Friday, April 30, 2004
Yay for J...
Sorry there was no updatage last night. J came over, and he takes precedence. he gave me flowers and 2 CDs. i had told him i would see the punisher movie with him just for the awesome music in it... so he gave me the soundtrack. yay! and the new drowning pool CD. while i don't know if dave williams can really be topped, especially considering his personality and everything, the new lead singer is a pretty close match in the voice department. i find it funny when i leave work as this super sweet, young, innocent, teacherish (because that's not really what i am) person, get in my car, and when i turn it on i'm blasting hard rock. must throw people for a curve. but i love all music, and sometimes you just need the really loud, angry music. anyway....
so J came over last night. made up for some of his stupidity of the last 2 weeks that prevented us from seeing each other. it was rough, but at the same time i was so busy that it didn't kill me. although if he had been working as the girlfriend pit crew, then he would his presence would have been greatly appreciated and rewarded. i've missed getting to make out for hours. and cuddle. i got to fall asleep in his arms, which is so great, except when he has to wake me up an hour later to let him out. i am not one of those people who wakes up easily. and i'm not the nicest person when you wake me up and i'm still tired. since we had just been cuddling and listening to the CD, we planned on staying awake. then he said he'd leave before i fell asleep, so i wasn't disoriented and half-asleep when he left. oops... he fell asleep. so i fell asleep. so i still had to be woken up. oh well. now that i've gotten sleep i'm ok.
i certainly hope that my wall-mate is moving out in may. especially after last night. we put on the punisher CD (haha, you weren't expecting barry white were you?) to drown out a little of the wall-mate's music. not even a minute later, he had jacked his music up even louder so we had to struggle to hear our loud music. so i decided that we should screw with him. i said very loudly into the wall "man, it's really going to suck having to take down these bondage chains when i move!" and J chimed in "yeah, and that sex swing too!" i collapsed onto the bed laughing. and to the people who are wondering, i've never even touched any bondage equipment and certainly am not planning on using any.... ever. the wall-mate also talks on his phone right outside my window, so i guess i'll find out this afternoon if he heard me or not. i seriously doubt he did because his music was loud enough that we could have just listened to it through the wall and heard every word.
our TV is out. the sound just flat out died. so i tried to read friends last night until i got frustrated. i'll have to go TV shopping at some point soon. i think i'll try to learn yoga this summer. yoga, laying out by the pool, swimming, reading a good book, sipping a frozen margarita. K and i already have our summer planned. i may just live with her for a little while. well i have a busy day ahead of me. our end of school bash is tonight, so i have to get everything ready so i can leave at 3. yipes!
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Wednesday, April 28, 2004
I'm a little bit o' everything...
one thing i can say about myself is that i'm passionate. i find something i'm interested in or that i want to do and i go full force ahead. don't bother holding me back. talking to a friend just now about her cousin, i was reminded of a quote out of the bible that i LOVE. when i read it i thought, now this is why i seem different from other young people who are floundering around in oblivion. i'm smart, i'm sharp, i know what i want, i know how i'll get it, and i know the steps to take in order to get it. "don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity." -I timothy 4:12.
i just got distracted and left the computer. now coming back, i've lost the momentum on that original thought, so i'll take it in a different direction. i think it's 10 times more important what people's actions are than what they say they believe. people who act like they're the super-christian here to save the world but act like idiots just piss me off. i would much rather show love and compassion for humankind and never mention even having a faith, than act all self-righteous and full of hot air without any actions to back it up. i don't care how many quotes you can throw at me, if you're a horrible person, you're still a horrible person. lead by example. given the choice between a prick who can shout out quotes, alienate most of the world, and not lift a finger to help out the less fortunate or a teen who's pissed at the world, wants to stick it to the man, talks like a sailor, and still doesn't help the less fortunate but thinks their situation sucks, i would choose the teen every single time. phone's ringing... gotta run!
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Tuesday, April 27, 2004
Tell it like it is...
Attention all: you need to read this poem. i love it and it seems so current (especially the part about dead minds in higher places) even though it was written in the late 1950s. sharing beauty and intelligence is my job. i'll save the latest idiocies of life for tomorrow in order to leave this poem pristine and powerful. enjoy!
The world is a beautiful place
to be born into
if you don't mind happiness
not always being
so very much fun
if you don't mind a touch of hell
now and then
just when everything is fine
because even in heaven
they don't sing
all the time
The world is a beautiful place
to be born into
if you don't mind some people dying
all the time
or maybe only starving
some of the time
which isn't half so bad
if it isn't you
Oh the world is a beautiful place
to be born into
if you don't much mind
a few dead minds
in the higher places
or a bomb or two
now and then
in your upturned faces
or such other improprieties
as our Name Brand society
is prey to
with its men of distinction
and its men of extinction
and its priests
and other patrolmen
and its various segregations
and congressional investigations
and other constipations
that our fool flesh
is heir to
Yes the world is the best place of all
for a lot of such things as
making the fun scene
and making the love scene
and making the sad scene
and singing low songs and having inspirations
and walking around
looking at everything
and smelling flowers
and goosing statues
and even thinking
and kissing people and
making babies and wearing pants
and waving hats and
dancing
and going swimming in rivers
on picnics
in the middle of the summer
and just generally
'living it up'
Yes
but then right in the middle of it
comes the smiling
mortician
~Lawrence Ferlinghetti
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Nail polish memories...
I remember having a police officer talk to my grade one year in middle or maybe even elementary school about saying no to drugs. i remember as he told us about inhalants that he mentioned that even nail polish fumes could be too much. i remember he shared that he would have to leave the room when his wife painted her nails because it smelled too bad for him. he was warning us about the dangers of smelling nail polish too long, but i began to think of weird things. i thought of his wife inhaling her nail polish after she drove him out of the room. i thought of all the rich women getting manicures to get high. i thought about how many of my teachers kept immaculately painted nails and wondered how many enjoyed the fumes. i thought about when i used nail polish and if it ever made me feel differently. i hate the smell of nail polish remover. it makes me want to gag. i also hate the smell of nail polish, but the remover is even worse. because of that, i could rarely handle taking off the nail polish after i used it. eventually i decided to stop wearing nail polish. it was a weird adjustment for awhile to have naked nails, but after a little while it was great. i never had to spend time on them, they always looked better than chipping paint, my nails were pretty and very healthy looking, and were better off than if i would have painted them. i was happy with it. last weekend was the first time i've used nail polish in years. just a clear polish to make my nails harder and shiny. hopefully will make me less likely to break or bend my nails or even worse to nick a slice of nail off with my razor. why am i making you read this crap? because i'm braving the nail polish remover tonight after so many years without it. and what did i think of as i opened the bottle and smelled the putrid odor? that police officer's wife secretly getting high, right under the nose (no pun intended) of the law enforcer to whom she was married. she was probably thinking "haha, sucker!" i will reapply the polish in a free moment because it did seem to help me avoid pain. ok, back to a paper. look for another post later tonight if i have time.
p.s. what else do i hate? proofreading. after i have written something i have zero desire to read it again. it's down on paper. that's the end of the line for me. so i hate having to read through something again to make sure it says what i wanted to say and that i didn't make grammar mistakes. yet i hate having mistakes. it's no win really. so i grit my teeth and proofread. but i loathe every minute of it. i know, more random crap you don't care about. ;)
P.P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Monday, April 26, 2004
Quickie...
