yes that was probably just a low point in blogging history. sorry. but maybe some of you found it educational. ok, time to eat. i'll be back later with something a little more intellectually stimulating (i hope).

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Weird persistent dude... 

Ah yes, i was just reminded about the one reason i don't like living alone. random people knocking at my door late at night. i was chilling with willie wonka at his chocolate factory when all of a sudden, i thought i heard something. for some reason i decided to go to the door to check it out, and was surprised when there actually was somebody there. as i was trying to think if there was a reason why somebody might stop by, he knocked again. then i checked if he had a big ring of keys to get in (meaning he worked for the complex... or stole their keys)... but realized that if he did i needed to get more dressed than i was. as i ran back to the bedroom, put on pajama pants, and made a mental note that i needed to see if workers at my new complex had the right to enter my apartment without warning, he knocked yet again. by that time, it just got a little strange. most people i know aren't willing to stand around for several minutes knocking on somebody's door without an answer as they look more and more like a dumbass. more knocking, and more, and more, and more... probably knocked about a dozen times. he was probably just an innocent guy who really wanted to talk to me for some unknown reason, but i didn't want to take a chance. didn't know him, didn't know anyone was coming, didn't announce he was with the apartment, didn't say "i'm your new neighbor," or "i'm in love with you vortexia" or anything, and i certainly didn't want to end up making a mistake i regretted for the rest of my life. so the lesson of the day: if you're going to road trip several hours to visit me, gimme a heads up first or you'll be sleeping in your car. but i'd be very creeped out if any of you knew where i lived (unless you know me and i've given you my address). ok, showering time...

oh, and why don't we have candy stores anymore? or penny candy? and why haven't we made a river of chocolate yet? i mean, if willie wonka had the foresight to make such a gift to mankind, aren't we insulting him by not creating a real version? yes, i think so...

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Memory lane... 

I was looking back at pictures of my old rooms and started to reminisce. last year we were 5 floors up, and i loved it. i love heights. i know so many people are afraid of them, but i love it. i used to step onto the rail of our balcony and lean way over just enjoying the height. well, i loved doing that until my former suitemate (who is terrified of heights) pointed out that our balcony had broken before and was bolted into grouting. then i stopped. i wasn't up for determining the extent of the injuries caused by falling 5 stories into a thick brick wall.

i also looked back fondly at our entertainment wall. we had a fridge, microwave, video/snack cabinet, candy jar, tv, dvd/vcr, neon pink flamingo (hellsyeah), dart board, and badass fight club poster. it was fun, but very college. i'll post pics of my current place tomorrow probably.

i would just like to say that our professional phone skills have diminished dramatically in this country. i called 4 different doctor offices today and got the impression that all of the nurses were a little dense. one started talking about surgery (where the hell did that come from?!), and they all gave me an "i don't give a f*ck" attitude. calling my future apartment complex, she acted as though she was confused as to why i would be interested in knowing if my application had been approved or not. (turns out it hasn't been processed yet.) that just confuses me. judging by how many people are glued to phones these days, you'd think we would have mastered these skills by now. and judging by the competitive nature of business, you'd think people would be even more aware of the need to impress over the phone. i know that i always appreciate the people at my phone-in prescription company because they are some of the most professional and warm people you'll ever talk to on the phone. but whatever...

eesh! i have relatives dangerously close to the flooding in the midwest. i better give them a call and see if they're still above water. hope any of you living up in that area are staying safe and dry!

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Vortexia vs. Punk Apartment Complex... 

ah yes, that landmark case that will go down in the history books. what was the verdict? how was it resolved? curious? you should be...

have a good feeling about it? you should...

I WON!!! yay!!!! i delivered my impassioned plea yesterday morning, and last night i discovered that the manager had left a note taped to my front door (didn't have the balls to face me i guess). he wrote to me that he had considered my request and that if i would give him a signed letter stating that i would move out 4 days early in exchange for not having to move with the consolidation, then i could stay. woohoo! so i typed that sucker out, signed it, and delivered it this morning. he put it in my file and that was that.

if you'll just indulge me in a little victory dance for a moment...
i woooooooooon, i wooooooooon, i won, i won, i woooooooooon! nah nah nah nah nah, i won, i won, i woooooooon!! wooooo!

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Po-pos a go-go 

So i normally don't call police officers po-pos, but i couldn't resist the title. i have been desperate for groceries, so i woke up this morning, threw on some clothes, grabbed my list and a package of pop tarts for the road, and off i went. on my 10 minute drive home, there were 2 wrecks... and swarms of cops. the first one was just as i was trying to turn back onto the main road. one car rear ended the other. 2 squad cars, and a very poor plan for moving the vehicles. during the first left turn light, the police blocked the road (with the butts of their squad cars) so cars had piled up prohibiting the turn. second left turn light, the police stepped into the intersection to stop all traffic and direct the second wrecked vehicle onto the side road... just as i had rolled forward into the intersection to turn. so now i was stuck like a dumbass in the middle of the intersection. turned out ok, though, because i didn't have to wait for yet another turn signal. then a couple intersections down the road i passed another wreck. again, it appeared to be a simple rear ending, but i only saw one car. there were, i kid you not, 5 squad cars lined up behind that one car. isn't that just a tad excessive guys? i know you're out in full force prepping for the memorial day weekend, but come on now. if there are so so many of you lining the streets that 5 of you witness the same wreck at the exact same time and all have to stop and render aid because of it, i think that's a few too many of you out on the streets. yes, that person in the wreck was probably happy that there was a cop in the area to help out, but 10 cops (5 cars, 2 per car) is a bit much. i'm just saying...

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Monday, May 24, 2004

Guys aplenty... 