Time crunch. quick update. don't feel like capitalizing. deal with it. so this is what BIC refers to as vortexia picante. you can enjoy her latest antics all week i'm sure and through the past couple entries.
good: i told my mom what a hell hole my apartment looks like because i haven't had a vacuum all semester (i know, disgusting). so the next morning she went to target, found a dirt devil on sale, and bought it for me. she then proceeded to take her sunday afternoon to drive over to the apartment to give it to me, spend all of 15 minutes here because i was busy frantically writing this paper, and leave again. (oh, and she also hunted down my box of checks and brought it with her too because i was down to 2 checks left!) that is the sweetest thing anybody's done for me in awhile. special thanks to my incredible mom!
bad: lately i've been suspicious when i locked and armed my car because it didn't make the normal sound of the lock slamming down. it's a pretty forceful noise, so you can hear it from the outside. this has happened for maybe a couple weeks, but i just dismissed it because i heard the little alarm chirp saying the car was locked and all was ok. tonight it really bugged me because the other day my door didn't automatically lock as it was supposed to and the switch to lock the door as i got into the car wasn't working either (dark parking lot, late at night, wanted to lock the door right away). all of this was really bothering me, so as i locked the car in the complex i listened carefully. i was sure i didn't hear to door lock. i couldn't see through the tint and dirt (also haven't had time for a car wash lately) to see for sure if the door was locked, so i tried opening the door. door opened right up!!! i tried to push the lock down so i would at least have it locked at that point. but no, trying to lock the door with the alarm still armed sets off the alarm. yes, because that makes sense. so i call J because he's the closest to a car guy who i know, and no garage would be open at 9:30 at night. i realized with a feeling of fear and thankfulness the number of times i'd come home late or left early, the not-so-safe complex and area where i work, the times when i went to the store late at night... all of this while essentially leaving my car unlocked. and entering the unlocked car unknowingly without making sure somebody hadn't decided to hide in it, try to steal it, or stolen stuff out of it (i don't think... guess i should check). and the fact that nobody had done any of that... amazing!!! so anyway, i called J, he said the actuator was probably dead, had no idea how much it would cost, but probably wasn't covered by the warranty. crap. just what i needed. as i described the full range of the problem, however, it started to sound like a bigger deal. even better. really. so i'll have to go in during my next free time... friday and hopefully get it fixed without emptying my bank account. of course. oh yeah, and did i explain the ordeal i have to go through in order to get all doors locked??! i have to unlock all the doors using the remote, get in the car, close the door, manually push down the lock, crawl over to the passenger seat, open that door and get out, and then lock the car with the remote. that's the only way to get all the doors locked. fabulous huh? and i'll let you know how that goes tomorrow as i try to maintain some form of dignity at work as the families see me (one of the youngest employees) crawling through my car. beautiful. please trust me with your child's life... really. oh well. enough of that. i'll survive. and only 4 things left to finish for this semester (week and a half). i can make it.
another good: let's end on a good note. i get to reward all this hard work on friday night with a girl's night. i already volunteered to bring the cosmo mix and vodka. i'll bring brownies or something too, but i think we all deserve a little alcohol after this semester. it has, without at doubt, been a bitch. but in a week and a half that will all be history. thank goodness!!!
ok, love you guys and thanks for sticking with me through this less-than-perfect time. i'm sure some of you don't need the added stress of hearing about my stress, so i'm sorry but i really do appreciate the readership and encouragement! *muah!*
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Saturday, April 24, 2004
Pissed is the mood of the day/week/month...
Lately I've felt out of place here. In the area where I work people drive below the speed limit, not 8 above. I don't care if you're driving here illegally because you're in the States illegally, just drive fast enough that you don't stick out like a sore thumb and don't piss me off. Today some idiot in a pick up cut me off at the last second because he didn't want to slow down while the punk in front of him turned. I slammed on the horn for a while and got even more upset when he WAVED at me afterward. Did I let you over? No. You took the road in front of me, nearly took off my bumper, and made me slow down. The waving pissed me off just enough to risk waving a special finger at him (which I normally don't do here because it can get you shot by a redneck), which he responded to by waving again. Must not have had his glasses on. Jerk. Then as my friend and I worked on our half of a group paper we realized, to our horror and disbelief, that the other girls' half was far from finished. There were citations missing that would have screwed us all for plagiarism, things were written that didn't make sense, ideas were repeated 3 times to fill a paragraph out to the 3rd grade requirement of 5 sentences per paragraph... it was bad. I wouldn't have gotten away with that kind of writing in high school! Of course we felt even worse because we were frustrated by friends. If it's random strangers you can get as livid and talk as much sh!t as you want about them because you don't care. With friends, we were just surprised that they considered it finished work. So we spent an extra few hours correcting their stuff and sending them a detailed email explaining the other problems that we were unable to fix because we weren't the ones who wrote it and knew what we were supposed to be saying. Oh, and on my way home I stopped at Office Depot to make photocopies. After I was done, I went to the copy desk to pay, and the guy just stared absentmindedly at me as he contemplated how much of an overbite he had. The guy stapling papers next to me kept looking up at me, so eventually I looked over at him to see what he wanted. He told me that I had to take my copies to the aisle cashiers to pay, so to correct him I gave up on being polite. I called out to overbite guy "hey, we can pay here, right?" He realized the reason I had been staring at him and holding up a dollar bill was because I was wanting to pay and leave his printing hell, not because I was hoping to put the dollar down his pants. Finally... payment exchanged like the good little citizen I am, although I could have walked out of there with my 16 copies for free.
Maybe I'm developing rage issues. If you only read this post and the one before it, you would tell me yes and please get into an anger management class. However, dear reader, this is crunch time. I did not get a Friday morning. I woke up at 9 to discover the tragedy mentioned below, pulled myself together to start a paper, then headed to a friend's only to work again. I did not get a Friday night. It was spent working on a group paper until 12:30. I did not get a lazy Saturday morning. I woke up at 9, ate, and started working on the same paper and presentation until about 4:30 in the afternoon. I will not get a Saturday night. It will be spent finishing the paper I started Friday morning. I will not get a lazy Sunday morning. It will be spent writing yet another paper (that's 3 for those who lost count) from beginning to end until I collapse exhausted, dirty, hungry, and bleary eyed into bed on Sunday night. Only to wake up at 7 on Monday morning to turn in two papers and give a presentation. This time of the semester is hell. If I have rage issues, I can only believe that they are a natural response to the circumstances I am facing. If I am still a ball of anger during a week where I have nothing more to do that read, watch TV, update my blog, and make it look prettier, then I will examine the possibility of rage issues. Until then... I'll be writing papers. And screaming profanities. And daring that damn cockroach to cross my path one more time.