Ok, so funny story from this weekend. as i mentioned, i went apartment hunting with my mom this weekend. after i applied and paid a deposit to seal the deal on my new apartment, i decided to check out where exactly it was. i turned the corner and saw two guys pulling motorcycles out of their townhouse garage. my first thought... oh great, motorcycles in an apartment complex. you know how i feel about that (see #82). but they seemed young and i started wondering how they could afford the townhouse. my guess was either that a) they were younger than me and it was actually mommy and daddy's place or b) they were a little older than me and a successful gay couple (or male roommates who rode matching motorcycles... hey what do i know, i don't care either way). just then i found my apartment door and the nearest available parking for it. not much to see, so we turned back around and headed back to the car. i was still conscious of the bikes and heard them coming closer. i turned my head and saw that one was cutting really close to me. i was in flip flops and didn't want to lose a toe (did you see my cute toes?), so i squeezed closer to my mom (who didn't realize i was in a motorcycle's path). just then the guy passed by... turns out he was reaching out to grab my hand as he drove by and looked back at me with a huge grin because he had flustered me. anyway... i found it funny and pretty ballsy that he'd try that kind of thing while my mom was with me. anyway, just wanted to share.

i'm intrigued about guys willing to hit on me in front of my parents. i mean, why? i always thought that my parents' presence would be a signal that it wasn't a good time, or that guys would think that it would make a bad first impression on the parents. but what do i know... this isn't the first time a guy has hit on me right in front of my parents, so go figure. if you've got insight, fill me in. i'm curious.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Maybe i can't think of another creative title... 

maybe i delivered my letter to the manager of my apartment this morning. maybe i'm counting on the answer being that i don't have to move but i'm still afraid they could say i'm SOL. maybe my cell minutes don't start over until tomorrow and that's the only phone i have. maybe it's driving me nuts to know i can't talk to anyone. maybe it's also annoying that i can't even make a doctor's appointment until tomorrow. maybe it was so hard to see that one of my best friends called this morning and know that i needed to tell her all the stuff that's happened recently but that i couldn't pick up the damn phone. maybe i'm going to have to spend a good little part of this summer sorting through all kinds of crap that i have stored at home so i can take my old furniture to the new apartment. maybe my hopes of a good relaxing summer have all turned to crap since i have way too much to do. maybe this whole waiting game for the phone and apt complex is frustrating as hell for me. ok, maybe i need to work on a more upbeat post and get back to you guys...

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Sunday, May 23, 2004

Pink! you could be my flamingo!

What's a song that makes you smile?


Lazy sunday afternoon... 

Why is this a lazy sunday? because i have so much to do that i'm just overwhelmed. i figured the best remedy for that was to do nothing today and worry about it all tomorrow.

"sippin on chamomile"
yes gwen, i am. i'm drinking chamomile tea from my favorite mug. it's a handmade glazed ceramic coffee cup with a blue rim and a man's name on it. it's obviously not my name, but in a way i think that makes it even better. it means that i have no reason to love it other than that i just do.

i have an announcement for the WB. you had good ratings, you had some good shows, you had a solid audience... and then you blew it. superstar USA. it's annoying, and you get the point of the show just from seeing one damn commercial. yes, it's an "original" knock off of the bad american idol show and william hung's fame, and maybe it intrigued people the first time they heard about it, but that's as far as it goes. if you had to do it, make one fast-paced hour long "special." as if showing 2 new shows a week isn't bad enough, they then re-show them on fridays AND sundays. who really is dying to sit through an hour long show featuring BAD singing and bloated egos? i'm not. your show sucks. get off the air.

ok, enough ranting. back to my tea and my coffee cup.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Picture this... 

I need to get a new memory chip for my digital camera. i have some pics on it that i'm keeping, so when i start taking pictures i can only take a few before it fills up. oh well... i have a birthday coming up.

last night i felt like taking pics, but i hadn't taken off the pics that i took the last time. so only 2 of these are from last night. the others are from a couple weeks ago. enjoy.

i'm listening to the local techno station trying to figure out why i haven't reached over to pick up the remote and change it yet. sadly, our kick ass hard rock station went under last week. it's a tragedy really. i have a big hole in my lineup now. good station, pure crap, decent stations... people are trying to start petitions or boycott the evil clear channel, but unless they all get the word out both are pretty pointless. and unless they start backing their signatures with dollars, the station won't come back. have any of you ever gotten a radio station back after it went under just because you wanted it badly enough? i haven't. of course with the uneasiness over what is going to happen to me and my apartment situation in the next week and a half, i have cared very little about all the other stuff. and now that i've found a new place, i have the added task of hunting down furniture. i need to figure out what i want to do. i need to check around with friends (well mostly their parents), garage sales, etc. ok, enough of this... down to the pics.

changed channels, found a good song, decided i HAVE to deal with one thing at a time. after i figure out if i have to move or not, then i'll figure out the furniture and everything else. *deep breath* i can do this.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Honest blogger quiz... 

I said i'd answer this quiz that Tony created. so here it is.

the "honest bloggers-only quiz"

1. which political party do you typically agree with? green

2. which political party do you typically vote for? democrat

3. list the last five presidents that you voted for? nader, too young, too young, too young, too young

4. which party do you think is smarter about the economy? democrat

5. which party do you think is smarter about domestic affairs? democrat

6. do you think we should keep our troops in Iraq or pull them out? pull them out and start damage control so this new version of iraq doesn't fall flat on its face.

7. who, or what country, do you think is most responsible for 9/11? osama

8. do you think we will find weapons of mass destruction in iraq? yes, ours.

9. yes or no, should the u.s. legalize marijuana? might as well.

10. do you think the republicans stole the last presidental election? yes.

11. do you think bill clinton should have been impeached because of what he did with monica lewinski? no.

12. do you think hillary clinton would make a good president? yes.

13. name a current democrat who would make a great president: hillary

14. name a current republican who would make a great president: right now that sounds like an oxymoron to me.

15. do you think that women should have the right to have an abortion? under some circumstances at least.

16. what religion are you? Christian.

17. have you read the Bible all the way through? no.

18. what's your favorite book? hard to say, i think i need to read more to find that one that i want to praise from the rooftops. the 5 people you meet in heaven was cute, endearing, and well written, though.

19. who is your favorite band? another tough one because i love so many types of music... red hot chili peppers maybe.

20. who do you think you'll vote for president in the next election? Kerry.

21. what website did you see this on first? tonypierce.com + busblog

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Saturday, May 22, 2004


Since some of you may actually look to me for advice, i feel it is my duty to bring this information to the masses. if you are a sprint pcs user, you can get your account credited for any dropped calls. good deal.

maybe tomorrow i'll get around to posting some pics.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


New locale... 

So i only had to see 2 complexes before i picked my top choice. i actually had to see choice #2 first, and it was a great little place with friendly office staff and a very tempting offer (about $150 off the current market value, locking it in to a lower rate for future renewals). however, when i went back to place #1 it just felt like a community. there are apartments in the center of the complex and townhouses on the outside, so there's a good little mix of families and individuals. my mom and i talked to a couple people who lived there already, and both said they loved it there. then talking to the guy in the office, we discovered that only one one-bedroom would be available for an august move-in. they only have a little over 100 units, so it wasn't just a "hard sell" tactic. this place has had less than a dozen calls to the police in the last year (very good for a complex)and was quiet and secluded. it was in a neighborhood set back from busy traffic but still in a good location. i'll have a living room with a fireplace, a kitchen, dining area, patio with outside storage area, washer and dryer included, walk in closet (and of course a bedroom and bathroom). and it's still less than $1 per square foot. pretty good. i kind of felt bad for seeming so interested in my second choice only to make a quick decision to take the first choice with less "selling" by the agent, but it really seems like a great place. i think if and when i resolve the problem with my current location i will truly be able to get into the excitement over the new location. my letter to the manager of this complex is ready to be delivered monday morning, and will hopefully bring good news. ok, on to other things, like enjoying a free saturday afternoon.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


If you're gonna piss on somebody's dream... 

it better not be mine. i'm going to try to fight stupidity with intellect. i wrote a letter to the manager of my apartment in a moment on controlled anger outlining exactly why this whole consolidation plan was illogical and inconvenient. i am also searching my lease to see if there is any kind of little loophole i can worm myself through to get out of these last 2 1/2 months. tomorrow morning i'm going apartment hunting and have one that stand high above the rest as the superior location. hopefully it will be just as good in person and i'll be able to get in there. wish me luck on the fight with my current apartment complex though!

here's how careful i was to not get screwed over again. i used online sites that allow you to pick your amenities and see prices and pictures to get some affordable options. then i looked at apartment ratings from previous tenants and ruled out most of my options because they are apparently hell holes in disguise. so i took the remaining ones and checked the better business bureau for complaints. finally, i checked the local police department to see the crime stats for each location. boy was that an eye opener! when there are 2 death investigations, 10 thefts, 29 car burglaries, and a total of 128 various crimes involving police investigations in a very expensive complex, you put it at the bottom of the list in a flash! too much money to just get screwed over. but thankfully that one apartment complex survived all the tests. i just hope it works out in person as well.

oh, adding to the crap trend, i checked my cell phone minutes this morning and saw that i had gone over my limit by 76 minutes already. crap! thank goodness we're into the weekend now and i should start the new month on monday, but that still sucks! there's an extra $30 down the drain.

however, as a little turn around, J was able to come over for a little while tonight. and temporarily being roommate free, we were able to make out on the couch worry free. it was very good to forget my worries for a while. and it was great to feel like we could just take some time to reconnect. with both of our lives being so crazy lately, that's in pretty high demand. well i have to get up early tomorrow to start the apartment search, and i want to end the day thinking about this shared time, so good night!

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Thursday, May 20, 2004

If you don't like swearing... 

then you probably don't want to read this. i gave you fair warning.

Today has been a big piece of shit day. got word that if our prof doesn't want to adjust our grade then we're SOL. basically the only recourse we would have would be if we were minorities who were discriminated against or if there was some kind of systematic problem where everyone got fucked over. since all the other people got As and we're little white girls, we're fucked. then i had a creepy panhandler follow me in the parking lot of my neighborhood ghetto-fabulous grocery store. needed money for "munchies" as he put it. buy less weed, get fewer cases of the munchies, have more money to spend on the munchies. anyway... so then i come home and open my mail. get a bill for the internet... brace yourself... $99!!! WHAT THE FUCK?! turns out the previous month's payment was never posted by my roommate. since it was in her name, we just transferred the account to my name. big mistake. as the guy informed me when i called to see what had gone wrong, i should have had the internet disconnected then reconnected in my name to avoid this problem. then i would have also been a new customer and could have gotten their deals. don't i feel like a dumbass. yeah, well i didn't know this would be a problem. i just wanted things to be transferred as easily and simply as possible and just be done with my roommate.

as i'm walking to the computer to pay the bill, i get another phone call... more bad news. i have to get a physical and a very unpleasant female exam. the last one was nothing short of traumatic, so i'm freaking already about having to go through it again. (obviously i knew it would have to happen, i just was trying to forget that.) i have since switched insurance providers, and therefore doctors, so i have to find somebody i'm willing to trust with this issue... and before the end of summer. i know it shouldn't be a big deal, but it was a very big deal.

now as i was writing this and thought the bad things were over, i get a knock on the door from the complex. the guy hands me a letter, i ask what it's about, and he explains that i have to move. my lease is up in 2 months, but i have to move to another person's apartment for those fucking 2 measly months because they don't want anyone in an 2 bedroom apartment without a roommate. damn little fuckers. oh, and they tried to pass it off as putting us in newer apartments and helping us to split the electricity bill. i told them i didn't care and would just deal with my old shitty apartment and pay the full bill. i told them I AM MOVING in 2 months and they can deal with it. but no... apparently i have to deal with it. in the lease they disguised the part about them having to give 10 days notice if they move you into a different apartment as part of the terms if you had roommate problems and requested a move. fuckers. i am so fucking livid. why is today the fuck me over day?! although you couldn't tell today, i've been swearing less since i can't exactly do it during client sessions. but right now i don't give a damn. if anybody out there has legal advice for me other than becoming the spawn of satan and trying to be so damn fucking annoying that they just give me what i want... please PLEASE let me know!

so after each issue (the apartment struggle and grade, the bill, the call from the doc, and now the new apartment problem) i called my mom to tell her. i have to call back when my dad gets home to discuss which gynos are on the insurance plan (oh looking forward to THAT). anyway, i think my mom is getting sick of all the bad news, and so am i. after the doctor call and again after the visit from the complex i broke down on the phone with J. why did so much shitty stuff have to happen in one fucking day?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! please please please leave encouragement or advice or something, anything good in the comment section. i'm feeling very miserable right now.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Apartment hell... 

So i have to start searching for a new apartment so we can go look at the best prospects on saturday. unfortunately, the "good" options are few and far between. i made a list of ones with the necessary amenities (mostly security) and reasonable prices. then i started looking at apartment ratings. surprise! most of them suck. woohoo. and getting through all that crap and so many searches is so tedious... i should make a site that wraps it all up in one. gives you the amenities, info, etc as well as tenant ratings. oh, and i did leave quite a detailed little review of this complex. it felt good... cathartic release sounds like a good description. not surprisingly, only 9% of the reviews recommended my complex. too bad i didn't find out BEFORE i became one of the naysayers.

i'll get to the next installation of pictures a bit later. i'm actually busy, and since nobody really seems to care about it, i'll do it whenever i feel like it. i wish it wasn't such a pain in the butt to change the template for my blog. i don't really want to just plug in a new template, so i'll have to do it by hand. i already modified this one, but i'm ready for a change. blah...