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Friday, April 23, 2004
Just when you think it can't get any worse...
A formal, public apology to anyone and everyone who is waiting to hear from me. But before I do that, let me just say I fuc%ing hate spam. HATE IT. This morning I found yet another mound of spam sh!t waiting in my nice new pristine formerly virginal permanent email account. Somebody signed me up for an offer, and those people sold my soul to the spam devil who has been emailing me sh!t about 10 times a day. So this morning I checked my email to find more spam, hit shift + delete to permanently delete it from Outlook Express and saw what email hell looks like. Somehow it deleted my entire fuc%ing inbox... the whole damn thing... instead of that one email. Sh!t. I'm fuc%ed. And I was getting up early this morning because I already had a billion things to do before 4:00 when I had to leave for a friend's house to madly write a group paper. So I'm 2 hours behind schedule and screwed every which way. I emailed the help desk to see if they by any chance saved the emails sent to me in the last 4 months, but I can't say I'm holding my breath on that.
So a plea for help. If anybody reading this is a computer guru and thinks he/she can recover these lost emails, please let me know. I'm desperate. If I know you, I will feed you. If I don't know you I'll figure something out. Just please restore my faith in the fabled stories of computer gods. And restore my sanity. You'd really be doing a favor to society. Thank you in advance.
Now the formal apology. If you were waiting to hear from me, you will have to wait patiently for another couple days. I definitely won't get to it today, and I won't be home all of tonight and tomorrow because I'll be at my friend's house. Sunday may or may not happen, depending on how much I can get done with what time I have left today. I promise you that I will get back to you (and if you were one of the emails that got deleted then I will get back to you if I remember or knew that you emailed). Mo, I keep promising that we'll get together. I'm so sorry, but we absolutely have to before you leave. Give me a call if it's getting close to that time to remind me if we haven't gotten together. Anyone who emailed the address I have for this site, I still have your emails. They aren't downloaded to OE. You're stuff is safe, just sitting in limbo until the next free moment. Please leave me something happy, encouraging, something so I don't have a break down.
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Thursday, April 22, 2004
To do list...
Sorry this is another short one. This week has drained me. I'll be getting up in the morning to tackle the giganormous to do list, though, so I'll write something better then.
Oh, and a special THANKS to the fabulous people behind Haloscan, especially Jeevan. He offered special attention to an email I sent, made the appropriate corrections, and got everything fixed up and working again. You can't get that kind of service most places. Especially when it's a free service. Thank you Jeevan on behalf of all of us who us Haloscan and my comment section.
Oh, and thanks for the fun fortune cookie messages. Nobody was harmed in the process of creating these messages, despite the allegations that a person was held hostage in a fortune cookie plant. If this incident occurred, it was merely coincidental and was not masterminded by the woman behind the blog. Keep 'em coming if you want to post more! Ok, that's it for me tonight... check back mid morning for more!
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Wednesday, April 21, 2004
KISS...
Keep it simple sweetie. It's late. I've been busy until just now. I don't have time for anything profound. I'm going to give everyone a fun activity to post in the comments. I love reading the comments, so I want to put you guys on display.
Write something fun, happy thoughts, profound thoughts, whatever.
Or if you need a more structured activity: Create your own fortune cookie message for me.
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Tuesday, April 20, 2004
We have too much to remember...
Tragedy. Nobody likes it. Well I hope not at least. But youngprofessional reminded us that yesterday was the anniversary of the Oklahoma City Bombing, and the news reminded me that today was the anniversary of the shootings at Columbine High School. Bam, bam, one after the other (in different years of course). I still remember so much of both of them. I think it's probably best that these events stay ingrained... if we forgot about them, then history is doomed to repeat itself. I remember talking about Oklahoma City, at that awkward age where you want to be like an adult who grasps the enormity of the tragedy, yet still child-like enough to feel a little removed from it all. Maybe partially because the victims were either older or younger than us, partially because it was decided that the schools shouldn't talk about it so the parents could broach the subject with their children as they saw fit. We still talked about it. I knew parents who should have been in the building, but for one reason or another were lucky enough to not be there.
Then Columbine. I remember the fear. What if our school was next? I was then old enough to fully grasp, and the age group of those involved was the same as mine. I remember talking in class about the tragedy, about our English teacher being a wreck as she tried to deal with her own emotions, discuss it with us, and help us deal with the grieving. I remember the tapes of the incident playing endlessly on TV. Then later came the specials, the audio recordings of 911 calls, interviews with survivors... we were literally inundated with the tragedy. Then came the copycats. Schools had to adopt lockdown procedures. We had an incident involving gang retribution and a plan to take down the lunch room in a blaze of gunfire. The school wouldn't excuse absences or publicly acknowledge the plan, despite EVERYONE in the school knowing when and where it was going to happen. Snipers were posted on the roof of the building across the street. The entire school was put under lockdown. I told my mom, and I still called in sick. Missing one day of class would never have been worth sacrificing my life to a stupid fight. No shots were fired. Nobody was killed. We were lucky. Unfortunately, so many others were not. Possibly just as sad is the apathy and immunity that developed around school shootings.
The following year I conducted research on media violence using biofeedback techniques. Clips were shown of reality violence (Columbine), fictional violence, and cartoon violence. Although the study would never have passed the muster of a scientific journal, it demonstrated that people were no longer affected by the images of Columbine. I find that sad. I could make thousand of hypotheses on why that is and criticize various aspects of society and individuals, but I won't. There are too many possibilities for me to pull out only a couple, and I don't have the time or energy to discuss them all. I just wanted to reflect and share some of my own thoughts on the tragedies we are remembering this week.
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Monday, April 19, 2004
Can you hear me??
So I'm losing my voice big time tonight. I'm in a rush. I HAVE to get to bed asap. Major drama of course. What the hell does it mean to have your building be under a fire watch?! Maybe I need to take all my worldly possessions to work with me tomorrow just to make sure I still have them when I get home from work. Then, just as I walked into the kitchen, I saw super-cockroach crawling down my cabinets! EEEEEEEK!!! I ran into my room to get a shoe to kill it with all my might, but he saw me coming and ducked into oblivion. Damn him. So the complex will be getting a call from me tomorrow... of course. Hi, so ummm, what's a fire watch? And spray for bugs! Spray them all dead! Uggg. I need sleep. I needed to sleep an hour and a half ago. Of course like always this was supposed to be a day when I would get to bed early because I got out of class early and could get my to-do list knocked off and get some sleep. But then life happens. Go figure.
Oh yeah! I nearly had a heart attack again tonight as I tried to call J. The phone was picked up, I heard police and ambulance sirens, then it went dead. I tried calling back and it went straight to voicemail. Mild panic. First impulse was that he got a speeding ticket and was trying not to piss off the officer by taking a call during the ordeal. Then it processed that there was an ambulance siren too. Freaked out. Called his family. If he was headed to or in a hospital I sure needed to be there. His mom answered. She wasn't sure where he went but his brother said he had mentioned something about going out with L. Not sure, but they'd have him call when he got home. Ok. So now I don't know if they weren't contacted yet by the authorities or if something else was going on. Called my parents to ask what a fire watch was and discuss what will happen in the next year of my life. Mostly the next internship placement. More stress on top of the million things due in the last 2 weeks of class. (On the phone with mom when I discovered the roach.) After that call, I immediately called J back and he answered, surprised I was still up that late. I explained it and he said he felt really bad. He and L had gone to see the Whole 10 Yards and he didn't know he bumped the speaker button of the phone as he turned it off. The movie just happened to be in a scene with ambulance and police sirens. Profuse apologies and calming of nerves. Life went on as usual... but hoarser. Time for bed. Goodnight moon.
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Sunday, April 18, 2004
Big Brother Is Watching...
I got that feeling last night.
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Saturday, April 17, 2004
Here's the plan...
Ok people, here's the plan. Anybody willing to help, leave your name and suggestions in the comments. I want to become Yellowcard's violinist. So... I will go to the Van's Warped Tour. I will seduce a security guard to get back stage. Once I'm back there, I will body check the current violinist out of place and will take over. They will love me and my take-charge attitude so much that I will permanently replace the former/current violinist. They will also give me the electric violin. I will continue the tour with them. Sweet. I see no flaws with this plan. Let me know if you wanna get in on this action. I might let you tour with me/us. K, now back to getting ready. It's a good hair day. Gettin sexy with it...
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Maybe there is much work to get done...
maybe i'm taking a quick break. maybe my dad makes the world's best potato soup. maybe i wanted some last night. maybe i want to change the channel every time i see that the olsen twins are making a movie. maybe i never could stand them... even as the baby on full house. maybe i wonder if oprah is freaked out by gay people. maybe i wonder if anyone will ever confront her about it. maybe i got a recall notice for my car today. maybe i'm typing in between bites of easy mac. maybe i have too much work to do and better get back to it. but maybe i'm feeling better today. maybe i got a fortune cookie that spoke the truth. maybe this is what it says: "you are affectionate and loyal to those you love." maybe that's it for now.
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Friday, April 16, 2004
The Apprentice...
i planned on writing about the apprentice finale last night, but i didn't feel up to it. i think omarosa is the devil incarnate. she's evil. she lost kwame a job. i would've fired her ass so fast... but anyway. i also find it interesting that trump is so strong and stoic yet so loyal. he's a complex man. on one hand, he dates a chick who loves jessica simpson, but just stands stone-faced during the concert. i know, he probably dates her for the sex. back to my point... you see him as a solid man's man, yet he told bill and kwame that he loved both of them. woah! that caught me off guard. especially since he acted like a destructive parent earlier in the show when he yelled at kwame and told bill he'd be fired if he screwed up anything. definitely a very different portrayal of him in this last show than in the previous ones. maybe it's because he wasn't carefully scripted. i don't know. i don't think i write as well when i'm sick. it's all kind of foggy. i think i'll take a nap.
oh yeah, but before i go... i just heard about a job that i would LOVE... in rhode island. damn.
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Thursday, April 15, 2004
I am complete...
I have now officially completed the list of 100 things you may not know about me. I wish I was feeling up to writing more, but my body is shouting loud and clear that it wants sleep. You know I'll be writing more tomorrow, though! Muah! (Internet kisses can't get anyone else sick.)
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Maybe baby...
maybe i picture somebody saying this as they wink, blow a kiss, and walk away. maybe i would just like to thank hoobastank for making a great song that i can crank way up in the car and sing with as i drive. maybe i am home sick today. maybe i have some chicken noodle soup waiting for me to eat it. maybe the quote "can't sleep! clowns will eat me" cracks me up every time. maybe my voice sounds deep and sexual and phone sexish whenever i get sick. maybe i'm too hyper to be sick today. maybe i'm going to eat now. maybe i will post more later today/tonight.
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Maybes R Us...
maybe that was my last creative "maybe" title. maybe i need more suggestions. maybe this one made me laugh. maybe i added more to the 100 things link. maybe i used to be a plain jane average kind of girl in school. maybe i have drastically changed since then. maybe i've always been this way and have just recently been recognized as intriguing. maybe it still surprises me a little when people notice. maybe i'm one of the few women who loves my body. maybe i used to keep a quote wall (with my roomie) of all the crazy things people said in undergrad. maybe i was usually one of the most outrageous. maybe i once pole danced with an unusually tall trophy. maybe two guys i never met before saw me and huffed it over to flirt with my roomie and me. maybe i now regret that there are pictures floating around. maybe i LOVE ferris bueller's day off. maybe i also love office space. maybe i'm convinced that the name of the apartment complex in office space is "morning wood." maybe i find it an honor to be the only girl who is allowed to join in on guy's night. maybe my financial aid stuff is all working out satisfactorily now (thank goodness!!!) maybe i'm slowing down and better call it a night. maybe i like comments. maybe i'm totally shameless about reminding people of that well-known fact.
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Tuesday, April 13, 2004
You crave knowledge?
Then I give you knowledge. You crave knowledge about me? Then I give it as I have time. Look to your right and behold the beautiful new link. The link that is like a little window into my inner workings. I give you the Top 100 Things You May Not Know About Me (to be diminished if I can't reach 100). Muah!
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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I dream of...
weird things. maybe i just decided to link all my posters and linkers. maybe i have to break my format for now. let's go chronologically...
the first weird dream i kept forgetting to post about was around the time when i was doing all the research on homeless policies. i had thrown away some completely rotten bananas in the kitchen trash, and later left my roommate a note to throw away the razor blades she'd left on the table (not suicidal, just an architecture major). as i continued working on the paper on the homeless later into the night, all of these must have fused in my mind. that night i dreamt that my roommate had stuck her razor blades into the bananas then taken out the trash. over night, a homeless man dug around in the dumpster, found perfectly good bananas (they were wrapped in a plastic bag), ate them, and proceeded to die a very brutal death because of the razor blades hidden inside. needless to say, i woke up quite distressed and shaken up. thankfully, it was just a dream.
this past weekend i had a couple post-Easter dinner so-full-i-fell-asleep dreams. in one of them my mom supposedly told my brother and sister-in-law that i swore too much, and gave me a look to indicate that she hoped i would work on that. in the other, i dreamed that i came across another blog where some chick was totally bashing my name. she said that only in america could you find a pointless white trash name like vortexia, and it made her sick. of course both of these dreams were completely realistic, and i later had to ask J to make sure they didn't really happen.
now for the hot daydream from yesterday. i was reminiscing on the joys of concerts, and how i missed them. there is something very sexual about it all. there are hundreds of people smashed against each other, temporarily all joined together with a similar interest. everyone's hot, sweaty, passionate for the music, high on an adrenaline rush... friendly and flirty, hoping to make plans for later that night. you can't deny that there's a certain sexual rush to screaming and dancing with music so loud it shakes you to your core. that's definitely a feeling you can only get from a damn good concert.