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Wednesday, May 19, 2004

New idea... 

and i'm so excited about it! i love beauty and artistic expressions, and i love the unexpected treasures you can find when you google random words. so... i will hand deliver the goodies. what will i google-images for you? beauty and faith, hope, and love. truly some of the prettiest words in the english language. now let's see what pictures random internet users decided to title with these words.


sorry guys... they couldn't all be hot girls because, well, that just doesn't hold my attention very well. and you need diversity. anyway, that's BEAUTY. since it's lengthy (and kind of tedious) to put up all the pics, i'll do FAITH, HOPE, and LOVE tomorrow in 3 installations. give me feedback... love it? hate it? think i'm crazy? too cool for words? whatever...

p.s. SMILE! i'm in a great happy mood just because and i love that! AAAAAAAAND for some reason i'm actually in the mood to cook lately! never happens. but i'm running out of tupperware and fridge space from all the little things i've made (granted, it's not that extravagant, but i'm still proud). and i made a tasty little tropical fruit salad with mango, pineapple, and mandarin oranges... i could have added my kiwis, but i love kiwi by itself so much i couldn't part with them. ok, random happiness. *muah!*


Good and bad of the day... 

Good: J came over for a little while today. it was great to see him again since it's been a while. lots of cuddling and kissing and laughing. love is so fun! :)

Bad: I got a total BS grade in one of my classes. the professor and half the people in the class couldn't speak english fluently. we only had one main assignment for the class, and it was a group project. we chose a solid group who all had high standards to work together. yet, we got a B. wtf?! i never even questioned that i'd get a 4.0 this semester because i excelled so highly in every class. we gave an interesting presentation and used a variety of visual aides and resources. our paper was solid and backed with many resources. if everyone in the class got Bs, then i'd figure she just decided to screw us all over, but no. they got As. i'm happy for them, but i think it's total BS that we didn't as well. ok, i'm done ranting. i've emailed the prof to ask for an explanation and will go to the dean if necessary. i will get to the bottom of this.

Sidenote: Dude! somebody must have been listening to me earlier when i complained about the good cell phone incentive programs only going to new users. i said i wanted special treatment because i had been loyal. i just saw a commercial from sprint called the "new for you" incentive program, where it looks like they do just that. you get the good deals just like the newcomers. 'bout damn time! i feel so powerful now!

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Girl dies of boredom... 

on the internet. man, this is seriously a slow day. i have nothing to do (ok, so that's a lie) and am hyper (that's an understatement). i keep checking back in hopes that somebody would comment, or update their own site, but everyone else apparently has other things to do. doesn't keep me entertained very well. i am searching online apartment matching sites for a new place to live since saturday's the big hunt day. i don't like their little schemes to make you register, give them personal contact info, agree to apply to the location before you even see it, etc. so i'm writing down all the info they provide and i'll just do it all myself. good idea? meh, who knows. but in this area, a couple of pics and a half-hearted list of amenities can make any place look good, when it is in fact gang, drug, and drive-by central. although my complex isn't quite that bad, i'm determined not to get suckered in a second time. but having the attention span of a gnat makes it a little hard to focus. so if any of you have a minute to entertain me, please do so. it's not pretty when i go crazy ;) thanks!!!

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.



Somehow this doesn't surprise me. i just hope people are smart enough in the election booth to remember all the idiotic, atrocious mistakes of the entire rest of bush's presidency. i hope if they take the grants they still remember that their programs would have been cut if it weren't an election year, if bush wasn't trying desperately to boost his ratings, if he hadn't screwed everything else up so badly. for me it's pretty easy to pick out what he's doing just to boost his ratings in hopes of reelection, but i'm not as easily fooled as some. i'd tell the people to take the money, hell the programs do need it, but to remember that it's a gift with a purpose. just don't fall for it.

i just HAVE to comment on this one: "Commerce Secretary Donald L. Evans stopped in Daytona Beach to attend a large prayer meeting, where he praised Mr. Bush as 'a leader you can trust 100 percent of the time.'" who the hell is he talking about because it sure as hell isn't mr. bush as in the president. unless he really meant to say that you can trust him to screw you over 100% of the time. yes, that might be more accurate.

back to a decent post... feels good :)

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Maybe my body's growing old... 

Maybe my sleep cycle is all screwed up. maybe it's all starting to make me feel old, even though i'm not. maybe my body got used to having to go to bed early and wake up at 6. maybe now it's wondering what the hell i'm doing to it by acting like a college student on summer break. maybe i woke up at 6:15 this morning just like when i worked, and maybe i had to pee so bad that i had to get up. maybe that makes me feel old, too. maybe i was also so incredibly hungry that i wondered if i needed to drag my ass out of bed again to eat a bowl of cereal before trying to get back to sleep. maybe i decided to sleep it off and eat whenever i did finally get up for good. maybe all of this is disheartening for somebody who slept so soundly that nothing could wake her, who could sleep through hunger and full bladders and alarms, and slept despite caffeine. maybe i can will my body back to its former condition? maybe every grown up has contemplated that at some point in their lives. maybe i'm tired of this post now and will come back when i have something worthwhile to contribute. blah to me.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Food for thought... 

Who's the worst to be behind at the grocery store check out? a lenient dad who rarely shops with his hyper toddler and a trainee cashier. can a toddler work the credit card machine and sign the electronic receipt? no. will the dad be apologetic for taking an extra 15 minutes to check out? no. will he use 8 coupons that all scan as invalid and have to be overwritten? yes.

but it's ok. i'm home with my food back in refrigeration again. i've eaten a good dinner complete with fresh veggies and fruits because i decided i missed them. when you fix food for one, you rarely make side dishes. when the main dish serves 4 and so does each side dish, then why bother making so much excess? but certain fruits and veggies work well... a couple stalks of celery, a handful of carrots, and a little branch of grapes. rinse 'em off and there ya go.

so while i was fixing lunch i tried an interesting experiment. i just started reading a book on the eastern religious perspective of consciousness. the section i finished was talking about mantras and repeating them over and over to raise consciousness. i decided i needed lunch and would actually fix something, but wanted to try this whole mantra thing. i fixed the whole meal while repeating this mantra, and was surprised how easy it was to do both at the same time (especially since i had to follow instructions to cook while saying other words). anyway, just wanted to share. ok, gonna try to get some plans together for tonight.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.



If i could just step onto my soap box for a minute, i wish that people who go on TV to solve relationship problems would learn the signs of abuse. for the most part, the woman i just saw did an excellent job of cutting to the heart of the problem, focusing on what was most important, and trying to deal with it before the next commercial break (which in itself isn't that great since you can't solve anything in 3 minutes, but whatever). however, this woman seeking help was clearly in an abusive situation, and it was recommended that she and her husband go to counseling together (that shouldn't be recommended in abusive cases because the woman is already at a disadvantage and will never feel comfortable telling the truth when she'll just go home to be locked up and beaten for it). but her husband wouldn't let her work, punished her for doing everything wrong (not cleaning correctly, not cooking right, etc), and didn't allow contact with the outside world. oh, and the dick cheated on her in the past and was currently cheating on her with their next door neighbor. there are many forms of abuse and just because somebody doesn't have bruises on their face doesn't mean they aren't being abused. it is so heart breaking to see the kind of damage that a man can do to a woman he "loves" when he breaks her down mentally and emotionally. she gets to a point where she feels that she deserves that kind of awful treatment. makes me sick. anyway, i just wish people would recognize this and stop putting more women seeking help into jeopardy. ok, stepping off the soap box now...

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Maybe? could be... 

Maybe there's still more to tell. maybe i'm reading a book right now on the eastern view of consciousness. maybe the eastern view of the world intrigues me at the moment. maybe i thought it was a total load of crap that last night on 7th heaven a chick who supposedly opposes bush and the war is signing up to become military police... what, she opposes the war but wants to strip the prisoners naked and tie leashes around their necks? give me a break.

maybe it was hard for me to listen to a lot of people with the "my country, right or wrong" attitude this weekend. maybe one of them had a good heart behind what she proposed the US do, but was seriously misguided. maybe i'm looking back on it now and wondering why the hell i didn't counter her argument. maybe i was surprised to encounter people who still believed that every muslim person hated americans and wanted to obliterate us. maybe i'm glad to be away from that now.

maybe i got fun gifts this weekend during my travels. maybe i got a handmade bar of soap from the himalayas, an all natural soy candle, homemade tortillas, ready to go muffin mix, gas money, and a recipe for australian pot pies. maybe it felt like an early birthday with such generosity.

maybe i got picked up over the weekend. maybe it was during my roomietta's graduation party. maybe it gave me a laugh and a thrill. maybe this waiter was checking me out every time he walked past our party (serving the room next to ours) and had his friend follow us out of the restaurant, stop me, and tell me that the guy with blonde spiky hair wanted him to give me his digits. maybe that made me think i was a couple years too old for him.

maybe i'm restless yet lazy at the same time today and need to figure out what to do to solve this unrest. maybe i'll check back later...

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Maybe it's been a while... 

Maybe it's been a while since i've used my hook. maybe it's time i brought it back. maybe i can't sleep tonight so i'm deciding to write down some of the thoughts that are running through my head. maybe i have a lot to think about tonight.

maybe i started wondering about hugging tonight. maybe i wonder if most people hug their former professors. maybe i had a better connection with some of my profs and kept in touch better than many other students. maybe i'm eternally grateful for the intellectual rigor they brought to the table. maybe i was a memorable student for one reason or the other. maybe i just had caring profs.

maybe i wonder if we live in a hugging culture or if i'm just a huggable person. maybe several people i just met on saturday night hugged me as they were leaving by the end of that night. maybe it's because they're just like that, maybe it's because we live in a hugging culture, or maybe it's because i seem approachable and thus huggable. maybe i have no idea which it is. maybe i don't care that much... maybe i just realized it was kind of interesting.

maybe i long to be pinned down and kissed passionately... a kiss that sets me on fire all the way down to my toes. maybe that's what i should try to dream about so i can finally fall asleep. yes, maybe so.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Monday, May 17, 2004

David Spade... 

Ah yes, good ol' david spade. happened to see he'd be on ellen today, and it inspired this entry. i feel a connection to him... here's why.

a) we share the same birth date (not year).
b) he looks like a much shorter version of a guy i know.
c) i met him on my prom night. he was staying at the same hotel that my friends and i were at, and came in about a minute after us. he was tipsy and had just finished a show downtown. he asked if we had just gotten married (nobody was in white, but whatever), then took a picture with us before we parted ways.

anyway, randomness but i can share whatever i want, so there ya go.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.

ah yes, an update. the fiancee just got promoted, and the best friend is safe.


Self-centered phone user... 

New rule: i'm on a cell phone-- you're not allowed to waste my time. now i realize that many prick corporate stiffs want this rule as well, but when you only have a cell phone and you're a poor college student, you really need it. i want them to create business lines that display a special message if somebody is calling from a cell phone. something that prevents them from putting you on hold for any length of time.

why the rant? lemme explain. got a letter from the school saying that if payment wasn't posted by tomorrow i would be withdrawn from non-payment. yikes! it was for maymester, but i'm not in maymester. i was confused, but didn't want to be kicked out of school, so i found the number and called. actually, i have the financial aid number saved on my phone because i've dealt with them so much. anyway, i call and get busy signals. then i call the automated status number, figuring that i could check for myself. it doesn't go through. so i try and try and finally get through to be put on hold. finally, they say all my stuff is good to go but i better call the bursar office to make sure that they know i'm not in maymester and don't withdraw me. ok. look up their number, call them, busy. call again, get through, but get put on automated hold. then a woman picks up and puts me on hold. why the automated hold if you'll do it in person anyway?! whatever. she finally talks to me and confirms that all of this was pointless. they just sent me a letter for no reason. yippee. i have more to say, but it's on a completely different topic, so it gets to be posted separately.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Back again... 

Did you guys miss me? did you even know i was gone? did you forget about me? hopefully the answers are yes, yes, and NO! :)

well i went to my roomietta's graduation this weekend, and it was so great to get to hang out again! i also saw her family again, which is always nice. and some of my other favorite people... former suities (suitemates), friends, profs, etc. it's always great to catch up with amazing people. i am also realizing how incredibly lucky i was to get some of these profs that helped and encouraged my revolution into the woman i am today. i still remember them, and they me. they were also very interested in hearing what i'm up to and how i'm going to transform the world. and seeing some of my best friends from college was also incredible. it was definitely a warm and fuzzy time. one of them will probably come try to visit during the summer since she's taking a month off to relax. some of the others made promises to keep in touch better in the future. i just can't say enough how much i love my friends!!! then as a bonus, i stopped on my drive back to visit my brother and sister-in-law, and finally got to see their place. we ate lunch together and people watched in one of the most interesting cities for that.

so on the drive home i decided to scan for radio stations rather than listen to the CDs that i forgot to switch out before i headed back. since i'd already heard all of them on the way down, i wanted something new, but wasn't about to stop on the side of the road to switch them out. the downside of a 6-disc... you have to have forethought. but hey, i'm definitely not complaining. so anyway, i heard something very surprising. apparently avril lavigne has a new song that will become the anthem for teen abstinence. i find the whole idea amusing. i mean, it's great that they have a role model kind of song, unless of course she does a 180 like all the other little teen pop stars and turns slutty... but i find it funny that there's an anthem for abstinence. will everyone really use that song to remind themselves to keep their virginity? or turn down a date's advances by referencing the song? or really do anything more than sing along to the catchy lyrics when it comes on the radio? i'm just curious.