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Maybe, just maybe...
maybe i have to keep thinking of creative titles with the word maybe. maybe i couldn't stop thinking of some people today. maybe i wondered how weird or natural it would be for a group of bloggers who comment to each other to one day meet for coffee and chat in person. maybe i got linked by the man this morning. maybe this new format has caused me to think of nothing but maybes all day. maybe i like this edge of uncertainty. maybe it just feels like what fits my life with everything up in the air right now. maybe i want somebody to give me a heads up in the comments if all the maybe statements make them want to smack me. maybe then i'd step it down a notch. maybe i'd just brace myself for the smack. maybe i discovered that 3 of my other friends have been stalked before too. maybe it makes me wonder just how prevalent that really is. maybe i don't want to know. maybe i shouldn't have just shared that. maybe i'm not the only one who wonders why religions feel such a need to regulate sex. maybe i have moments where i just feel like rebelling. maybe i'm already pegged as the rebellious one in my family. maybe i like that. maybe i like that i'm so complex. maybe i'll post about 3 dreams and a daydream momentarily. maybe it will have to break from this format. maybe this is it for now. maybe i'm still pensive. maybe that means i'll write more before the day is over. maybe you better check...
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Monday, April 12, 2004
Maybe there's more...
maybe i like this format because it gets me thinking and seems to get you thinking too. maybe every aspect of my life is up in the air right now. maybe it's stressing me out. maybe i had one more thing thrown out of whack earlier today but was able to get it resolved before bed time. maybe it's bedtime. maybe i love interesting people. maybe that's an asset. maybe that's a downfall. maybe it's both. maybe every highly religious person has something they want to cram down others' throats. maybe it's just the most vocal ones. maybe they give everyone else a bad rap. maybe all of those people are just the ones who volunteer to speak to our class about their religion. maybe they just handed a friend of mine who just had a miscarriage last week a pamphlet about how your baby develops according to their faith. maybe i wanted to smack them for it. maybe i find it very intriguing that all religions seem to see the regulation of sex as priority number 1. maybe i roll my eyes at it. maybe i still got pulled into that belief though. maybe i wonder how all people don't think this much. maybe i think too much. maybe i'm intriguing. maybe i draw people in with my looks. maybe i draw them in with my thoughts. maybe i draw them in with a general je ne se quois. maybe i only know how people say it but am thoroughly confused by how things are written in french. maybe it's time for bed. maybe i'm still thinking too much. maybe this is cathartic. maybe it's going to become a nightly stream of consciousness release for me. maybe i just got a momentary streak of giddiness. maybe i'm going to try to subdue it into sleeping now. maybe i'll say goodnight moon :)
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Sunday, April 11, 2004
Maybe so...
maybe i had a great weekend. maybe my mom spoiled me with steak, ham, good wine, rich chocolate truffles, and yummy pancakes. maybe it felt so nice to be able to just be with my parents, brother and sister-in-law, and J as if we were all one family. maybe i got to talk to my grandma and get an update. maybe she's still recovering well. maybe i'm getting settled back in at the apartment. maybe i miss him already. maybe school is overwhelming. maybe i ran into 5 people from my past this weekend. maybe i got hit on from afar during the middle of church this morning. maybe he leaned over his grandmother to very enthusiastically tell his brother that he had just made eye contact with a hot chick and had to check her out after church. maybe he mouthed to me (and everyone sitting in the many rows between us) to wait for him after church so he could get my digits. maybe i gave them to him. maybe i'm taking a shower. maybe i'm lost in a generic sea of thoughts but they aren't clear enough to be written yet. maybe it's all of the above...
maybe you should leave a comment. maybe i should wish you a happy easter before it's too late.
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Saturday, April 10, 2004
I M crazy...
Because I'm lazy, BICHMSGC will now just be called BIC. He had the guts to talk to me after I had just spent the previous 12 hours completing a paper in which I had no clue what I was doing. Actually I think that's his favorite time to talk to me. He likes vortexia "picante" as he calls that mood. I would have posted the "jeebus" pic I mentioned below, but sadly it didn't save when I saved the convo. Although I have other older pics of him that I nearly posted, I decided to hide his identity and instead post a pic of our "love child"... his nameless cat. Or named by a single father of one cat who has no imagination. Kitty. That's her name. No wonder she hates him.
So here it is... keep in mind that some of the events may be about a week out-of-date and that names may be poorly changed to hide original identities.
This cat's father braves the whirlwind emotions and thoughts of V "picante"
BIC: cheeka cheeka!!!!
me: can staring at a white screen (word "paper") for too long burn your retinas... it feels like it
BIC: yeah it's not good for you
me: :-\ should i find my sunglasses?
BIC: lol
me: i have blue tinted ones that could make it look all relaxing
me: until i get a headache from the rest of the room being too dark
BIC: maybe you should get one of those welder's masks
me: lol... sweet! just what i want to wear when i write a paper!!! :-P
...
BIC: wow you write a surprising amount of blog
BIC: I have to admit that I'm too lazy to read your blog right now
BIC: nothing personal
me: =-O
me: it's vortexianess at your beckoned call... and you never know when you'll get the highly coveted vortexia picante
BIC: don't worry... it's there on the bookmark page, saved for those times when there's no live vortexia available
...
BIC: do you ever find that some songs make you wiggle your ears to the beat?
me: LOL no... i only wiggle my ears when i'm trying to
BIC: oh
me: does your nose wiggle when you talk?
BIC: haha sometimes
...
BIC: I really want to drink but none of my friends seem to be back from spring break yet
me: wow, late spring break
BIC: doesn't spring break usually coincide with easter?
me: no... more like st. patty's day
me: perfect for the drunk irish bastards ;-)
BIC: I had to do the st. patty's day thing during finals
me: ouch!
BIC: yeah ouch is right
BIC: that last final was terrible
me: lol... all the words were swimming around on the page
BIC: haha... that's how you know it's time to quit
me: hehe, you should have walked up to the prof and asked how he got the words to all move like that
me: ooh, have you ever tried to laugh really hard while you're stretching way back?
me: it sends you flying forward because your muscles are all stretched but contract when you laugh
me: the things you learn talking to me :-)
BIC: I'm just happy that someone else in this world is as weird as I am
BIC: and not incarcerated ;-)
me: hey, why do you think i should be incarcerated?!
BIC: cause you're a danger to others
me: how?! other than being so damn hot ;-)
BIC: *rolls eyes* :-D
me: seriously... how am i a danger to others?
BIC: with your laughing while leaning back
me: lol... oh because i could spring forward unto unsuspecting prey?
BIC: and your blog... I'm sure that once I read it, I'll be even more worried
...