more exciting news... i came home to an empty apartment!!! well, not truly empty because she left all my stuff (otherwise it would have been a very very bad thing), but there's no more roommate. hallelujah! the office sent a letter to her (and all the others moving out) explaining in detail how spotlessly clean everything had to be. although she didn't get quite that anal, she did actually clean. the first time in her entire time here. but hey, i'm just glad she did! it means that when i clean now, i'm cleaning up what i got dirty and not her old residue. she also actually left on good terms. i don't think she meant to be as bad as she was... i think she was pretty oblivious and self-centered, and didn't have a clue about how to have a roommate. but she cleaned before she left, wrote me goodbye and good luck, and even left a check to cover some of this month's bills. did she actually mature some in this past month? maybe, or maybe she knew she needed to leave things better than how she had. at any rate, i'm pretty quick to forgive and am willing to take it all. it won't erase the stresses of this past year, but it will mean things ended well. well anyway, that's what's up with me lately. i'll write a second installment shortly. of course i still have more to say ;) and my friend BIC wants another entry devoted to him. the narcissist! haha, we'll see...

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Thursday, May 13, 2004

The good things in life... 

Blogging. if you're a social person who loves to write, it's addictive. i have always liked sharing my thoughts, and writing out my ideas, so being able to combine the two is fantastic. but one thing... i know the wonderful people at blogger just revamped the entire site and still have a few kinks to work out, but i get a little anxious when i see the dreaded "Page cannot be displayed" every time i try to publish a post. not good.

Gummi worms. i told my friend i would get her some goodies for her trip, and she loves gummi bears and worms. so i got her some and a bag for myself. i forgot the goodness of gummi worms.

Internet. although i am not addicted to the internet, it is so convenient to be able to check emails, the news, etc any time of the day or night. you forget that when you don't have it for awhile.

Fru-fru coffees and yummy teas. they are so nice and relaxing... and delicious! yummmmm!

Friends. friends, friends, friends. And family, too, of course. i can't emphasize enough how important wonderful and amazing people are to me. i have so many incredible friends and relatives that just make me happy, make me laugh, make me think, make be stive for excellence, make me be a better person. i love them all!!!

ok, enough of the love-fest. i've gotta pack!

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Stop 'n' go... 

That is a good nickname for my apartment right now. i just got home from spending most of the week with a friend just relaxing. we did a whole lotta nothing, read, watched movies, and tanned by the pool. i have a hot sizzling piece of ass now... literally... because my butt got burned. it's fine, though, thankfully. i'm only home briefly to unpack and repack for the weekend. i have a couple hours before i leave to hang with my friend mo before she goes to india. i might be staying at my parents' house since they live much closer to mo's mom's house, but who knows. then tomorrow morning i'm leaving to see all my college friends graduate. yay for my roomietta! i'm excited. not about the long drive, but it'll be great once i get there. i'll probably get home sometime on sunday or monday. who knows what will be going on next week. i need to pick up my new TV from my parents' house, get a bridesmaid dress, and i have to make a list of apartment complexes to look at. i only have one day in which i can go find a good and affordable apartment to move into in august, so i have to be efficient. i also have to take my car in for a ton of maintenance things. any of you happen to work for a VW dealer and be willing to comp me some work and/or labor? i'd really appreciate it!!!

want to know something exciting?! when i come back on sunday, my roommate will be gone! incredible. at times i thought this time would never come...

i feel as though this almost-month of relaxation and nothingness has very quickly become jam-packed. oh well... it's easier to get it done without the school/work burdens than with them. hope you all have a great weekend, and i'll be back pretty soon to give more updates.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Monday, May 10, 2004

Growing up... 

sucks. i just spent my entire morning and afternoon on the stupid loan stuff, and of course, dealing with multiple computer crashes. i searched for a lender, i read through their stuff, i found one that had a good deal, only to find that it contradicted itself, and they didn't even know what they offered, so i had to find another one, do the entrance counseling, read over the terms and conditions of handing over my life, the details of how i would be burned at the stake if i failed to hold up any part of my bargain, chose a lender that will hopefully be decent, etc etc. i love the kind, blunt langauge that they use in the loan process: "if you die, the loan will be cancelled." oh yay, what with all that dying i did, i wasn't able to continue working on a regular basis and was at risk of defaulting on the loan i got 8 years ago. sheesh. i'm still not even sure if the school will get my money in time for the summer session. sadly, i did all of this in order to finish my schooling, so i can be underpaid, under-appreciated, and overworked for the rest of my life. yay me.

oh well... hopefully i'll get to pack up and go play in the sun for a couple days now. i didn't want this loan stuff hanging over my head, which is why i had to work it all out this morning and afternoon. but before i go, a good thing... i got the chance to catch up with a couple good friends recently. seems like i've been living in a cave this past semester with barely enough time to take a breath, but luckily these old friendships are stronger than one bad semester. ok, packing it all up and heading on out. if you have my cell you can get in touch... if you don't i guess you'll have to leave loving and adoring comments and/or emails for me to get when i reach the internet again. not exactly sure when that will be, but i may write updates to post when i return to an internet connection. be on the lookout for back dated or extra long posts for multiple days. you know i can't go too long without writing! until then...

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Sunday, May 09, 2004

Bizarro world... 

Weird. they just changed the blogger site on me, and it's throwing me for a loop. i'll have to get used to where everything is now. oh well, we all have to, and we're all smart people. no biggie.

so who wants an update on the lives of my neighbors in da ghetto? i knew you did. it's not about the girl anymore, apparently. it's about you and me... going toe to toe to settle this right now. right in front of my door, and then shoving into my front door and precariously close to going over my balcony. yes, that's right. always nice to have another dent added to the door from another fight. but at least i don't have a big ass dent on the hood of my car from one of them actually falling off the balcony. and of course i would feel bad that they fell two stories. let's just hope that everyone around me is moving out at the end of may. i'm stuck till august, but hopefully the crazy neighbors won't be too.

i spent an enjoyable weekend with the fam, and i think my mom had a good mother's day. we went to the fair trade event and to the meeting of a grassroots organization in which my parents are involved. we also discussed moving to canada where bush isn't playing around in hitler's old uniforms. oops! did i say that out loud?! sorry... where bush is taking too many liberties with what used to be our civil liberties and where he and his cabinet only apologize for getting caught, not for their actions. eesh. to you canadian readers, how is it up there? is the US corrupting that far north? i'd really consider moving if i could organize a mass exodus with some of my close friends. lemme know if you wanna come with. i still need to change the world. there is much work to be done. ok, i'm losing focus and i still have to find a lender. sadly, i was so desperate to avoid this hassle, that i actually cleaned out some of the old clutter that has accumulated through this semester. that makes me feel better, but doesn't secure my tuition for the summer session. erg, guess i better get to it. plans are still pretty up in the air for this week, but i'll probably be poolside at a friend's house where internet is not considered a necessity (oh the horrors!). translation: if i disappear, it's because i don't have interent access. i may find some every once in a while, though, so keep checking back! you know i can't go too terribly long without writing out my thoughts.

ok, congrats to the grads and to the mothers. hope both of your days were fantastic! love you guys! *muah!*

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Friday, May 07, 2004

Busy day... 

Just had a fun girl's day. woke up sore and running out of time this morning, though. never a great sign. got the necessitites done, but that meant no morning update. i'm in a short interlude between getting other things done and going out for a mother's day dinner. i feel out of it today. driving home i felt like i was in a tunnel the whole way. like i would move forward when there was room to move forward, all you can really expect in rush hour, and i would forget to look around me. i'm normally a very conscientious driver, and i can't really say that i liked not being one. oh well... i'm home safely now and so are all the people who were driving around me.

it's a beautiful day and i'm excited for the grads who will get to graduate on another gorgeous day tomorrow! congrats to katie especially... i love ya girl! i'll be at a fair trade event tomorrow, and i'm excited. you should all be informed that tomorrow is the official Fair Trade Day. so go out and buy a fair trade product and feel good about yourself because you just helped give somebody a living wage. my personal favorites are fair trade chocolates, coffees, and teas. yummm! but until then, i'll eat other food with mi familia tonight. have a great night!

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Thursday, May 06, 2004

A day in the life... 

Today was an unusual day, filled with things that rarely happen. i woke up with a surprising amount of energy... i am not in any way what could be construed as a morning person. then i decided to use this energy to work out. i never work out. it felt good, though. i did weights, then some yoga, then tried meditating. it was very nice, but i still had too much energy to burn to last very long in meditation. it was like expecting a little ADHD kid on a sugar high to sit through church. but it was a good start. i'll try again tomorrow. i had an interesting revelation, though. while both yoga and meditation are spiritual, yoga focuses on the self, and meditation focuses on everything but the self. oh, if you're wondering why i was MIA all day, the computer had to undergo a bit of a cleansing today. it's been having problems, so i scandisked, defragged, and removed adware. took all day, but i think (i hope) it's working better now. and in a way, it was kind of nice to not use the computer during the day.

i also got a mother's day gift for my mom today, and a bright blue margarita glass in anticipation of our upcoming days hanging poolside. ok, and i splurged a little on another new book to read (again, poolside) and a CD of calming music. i'm pumped. of course tonight i watched the final friends and then ER. ok, i'm sure i'll be back tomorrow to write more. although i'll be having a girls day with lunch and a movie, then heading home so my mom and i can go to a fair trade event on saturday... but i'll try to write in the morning. until then... catch the enthusiasm!!! it might be contagious! ;-)

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Ode to Vortexia... 

"There once was a girl named smartie... she tried to steal my heartie... she lived in a trailer but I found a jailbaiter... smartie had to take second fiddle"

*Fiddle solo*
*Mouth harp solo*

This brilliant piece of work is by our favorite crazy and beloved IMer... BIC. Yes, he has resurfaced once again, and created this breathtaking song just for me. When asked about it he replied, "my lyrics are like my children." Truly.

As we continued to talk, he admitted to reading an article entitled "How to impress a woman in 60 seconds." He shared his newfound knowledge with me. The pointers are as follows:
1. Don't use some corny opening line as an icebreaker.
2. Try fighting that compulsion to stare at her chest.
3. Don't check out other women while talking to her.
4. Ask questions.
5. Compliment... but in moderation.
He said the first 3 were gold. I told him that his pitfalls would be 1, 2, 4, and 5, but mostly 1. His response? "People find my cornyness attractive." I had to tell him the truth. "Sweetheart? I think they're giving you pity laughs." He replied, "My therapist said that's all I can hope for." Awww, poor guy. lol. But he's always a good sport. For those of you who think I just blatantly exploit the guy, I do ask permission before posting. So there ya go, more of BIC's brilliance!

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Feliz cinco de mayo! 

Hola, feliz cinco de mayo! en honor de cinco de mayo, voy a escribir en español, y estoy escuchando a "muscia de margarita." creo que necesito beber una margarita esta noche. mmm, margarita! ay, ahorita necesito escribir mi papel final para mi clase de noche. ay ay ay. voy a regresar...

Hi, happy cinco de mayo! in honor of cinco de mayo, i'm going to write in spanish, and i'm listening to "margarita music." i think i need to drink a margarita tonight. mmmmm, margarita! awww, right now i have to write my final paper for my night class. ay ay ay. i'll be back...

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


This one's for the guys... 

If you want a car that proclaims "i have a lot of sex," then go buy a BMW, but whatever you do, don't buy a porsche... you'll look impotent. ok, that's not quite accurate, but according to a german magazine survey, BMW owners have the most sex, followed by audi and VW. sadly, owners of korean-made cars and porsches get the least. i'm sure this survey was highly scientific and accurate. goodness knows that men are totally honest and never exaggerate how much they sex they get. lol... nonetheless, i found the results amusing, and thought i'd share.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Dreamin' of you... 

Just woke up for a very strange dream. in it, i was back in a high school style classroom, and we were all required to come up with a script for a skit to demonstrate some positive interaction or skill. one skit went, and i was acting like the class clown and cracking jokes with the people in my class. i was supposed to go next, and i was really pumped about how funny and good my skit would be, but then the bell rang. as we left, we had to enter a crowd of people leaving a choir concert, and i lost my group of friends in the crush. they had kind of gotten fed up with my antics, so it was hard to follow them. so i went down a different stairwell than them, and as i reached the entryway, one of the girls from the class called me over to the picnic table where she and a few other girls from the class were eating lunch. she complimented me on my personality and told me that in her religion i held a very positive characteristic called "disparting" or something like that. she said it was kind of like a strong charisma that helped draw others toward me and make them want to hang around me. i tried repeating the word so i could remember it, but every time i said disparting, she said i was saying it wrong. after trying several times, i just acted like i finally got it the last time, and said thank you and left. then as i crossed over to the other stairwell to meet my friends, i saw that they had turned into 6 year old choir girls. i just stared at them in bewilderment. then my alarm went off. how bizarre huh?! anyway, just figured i'd share.