[talking about his ISP]
BIC: it's the only f'n one in this town [Editors note: yes, he really did say "f'n"!!]
me: is that what you say when you won't cuss in front of patients?
me: there's the f'n tooth! pull, d-it!
...
me: i think i need to devote an entry to the crazy things said in this conversation
BIC: yeah you do
BIC: yay! I'll be famous
BIC: sort of
me: i'll just say i was talking to some cali dentist friend of mine
me: ya know, one of the many
me: i'm so on the dentist a-list
BIC: yeah after that wisdom tooth stuff
me: eesh!
BIC: we all love you because we're so proud
me: if you want to throw a communal party in my honor give me advanced notice so i can get there ;-)
BIC: haha ohhhhh they didn't tell you?
BIC: it's at my place... as soon as you can get here
BIC: we're all waiting right now
me: oh wow, ok!
me: i'll like totally skip like class and work ya know and then so totally party it up with you bitches, like ASAP!
BIC: exactly! :-)
...
[several phone calls later...]
me: i'm just so damn popular that i had to answer all my phone calls ;-)
BIC: mhmmm, suuuuuuure
me: sometimes i feel socially isolated in my little room in my apartment near a campus where i know nobody (who lives nearby), and then other times i have so many people talking at me that i can't address them all at once
me: like i go 2 days without a call, then 3 people beep in during one phone call
me: it's strange (but i love when i get to talk to everyone)
BIC: you should hold a press conference
BIC: once a week
me: lol, and address everbody's number one burning question
me: they can only ask one thing a week
BIC: exactly
BIC: blah... I need my real friends to be back
me: :-( *sniff*
BIC: awww
BIC: you're welcome to come along too
BIC: I have a laptop
me: lol... you're at the bar with your laptop plugged in and you're just chatting away and laughing hysterically at the monitor
...
[BIC on why he wouldn't talk to me when i called his cell... at 5 am]
me: is it because i always laugh at you?
BIC: hahahaha no no... in my heart of hearts I know that I'm better than you
BIC: jk
me: =-O *GAAAAAAAAAAAASP*
BIC: lol jk jk jk jk jk jk
me: hehe... damn skippy you're just kidding!
BIC: :-D
...
me: and you better appreciate that i sounded perky at that time of the morning
BIC: hehehe that was funny
BIC: but it was nice... I liked it better than no-coffee vortexia
me: lol... it was coffee free actually
me: all natural ingredients
BIC: well... whatever it was, it was nice
me: well thanks :-)
me: hehe, probably would have irritated the hell out of you if you had answered when it was 5 am your time
me: stop being so damn happy! it's early!!!
BIC: lol... yeah I'm glad I didn't pick up
BIC: plus I was asleep, so it would have been interesting to talk to me in my sleep
BIC: you could have probed into the depths of my psyche
me: yeah, well you told me i was allowed to call at any time of the night and you'd talk to me
me: i was trying to make sure you honored that
me: then you punked out and had your phone off
BIC: lol... that promise is voided when the phone is off :-D
me: punk
me: bastard punk child
BIC: haha
BIC: you got my number
me: not that you'll ever answer it
BIC: lol I meant that in the vaudeville comedy sense... "you got my number"
me: i know you did
BIC: well...
BIC: blee
...
BIC: I wasn't interesting in the beginning
me: you didn't know you were supposed to be "on"
BIC: haha... baby I'm always "on"
BIC: there's no off position on the genius switch
me: LMFAO
BIC: haha... even kitty laughed
me: i think that's the closest to a come-on you've ever attempted
BIC: HAHAHAHA
BIC: *awkward silence*
BIC: hahaha... here's a quote for you
BIC: I'm starting to look like the jesus guy from the passion of the christ
BIC: I think it's time for a haircut
BIC: I look insane
BIC: it probably has a lot to do with me needing some drinking
me: lol... i have vodka and cosmo mix
me: come over
me: oh but wait... if you won't talk to me on the phone then you definitely won't ever meet me
me: although you were willing to drive the distance for miss texaco
BIC: =-O never
...
[i had to take a quick shower, but i left him with a toothbrush related question to answer while i was gone. this is the response upon my return.]
BIC: hmm... ponder ponder
BIC: I suppose that when one asks a question of toothbrush efficacy, one is really referring to a deeper truth: one that will take us back in time to the beginning of the toothbrush itself. It was nearly 50 million years ago that neanderthal cavemen first fashioned crude dentifrices by fraying the ends of a twig. Flashing forward to the middle ages, French peasants discovered that regular care of their teeth resulted in less decay and fewer infections. Out of straw and small pieces of wood, they fashioned a device that they called the toute brouche or "little wood and straw dental brushing device". It is from this word that we get the name toothbrush.
BIC: blah blah blah etc etc... all toothbrushes are the same
...
BIC: brace yourself
BIC: bic-jeebus
me: omg, lol
BIC: hahaha, yeah
me: you look like a middle school reject
me: (sorry)
BIC: LOL
me: omg, lol... can that be the pic that makes you famous?? :-D
BIC: hahahahaha, oh you evil vortexia picante
me: mua hahaha!
BIC: only if you splice your pic onto it, haha
me: "so i was talking to the middle school reject, aka bic jeebus last night and...."
me: eeeeeeks!
BIC: just make it so that I'm hitting you on the head with my fist instead of holding the camera :-D
me: :'(
BIC: awwww
...
me: do you have a roommate?
BIC: nope
me: oh nice! lucky boy
BIC: that's why I'm so bored!!!
me: haha... i'll pack my roommate in a box and ship her to you
BIC: umm... I probably wouldn't like that
BIC: from what I've heard
me: why not??
me: lol, damn, you've heard the reputation
me: um, she's changed? :-D
BIC: changed... mentally, or implants?
me: haha... her attitude
BIC: oh good ;-)
me: she actually said that she hoped she could get shipped to you to be your sex slave
me: her exact words
BIC: LOL
BIC: that sounds like something that any woman might say, ever
...
BIC: I'll overcome my fear of vortexia
me: haha... if you need to start a support group, let me know
BIC: lol ok
BIC: *Fear*
me: awww, you used to cling to me, but now you're afraid
BIC: *cling*
me: lol... *cling* *fear* *cling* *panic attack*
BIC: hehe... maybe I'm bipolar
me: lol, i think so
me: well go get medicated and i'll talk to you soon
And there ya have it, folks. Sorry it's so long, but I tried to include enough details that you could follow the funny stuff. I hope you have enjoyed this installation into the inner workings of our minds. Until next time... leave comments! (oh, and his future in the blog world depends on your postive or negative comments, so leave something!)
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Friday, April 09, 2004
Swimsuit season...
So swimsuit season is coming soon, and I found a cute new suit a few weeks back when shopping with The Beer. It still isn't warm enough to swim, but I did find a pic of the suit so I could show it off early. It's by Guess? 
That is what my new swimsuit looks like, except that the front of my top laces together just like on the bottom. And I fill out the bust and the butt better than the mannequin.