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Tuesday, May 04, 2004


Yes, i make up my own words from time to time. i also make up my own analogies on occasion. thus, the perfect word to address both words... analogizing.

to try and lead somebody through a practice that is routine to you yet entirely foreign to another is like pulling your fallen partner for the 3-legged race behind you to the finish line. it is a painful endeavor for both parties... for you because you feel like you're pulling dead weight, and for your partner because their ass is getting pulled through grass and mud as they get bruised and bloody. ok, a little morbid there... anyway. i have always been one to think ahead into the future. to plan. to figure out what i'm going to do and then go full steam ahead to achieve it. although i don't usually write out goals, i have the goals and the game plan all set up in my head. this practice is apparently foreign to some. for example, some people expect life to magically fall into place within a rough time frame with little to no planning. they may work towards some aspects, neglect others, and delay others indefinitely when it isn't fun. looking for a job isn't fun, saving money isn't fun, growing up isn't fun. i'll agree... i don't enjoy this stuff either, but it gets done. i sat my ass down in the computer chair yesterday afternoon and started researching lenders to get the best deal on my student loan. not fun, but necessary. it's frustrating to see a person you know keep the same goals for several years and never make the first step toward reaching them. it's hard for me to understand. i definitely know that we all have our faults, and i can be prone to this (and major procrastination issues!) as well, but not to that extent. at some point, you have to get sick enough of the stage you're in to decide to move forward. i do at least. being stagnant and waiting isn't fun at a certain point either. anyway, this is the frustration i faced tonight. and i shared it because, well, i needed to. missing the visitors and the commentage. suggestions to keep you coming back? advice, comments, random thoughts? i know we're all busy right now... ~nothin but love, baby!

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Da dat da da dum... 

So i'm realizing that i may need to change my phone's ring. half the time i don't hear it, and the other half of the time i think i hear it, but it's just a jingle on TV. TV you say? yes, the sound magically came back... for the time being at least.

last day at work... it was enjoyable, laid back, i actually felt like dressing cutesy in one of the several new skirts i bought with the ambitious notion that i'd feel up to wearing a skirt as i got dressed at 6 something a.m. the final evaluation was stellar! everything went well and i got the highest rating possible. woohoo!!!!! :) i was sad that i was going, and everyone else was sad as well. they made me promise to come back and visit, and i agreed. ok, short entry, more to do, might try another update later tonight. i wanna hear from you!

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Monday, May 03, 2004

This is goodbye... 

Talked to a couple great friends from home tonight, did some email catching up, and had to say goodbye to some grad school friends for the summer today. overall, a busy and social day. i'm also working my way through the list of lenders to see where i can get the best deal, but i'm not finding any that will say they'll forgive some of the loan if i work at a non-profit upon graduation. i've heard they're out there, but have yet to find them. so we shall see. if any of you happen to know, please guide me in the right direction! last last day at the internship tomorrow, in theory i'll only be there for a couple hours, but we'll see. it's going to be hard to say goodbye to those wonderful people. i desperately wish i could work there, but i don't meet a single requirement yet. boo. oh well. it's late, i need to be alert for my final evaluation, and i've been told they are required to criticize us. i'll be interested if any of that actually happens because she has never said a disparaging word about me. i won't be crushed if she does, though, because i know they can't be all happy and sugar-coated. anyway, off to bed and to prepare for a sad final day of goodbyes. until tamale...

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


Sunday, May 02, 2004

Stuff and all... 

Wow, it seems like it's been so long! well let's see... we had a grrrrrrreat time at our girly slumber party. several of the girls flaked, so there were only 5 of us (down from an original number of 12), but those who came are wonderful, fun, and all get along great. so we had a blast! we had way too much food and alcohol for 5 people, so we stuffed ourselves full. K and i had purchased several alcoholic options so everyone would have something they liked, but we ended up being the only ones in the 5 who drank. so we had a few and will save the rest as a nice little stash for our pool relaxation days. the party was a funny mix of 8-year-old slumber party meets adults getting crazy. i think we need more of that.

yesterday K and i worked on a debate for one of our LAST classes (yay!) and then bummed around. we went to see godsend and snuck in McD's since we had worked through lunch. due to a traumatic incident with a fry and the smell of horse manure, i don't think i can ever eat their fries without thorough inspection, though. when i finally headed back home, J came over. it was a strange night. some very good and some very crappy parts.

today i had to deal with the pea-brained customer support representative of my cellular service provider of choice. first i'd just like to say that i'm sick of all the good deals going to new customers. what about those of us who have stuck with the same company for over 5 years? what kind of appreciation do we get? nothing. that needs to change. when my contract expires i want to become a free agent, baiting each company that they need to give me the best deal and create some special deal just for me because i'm such a valuable customer. but i digress... this bumbling idiot in customer service picks up my call, i explain what the problem is, and he fumbles for several minutes. i'm quiet because i assume he's taking care of it and just isn't into the small talk or explaining everything he's doing thing. several minutes later he asks for the phone number and name on the account. deciding to be a generous person, i didn't tell him off and gave him the benefit of the doubt in case he had just gotten out of training or something. he bumbles around for several more minutes before i ask if he can see the extra charge on my account. he kind of says yes. after twenty minutes of silently screaming because i wanted to hurt him, i asked if there was a problem with removing the charge. at that point he admits that he really has no idea how to do any of that so he'll transfer me to somebody higher up. that exchange should have occurred after one minute. i clearly stated what the problem was, and if he didn't know how to handle it he could have just said so and saved twenty minutes of my life. how much longer would that have continued if i hadn't asked him what was wrong? geez. so the higher level person wasn't a customer service person even, but she quickly and effectively handled my problem and wrote a note in my account that i didn't want the package added to my account again. she was nice and even wished me a good weekend at the end of it. thank you to her, and i hope they really did record that other conversation so she can call him up to her office and fire him. idiot.

ok, on to better news... tomorrow i only have to attend one of my three classes. yay! i will represent one side of a debate on homelessness, sit back the rest of the class, then turn in a final paper for my second class (without having to go to said class), then go home and enjoy the little breath of freedom. unfortunately i will also have to do more financial aid, loan application crap and one last assignment for my wednesday night class. but hopefully i can at least get it done and out of the way for the rest of the week. ok, with an optimistic attitude for tomorrow... goodnight!

P.S. Keep them in your prayers.


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