I LOVED my old suit, but it got worn enough that from a distance you couldn't tell for sure if I was wearing anything or not. It was pale yellow to start with, but only got lighter with the chlorine and salt water. This is what the old one looked like. It was an adorable little bitty Ralph Lauren string bikini. It will be missed.
Again, I filled out the top a little more than the model. I got it right before J and I went to the beach for Spring Break. A couple weeks later, he called and told me that the big Ralph Lauren ad for Sunglass Hut (where he worked at that time) for the summer season was the model wearing my swimsuit. Kinda funny... and kinda boring. Oh well. Anyway, just wanted to share the pics. Remember... BICHMSGC is making his first blogging appearance ever tomorrow morning! Check him out. And you need to let me know if the IM convos are interesting to you guys too, or not. It will determine his future blogging fate. And the fate of any of you other people who I talk with on IM (if you want any of it posted). Ok, going now!
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Important notice: Do not be deceived!!! Any other vortexia you find while googling is not me.
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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A promise made is a promise kept...
Isn't there some saying like that? Well whatever it is, I nearly forgot that I promised BICHMSGC that I would post excerpts of our recent delirious IM convo to slowly bring him into the blinding limelight of the blogging community. Or something like that. It was partly to give you all a good laugh, partly to embarrass him, partly to show him I have enough balls to really follow through, and just partly because I can. He told me I could do it (I'm not sure if he really thought I would or not), and even said I could post the SCARY BICHMSGC "jeebus" pic (as he dubbed it) of him with hair that badly needed to be cut and a beard that desperately needed to plummet to its death into a trash can. BICHMSGC is also a dentist-in-training in San Fran, so think how scared his patients must have been. If you know me well, then you know how ironic it is that I could ever think of a dentist as a friend with my phobia and all, but we have made an agreement. An integral part of making our friendship work is the agreement that he is never allowed to touch my mouth. But enough about that. This is just a teaser. You get the real thing tomorrow. That's right. I'm post dating it, punk. And I'm in a very strange "picante" mood right now. The kind that makes you laugh and gasp all at once. Did I really just say that?! Oh yeah, I did. And I sounded like I meant it too... even if I didn't. Check back tomorrow for a crazy conversation-du-jour.
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Erg...
So two days ago it was completely confirmed that my close friend was no longer pregnant. She had to go in yesterday morning to clear it all out so they could try again in a couple months. Everyone was sad, but at least it was before they had actually seen a sonogram of the baby, knew the gender, or any of that stuff. Since we're such close friends, I always update J on her life because it's close to being part of my life. We joked that I was going to have sympathy pains all through her pregnancy because I always knew the latest details on everything about it. So I told J and about how absolutely incredible her hubby has been through it all. He took off work to go to the appointment Wed. and then again yesterday to be there for the procedure. Both of us were moved by how phenomenal he has been through the whole thing. It made me so so happy that she had such an incredible spouse, and made me feel so much better that I knew he'd be taking care of her so well since I couldn't be there myself. I told J how much that meant to me, and how I would have been ready to leave work to be there for her (or for my friend whose brother was in the wreck) despite the fact that I'm not family and probably wouldn't have the approval of a supervisor because it wouldn't make sense to them. I certainly hope that J has the same kind of commitment to me that he'd be willing to drop it all to help me when I really needed him. My gut reaction is yes, but then I doubt myself because he wasn't there for me when I got my wisdom teeth removed. For 11 years I had lived in mortal fear of having wisdom teeth and having to get them removed. I found out that they had to come out about 9 months or so before it actually happened (dentist and surgeon were 5 hours from where I was finishing up undergrad). I told J that much in advance that the one thing I absolutely needed, HAD to have, was that he be there for me with the surgery. He had to either do the whole shebang with my mom (waiting in the waiting room with her and then taking me home) or had to be waiting for me when I got home and stay with me the rest of the day. He didn't do either. He came over between summer school classes for about a half hour, said I looked like I was doing well, and left again. While that hurt, I was still so elated that I was not in dire amounts of pain and didn't have one of the serious side effects that they warn you about, that I let it slide. Now trying to figure out if he'd really be there for me when I needed him, though, it makes me wonder. He seems to always worry more about others (teachers, employers, his parents, etc) and know that if he lets me slide he'll eventually be forgiven. I just don't know...
On a happier note, I came up with a visual for a session I did yesterday with a little boy having a variety of problems. It was a huge hit with my supervisor and the boy, and he was so happy that I made one for him to keep to help him remember what to do in tough situations. That made yesterday a good day at work. As much as I complain about it sometimes, I really do love what I do, and I'm really going to miss the schools when I leave in a few weeks. I love the people, I love the kids, I love the adorable artwork and themes, I love it all. As far as I know, though, it's a no-go on me possibly taking my supervisor's job next year when she retires. They still want a full time person (which is a good thing), and I could only give them 2 days a week because of my 2nd internship and classes on the other 3 days. Well it's shower and work time, so this is it for now. I probably won't be able to post over the weekend due to the family holiday, but keep checking... I just might be able to surprise you after all! Have a great one!
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Wednesday, April 07, 2004
Diversity and prejudice...
Quickie entry tonight. Want to keep people visiting, but don't have much time tonight (or many thoughts!). But we talked about diversity and prejudice tonight in our class from hell. What's sad is that we came to the conclusion that we still live in a society where people hold all kinds of irrational prejudices. People hate people. If you're too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too pretty, too light, too dark, too smart, too dumb, too tall, too short, too rich, too poor, too religious, too anti-religion, too feminine, too masculine, too absolutely anything. It really is sad. Even the most average run-of-the-mill person can think of a time in which he/she has been treated with prejudice. I've had people tell me to my face that they hate me because I'm skinny. Or pretty. Or smart. Or claimed that I wasn't really Christian because of my denomination. Or they've hated me for reasons that I can't even try to figure out. I know there are always some people who just don't get along with you, which is probably the case for the last example, but hating me for traits that really don't have much bearing on my personality without getting to know me... that sucks. I also know I only receive a tiny fraction of the prejudice that many other people face on a daily basis. That makes my heart ache for them. How can people hate so easily? I mean, if you must hate, then at least get to know the person and find a really good, valid reason to dislike them at least. They ran over your beloved pet and laughed about it... yeah, feel that anger and that loss. But hate a good person just because they're different from you? No. There is no "norm" anymore. Have to get to bed for another early morning tomorrow. Hope this entry gave you something to think about even if it was short and rambling. Feel free to share thoughts in the comments or via email if it's too personal. I'd love to be intrigued...
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Monday, April 05, 2004
If you want a good laugh...
I hope spreading this link around doesn't end the fun these people are having, but this was too funny not to share with you guys. Sorry it's a little long, but once you get past the first couple posts it gets funnier and funnier. The highlight to me, I think, is the random story some guy threw in about the "asshole numbers" he kept on speed dial. Man! (That's on page 6 if you just want to breeze over to it.) My sides hurt...
Oh. Updatage... I actually had a decent conversation with my roommate today. Made it a little harder to dislike her. I know some of the problems stem from both of us being so busy and her never having had a roommate before, but it's still hard. She moves out in about a month though, and hopefully they won't fill the room. That's the only slight downside of separate contracts. I also have to find a TV and possibly a DVD and/or VCR player since that was her one contribution to the apartment. If any of you happen to have an old TV I could have/use, let me know! I may get my own since I'll need to eventually, or I may decide to borrow for a little while longer. I should garage sale for one. Hmm.... OK, so onto other news. Another really close friend is going through bad times. I don't want to say because it hasn't been 100% confirmed yet, but she's having a health problem that will be very sad to deal with. On the upside, though, the other friend's older brother does not appear to have paralysis or brain damage, although he still has a long road to recovery. I also discovered that the night class I missed tonight (we have a 20 pg group paper so we skipped to work on it... I know, nerds) only had 5 people show up today! We probably are supposed to have 20-25 people in the class, and only 5 showed tonight. I wasn't one of them, so I hope I didn't just get totally screwed over! Eek. Oh well. I'll try not to miss it again, though! Ok, need to get to bed now, but I'll write more later. I feel scattered...
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Sunday, April 04, 2004
A serendipitous accident...
Have you ever helped somebody completely on accident? It's a very strange situation. I somehow accidentally helped a couple this weekend. It turns out that a couple with whom I'm close was having a fight about some hurtful things said by a third party. I just happened to reply to a week-old email talking about how hard it was for them to be apart. I said that I knew how hard it was because I had done it for 3 years, but you at least learn the value of letting some petty arguments go. Apparently that advice spoke exactly to the problem they were having, and the girl assumed that I was giving that advice because the guy had told me about what was happening. After a shaky (and confusing) first email explaining that she still found it hard to deal with and me realizing that I had unknowingly stepped into a huge mess, something miraculous happened. I guess she must have shared the contents of the email with him, somehow it gave him the courage to talk to the third party, they made up, and voila the relationship was restored. This morning I found another email explaining the situation, apologizing for drawing me in and confusing me, and thanking me for sending them a miracle. Woah! I sat there for a long time absolutely STUNNED. How could I have helped without even knowing it? And in such an active role, not like recycling one piece of paper at a time eventually helps without you knowing you were a part of it. I helped completely on accident, just by being nice and willing to share of my own life experience. I felt awed and humbled. I just needed to share that.
On a more secular note, I got a new cell phone. Well new used. My roomietta (the good former roomie) switched phone carriers and offered me her old phone and all the trimmings for free. Now I truly loved my old phone (Motorola StarTac). We'd been through so much together, and have been together for around 4 years. I know I shouldn't feel an attachment to a high-tech piece of plastic, but I did. It kept me connected to the people I love for so many years, and we went through tens of thousands of minutes together. When calculating living expenses for FAFSA, my dad felt it necessary to include my cell phone plan expenses because he said it was such an integral part of my life. So after saying goodbye to my old phone and reminiscing on all the good times we had together, I entered the Spring store and asked them to switch me over. Although some of the new phones are much crappier than the older ones, the sales rep reassured me that they had gotten good ratings on this phone and had very few returns. I took a deep breath and told her to go ahead. After the surprise of it only taking about 10 minutes to walk in and out (and the transfer now being a FREE service!!!), I felt exhilarated by the new possibilities. Yes I realize that this makes me sound like a money driven 14 year old snot, but I can assure you that I am not (and you ought to know that by now anyway). Once I ran my other errands and returned home, I settled down to delete my roomietta's 100-some phone numbers to add my own 100-some phone numbers. What an ordeal! It took yesterday afternoon and a good chunk of today to get them all done. Now I have to actually get down to the work I needed to have gotten done today. Oh, so you're curious about the new phone? It's the Samsung A-620... a $300-some dollar camera-phone for free. I love my roomietta! Ok, gotta run now, but FEEL FREE TO COMMENT! Really!!!
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UPDATE: Apparently Bush in 30 Seconds was taken down, so I removed the link and added a site I found a while back and have been trying to find ever since. Faces of the Fallen puts a name and a face to the ever-rising death toll in Iraq. It's always a few weeks behind because they have to collect the information, but it's still very eerie and humbling. Take a look around...
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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Friday, April 02, 2004
Linkylou...
I added a few new links... mostly the advocacy sites for the homeless that I mentioned previously. I only put some of them up because I figured others were too narrowly focused onto my topic. If you want those specific ones, then you know where to find them. I also added my email address and what may become a website if I ever get the time.
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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My mind is all over the place...
I feel lonely. Nobody cares to leave comments lately. I seem to notice a trend, that nobody cares to leave words of encouragement or comments in general when the news is bad. After I post the good news, though, everyone is happy to hear it. Life isn't always peachy. What will happen if the next time something bad happens there is no happy ending? I've gotten lucky in the past, as have the people in my life who I love and care about, and I'm eternally grateful for that, but...
I know this isn't what you guys want to hear, and some of you I know read this but never leave comments. But I do like them. And when you feel so alone in the world with bad things happening to half the people you know, it does help a lot to have others there encouraging you. I'm insanely busy, but I try to keep this updated with the latest in my life because I want to still feel connected to the people I may not always have time to talk with weekly on the phone. And it also gives me the chance to talk to others who I don't know in person. I don't want to guilt trip anybody, and I want you all to know I love you. I just felt frustrated.
Now to better things... My fabulous former roomie (roomietta) sent me her old cell phone in the mail. I got it yesterday and it is oodles of fun. My phone is nice but about 4 years old, so I am now investigating the fun of having two color screens, a camera, a silent mode that really is silent (rather than noisily vibrating), etc. I need to go to the sprint store to see if I can schmooze anyone into switching me over and waiving the transfer fee. I can't afford to switch right now if they're going to charge me to do it, so let's hope they don't! I also want to make sure the phone works well according to others who have it, since so many phones are crap lately and mine is actually still a good little trooper.
Speaking of troops, I did feel very moved by the outpouring of love from our grad school group. My friend only had to call one of us, and we mobilized forces to inform every other person in our group so everyone could be praying for them and know what happened. Now that her older brother made it through the heart surgery (it was a torn aorta), we dispersed the news again. They said that getting through the first hour and through the surgery were his two biggest hurdles, and since those were both over he should be ok. He also broke his neck, though, so they're waiting to see if there will be any paralysis. They are hopeful, though, because he was moving his hands and feet while he was unconscious. He may need a neck brace or a halo, they're just waiting to see. So good news on that front. I still have no clue what will happen to me about the grants or financial aid. I faxed the woman a nice, diplomatic letter along with my adjusted info and explained that I was confused about the conflicting stories and wanted her to contact me. I haven't heard back. I hope she knows that she doesn't want to be on the receiving end of my wrath for screwing me over, though, so I hope that doesn't happen. The other things I had thought of I can no longer remember, so I guess that's it. Later...
P.S. Keep them in your prayers.
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The official stuff...
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